I think there's a few different contexts that get lumped together here that can lead to some confusion.

dating (both parties are obviously flirtatious) followed by getting zoned or soft rejection leading to ghosting etc

thinking it's dating, but not both sides agree, so in the zone the whole time, just didn't realize it

actually friends, then trying to make it more, getting rejected leading to awkwardness etc

these are all very different scenarios that are conflated by the term in unhelpful ways

Just some food for thought.

e: what I'm getting at is that the term is providing cover for some seriously bad behaviors in a lot of cases, but not all necessarily, and this makes is pretty sus kinda like a dog whistle