Microblog Memes

"How many of your kids hate you?"

I would literally pretend I had absolutely no clue who he was or any familiarity with any of his "achievements" or why they're "important". It would be pretty funny to see him try to respond to that.

"One day a man invited him into a richly furnished house, saying 'be careful not to spit on the floor.' Diogenes, who needed to spit, spat in his face, exclaiming that it was the only dirty place he could find where spitting was permitted."

I would ask him who he is. Then when he gets upset that I don't recognize him and he gives me his name I say "hmmm, never heard of you."

Watch is ego implode.

"Please stop headbutting my fist"

You've gone from being perceived as an inspiring intelligent neurodiverse outsider, to an evil good for nothing oligarch. Can you imagine what the impact would be if you would announce tomorrow, that you would give all or most of your shares to the employees that work for your companies, and you would state to the world that having (hecto)billionaires is dangerous and immoral, and that being one you experienced first hand that it is psychologically harmful, that you lost sense of who you were, but now want to return to your innocence.

With his fragile ego, I’d spend the entire time asking if he could smell that awful smell. I’d ask him to check the bottoms of his shoes, drawing more and more attention and increasing his discomfort, all the while pretending that I’ve never heard of Elon Musk.

I’d ask him how his values were so easily changed by a comedian and his roving troupe of rude boys.

Show him this picture and just ask "Why?".

I’d slap him. I don’t fucking care, I’m dying from societal neglect and welfare failings and like literally 0.00001% of his wealth could fix all my problems, you have to be inherently selfish to hoard all that wealth (not to mention be inherently evil to get it in the first place).

(this is a joke, I wouldn’t put it past Musk for suing for verbal assault or something)

"Can I have a dollar?"

If he says yes, and give me a dollar, I'd wait for him to put his wallet away and then ask,

"Can I have another dollar?"

And then do this on repeat until he stops.

hey look its welfare guy.

I'd like to think that I'd find a quick easy way to Luigi him but I know I'd just stare and look around for his security and be questioning my life choices that I was in the same room.

pretend not to know who he is

"Bet you can't end world hunger"

"Excuse me?"

"So, Bezos was right?"

"Now listen here you little shit.."

I'd just leave myself. Words mean nothing to fascists; I'd be wasting my breath and sitting at his table.

Why the fuck are you spending so much money getting to a dead planet when you could be spending money to save a living one?

The only question I'd have for someone like him is.

"Do you think even the worst person can change...? That everybody can be a good person, if they just try?" And then I'd try my hand at fighting him after I got through the Sans Undertale speech.

Tell him about trains without saying trains and hope for the best

"What happened to your concern about climate change?"

Followed by

"You've completely debased yourself by supporting the one guy who will destroy the planet. And for what? A slight to your ego because Biden gave you the cold shoulder once? You are a huge thin-skinned bitch and will be remembered as one"

"Trump surrounds himself with Yes Men who constantly just kiss his ass.... Is that why you two get along so well?"

Or on a more realistic note I'd ask him about climate change and try to understand what twisted logic he's using to justify his actions.

"Oh, I know you ! you're that Ironman guy who can't build himself a flying armor ?"

Do you follow this Elon guy on Twitter? He says the stupidest shit.

Excuse me, but you look familiar. Where do I know you from? Elon Musk? Do you sell perfume? X.com? Is that a porn site?

"how bad is the kompromat on you? Were they teenagers or like much younger?"

"It's obvious you're just mad that your daughter is trans and that Grimes left you, everyone can tell"

"Hey, does this rag smell like ~~chloroform~~ neurotoxin to you?"

Just prerend you dont know him, and just refer to him as this "new older intern"

If my reaction the first time I saw a cybertruck IRL is any indication, I'd scream.