This could be so much longer.
Killing children, class systems, so many programming language names, the ridiculous ways equality and order-of-operations are done sometimes. Plenty of recursion jokes to be made. Big O notation. Any other ideas?
GOTO
GOTO is the only thing that makes sense. It's the "high-level" concepts like for-loops, functions and list comprehension that ruined programming.
series.append(series[k-1]+series[k-2]) for k in range(2,5)]
RAVINGS DREAMT UP BY THE UTTERLY DERANGED
I started coding with TurboBasic, which included the helpful innovation of GOTO {label} instead of GOTO {line number}, which allowed you to have marginally-better-looking code like:
GOTO bob
...
bob:
{do some useless shit}
return
which meant you essentially had actual, normal methods and you didn't have to put line numbers in front of everything. The problem was that labels (like variables) could be as long as you wanted them to be, but the compiler only looked at the first two letters. Great fun debugging that sort of nonsense.
if goto make sense why don't you go to get some bitches
Because "get some bitches" is an invalid instruction
Big Orgasm notation
A monad is just a monoid in the category of endofunctors.
Masters and slaves
Cloning
Deploying code (that's what you do with soldiers!!!1)
Using Git to rewrite history.
Atomic values (like the bomb!)
These people are madmen.
One of the slave node's child process failed, so the master node sent a signal to terminate the child and restart the slave
There's pretty solid reason my research group is pushing to use "head node and executor nodes" nomenclature rather than the old-school "master node and slave nodes" nomenclature, haha
while (true) { print(money) }
isn't that just crypto mining?
Three years ago, yes. Now? not so much.
i mine monero while idle and it prints a massive 0.03GBP a day :)
Serious question, wouldn't it be cheaper to buy it?
Yes
given i have solar panels, it's technically free money.
JavaScript will actually open the print dialog.
I actually have that teapot and I use it several times a week.
Beautiful teapot dude!
Thanks! In computer graphics it's referred to as the "Utah teapot" because the 3D model was created at the University of Utah. But it was originally a Melitta brand teapot. It is still manufactured by German company Friesland, which I bought it from.
Unfortunately it appears they recently had a fire and their webshop is temporarily closed, but I think you can also get it off of Amazon.
Cat is a fluffy animal, not for reading shit
Writing 'echo' cannot do anything. Everyone knows echo works with sound only.
Cat is a fluffy animal, and for shreading shit
Enough people have thought of while (true){ print(money); } for manufacturers to have built stuff into printers to prevent that, alas.
Can someone explain this joke to me
"I'm writing a recursive method with threads to optimize the CPU usage in a 0.02%"
I understand everything apart from the "in a 0.02%". What does that mean? How can something be in a percentage?
It's a nonsensical statement to us programmers too.
I think they meant « by ».
It's a double joke. For programmers, it's pretty useless unless your in high performance computing.
If you're on the nitty gritty OS or CPU itself, 0.02% optimization can mean significant improvememt of different things but because it is otherwise unitless, it is equally useless to the reader.
Increasing the CPU optimization by 0.02% does seem crazy to me. If you're going to spend time working on something, make it worthwhile. Also, isn't while(true) {print(money)} Microsoft, Apple and Amazon:s business model?
while{true}{print "money"};
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I bet ATMs would have a while true print money function
Math professorss be like:
I always wonder what the original post was. Something like "Stop doing science!" or some shit but seriously rather than sarcastically.
Ah ha! Thanks, I thought this spawned on some conspiracy facebook group
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