stretching mission that was supposed to last only eight days to more than nine months
honkeys are forcing space pregnancies now
this post was submitted on 19 Dec 2024
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This Gilligan's Island reboot is stretching the premise a little.
A three hour tour
And I think it's gonna be a long long time
if this happened to the USSR at any point or to China we'd never hear the end about it
something similar happened in the USSR, but only due to its collapse. The story of Sergei Krikalev is a very sad one and an inspiration for a lot of sovietwave/doomer art. he went into space a cosmonaut for the greatest country on earth, but it collapsed while he was up there.
since the whole collapse was so devastating it took a bit of time before the Russian Federation was even able to organize a rescue. he was supposed to only be in space 100 days but it was extended to 311 days.
If this happened under Trump, we'd have never heard the end of it.
Fuck, it's still weird that it hasn't been the main story (pre-:luigi-dance:, of course). If this happened 10 years ago, FOX News would have had a great big ticker under every segment that said WEEKS:DAYS:HOURS:MIN:SEC that OBAMNA has left Our astronauts STRANDED!!!
exactly, would be used as a definitive proof that the system is collapsing
It would be annual TIL post on 
Living their best lives
Oh god, they're gonna die up there aren't they?
if it gets desperate theyll probably just do like that one west virginian town who begged for a bridge from the ussr to get the US to act, they'll send some desperate appeal to china who will start pretending like they'll devise a rescue mission which will get the US off its ass
It's literally illegal for Americans to ask China for co-operation in space related matters thanks to The Wolf Amendment and Russia due to sanctions. I don't believe other space faring nations have the capability right now, either.
Imagine even hinting at asking China for help and getting slapped with High Treason as soon as you land on Earth.
That and they'd probably slap tax evasion on top.
no they're going to die when the return vehicle hits the ground because their bones will be glass
NASA has learned that without Earth’s gravity affecting the human body, weight-bearing bones lose on average 1% to 1.5% of mineral density per month during spaceflight.
you win some, you soyuz some
drum roll
fade to black
maybe they can defect to Russia
Ooooh, maybe they can drop the station on 
Have a cool snappy line before impact
"Musky, We're home" or something like that
