this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2024
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drop your childhood stories:
>be me, age 12
>hate showering more than anything
>it feels gross and i hate getting wet
>my mom starts telling me that if i don't shower every day then i can't eat dinner
>i want my dindin so i come up with a genius plan
>let the shower run for 10-15 minutes while i sit in the bathroom
>quickly wet my hair with sink
>mom buys it, i get dindin
>after a month she gets suspicious
>realize i have to step up my game
>now i run the shower and rub my arms/neck with hand soap
>also run my hair under the shower so it's dripping wet and not just moist
>she asks why i haven't asked her to buy shampoo yet
>come up with final version of my genius plan
>i'll stand next to the shower, let the water run, rub soap on my whole body and also use shampoo on my hair so it smells like shampoo
>then i'll rinse off in the sink
>all while the shower runs

i did this for four years until i realized i was just showering on hard mode

top 29 comments
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[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 9 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Kids are great. Mine spend 5-10 minutes refusing to do a two minute task.

Kind of like how I spend three or four days avoiding a ten minute phone call.

[–] AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee 7 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I am currently on month 6 of not calling the dentist about a painful tooth

[–] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 4 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Not the flex you think it is lol

Seriously, get your teeth fixed. It’s such a huge impact on your quality of life, especially later in life when that damage really starts to affect your eating habits or self confidence

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Not to mention, you could literally fucking die from a tooth infection if left untreated.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 1 points 10 months ago

And miss out on all this!? *gestures wildly at everything*

[–] Duranie@literature.cafe 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I wouldn't call it a flex. But sometimes openly admitting something even to strangers on the Internet can offer some ownership of the situation and start someone headed the right direction.

[–] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 1 points 10 months ago

Yeah I was mostly joking. With a bit of good advice sprinkled on top

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

It doesn't seem like they were trying to flex

[–] 7u5k3n@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Broke a tooth on a pizza crust once.. 5 years later it abscessed and I had to have emergency surgery to have it removed.

Fun times :/

[–] Holyhandgrenade@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If you broke your tooth on a pizza crust, there was definitely something wrong with that pizza!

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm just waiting Americans to come in and tell that actually that's just Houston style pizza or some shit and it's supposed to be like that (also it's a cube, don't worry about it)

[–] Holyhandgrenade@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Houston lobbied for the FDA to permit the addition of glass shards to pizza dough as a bulking agent. What doesn't kill your teeth and internal organs can only make you stronger!

[–] qevlarr@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (2 children)

"dinner is ready in two minutes"

Two minutes later, dinner ready

"but I just started a new game!"

🙄

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

"Why did you do that when you knew dinner was going to be ready in two minutes?"

"dunno"

:/

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev -1 points 10 months ago

“but I just started a new game!”

Too bad, you either quit that game right now or no videogame/computer for you for the next 2 days.

[–] CJOtheReal@ani.social 1 points 10 months ago

4 days... I've been avoiding some phone calls for straight up 3 years now, the people probably think im dead.

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

If this isnt fake op may actually be on the spectrum. Washing yourself with the sink Is also called a catwash.

been plenty of times i ve been way to overtimulated to handle a full shower its much more manageable to wash and dry hair and body parts separately one by one.

Op learned what many autistic people do. Inventing an alternative method while masking it into the socially acceptable method.

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago (2 children)

It's also called a whore bath. He might just be a whore.

[–] frosty99c@midwest.social 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

A friend of mine is a non-native English speaker. He teaches at an elementary school and works with 'English as a second language' students. He casually mentioned that he always tells his students to take a 'horse bath' in the bathroom sink after recess if needed. He was traumatized when I told him that he'd misheard that phrase for his entire adult life.

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

That story's as spicy as whore's radish!

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 1 points 10 months ago

Reminds me of a snippet of conversation I overheard at the grocery. Kid’s talking to their mom and yells “child prostitution, ever heard of it?” She was pissed.

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

This is a right of passage. Growing up there are times when you find out that the easy way to go about doing something is the way your parents were trying to pound into your head all along

[–] stevestevesteve@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Write-off passage

[–] Baines@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

some of ye all were just highly regarded

[–] Cordyceps@sopuli.xyz 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I first read that as highly retarded, and thought it was a bit excessive.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 1 points 10 months ago

There's a reason you read it that way

[–] Feirdro@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I’m constantly amazed at the variety of possible human sensory differences.

My problem is not spending the whole day in the shower.

[–] jesterkun@midwest.social 1 points 10 months ago

The white noise aspect of the shower is amazing. Have you ever turned off the lights and just stood under the water in the dark? It's pretty great, in my opinion.