this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2024
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Greentext

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drop your childhood stories:
>be me, age 12
>hate showering more than anything
>it feels gross and i hate getting wet
>my mom starts telling me that if i don't shower every day then i can't eat dinner
>i want my dindin so i come up with a genius plan
>let the shower run for 10-15 minutes while i sit in the bathroom
>quickly wet my hair with sink
>mom buys it, i get dindin
>after a month she gets suspicious
>realize i have to step up my game
>now i run the shower and rub my arms/neck with hand soap
>also run my hair under the shower so it's dripping wet and not just moist
>she asks why i haven't asked her to buy shampoo yet
>come up with final version of my genius plan
>i'll stand next to the shower, let the water run, rub soap on my whole body and also use shampoo on my hair so it smells like shampoo
>then i'll rinse off in the sink
>all while the shower runs

i did this for four years until i realized i was just showering on hard mode

all 33 comments
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[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Kids are great. Mine spend 5-10 minutes refusing to do a two minute task.

Kind of like how I spend three or four days avoiding a ten minute phone call.

[–] qevlarr@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago (2 children)

"dinner is ready in two minutes"

Two minutes later, dinner ready

"but I just started a new game!"

🙄

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago

"Why did you do that when you knew dinner was going to be ready in two minutes?"

"dunno"

:/

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev -1 points 2 years ago

“but I just started a new game!”

Too bad, you either quit that game right now or no videogame/computer for you for the next 2 days.

[–] CJOtheReal@ani.social 1 points 2 years ago

4 days... I've been avoiding some phone calls for straight up 3 years now, the people probably think im dead.

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

If this isnt fake op may actually be on the spectrum. Washing yourself with the sink Is also called a catwash.

been plenty of times i ve been way to overtimulated to handle a full shower its much more manageable to wash and dry hair and body parts separately one by one.

Op learned what many autistic people do. Inventing an alternative method while masking it into the socially acceptable method.

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (2 children)

It's also called a whore bath. He might just be a whore.

[–] frosty99c@midwest.social 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

A friend of mine is a non-native English speaker. He teaches at an elementary school and works with 'English as a second language' students. He casually mentioned that he always tells his students to take a 'horse bath' in the bathroom sink after recess if needed. He was traumatized when I told him that he'd misheard that phrase for his entire adult life.

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

That story's as spicy as whore's radish!

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago

Reminds me of a snippet of conversation I overheard at the grocery. Kid’s talking to their mom and yells “child prostitution, ever heard of it?” She was pissed.

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

This is a right of passage. Growing up there are times when you find out that the easy way to go about doing something is the way your parents were trying to pound into your head all along

[–] stevestevesteve@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Write-off passage

[–] Baines@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

some of ye all were just highly regarded

[–] Cordyceps@sopuli.xyz 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I first read that as highly retarded, and thought it was a bit excessive.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago

There's a reason you read it that way

[–] Feirdro@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I’m constantly amazed at the variety of possible human sensory differences.

My problem is not spending the whole day in the shower.

[–] jesterkun@midwest.social 1 points 2 years ago

The white noise aspect of the shower is amazing. Have you ever turned off the lights and just stood under the water in the dark? It's pretty great, in my opinion.

[–] PatFussy@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

are you guys that bitch made that saying retarded on a 4chan sub is crossed out

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yeah ngl as someone who grew up being called retarded for being autistic I really hate how this word has become a slur.

Like every time people create a word for a specific type of person it becomes a slur. At some point people need to just get the fuck over it.

[–] LwL@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I also just don't get the point of censoring. I don't have any particular feelings about the word retarded, but I'm also autistic. Do I get annoyed when people use autistic as an insult (i hope it never reaches actual slur status because I'll never accept it as such), esp for stuff that has nothing to do with ASD symptoms at all? Sure. Does it make it better if someone crosses it out in a screenshot, or censors it in a quote? Lolno.

[–] smeg@feddit.uk 1 points 2 years ago

Censoring is stupid and people self-censoring just makes me think the user is a child who's scared of being caught saying the naughty words or is just copying what TV does as if they also have to adhere to broadcasting regulations.

A lot of people online don't seem to understand the difference between referencing a word and invoking it. For example, we're in a 4chan community, you should really expect there to be very offensive language in the posts themselves, but we're adults here and we can look at the word "retarded" without thinking that it's OK to use as a slur ourselves.