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Matt Gaetz Tells Girlfriend He Can Attend Quinceañera After All (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

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TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Former Florida representative Matt Gaetz informed his girlfriend Valentina he will be able to go to her 15th birthday party after ending his bid for Attorney General, sources who attend Rickards High School confirm.

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[–] Today@lemmy.world 74 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Sometimes the articles are just silly, but this one is worth the read!

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The cousins from Miami got me

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The "Gaetz made a post asking reddit how to make venmo payments private" was my favorite.

[–] spamellama@midwest.social 4 points 7 months ago

Because of course he would

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

I felt compelled to read it too. Haha.

Was not disappointed!

[–] Facebones@reddthat.com 56 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Gaetz found out it wasn't "JV Dance" it was "JD Vance"

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

Oh yooooou! I love this comment!

[–] Jimbabwe@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

Somebody was on reddit today

[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 36 points 7 months ago (1 children)

So glad his schedule freed up

[–] radix@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

He has time to finally go back and get another diploma. He can graduate high school again, right?

[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 12 points 7 months ago

He’d probably prefer middle school

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I cannot wait for them to take over Infowars

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This one is a different satire newspaper, but yeah.

[–] jwt@programming.dev 8 points 7 months ago

This one can take over breitbart or oan.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

Punks probably drooling in anticipation

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

TBF middle school volleyball finals take precedence