"i could care less" is commonly used in the place of "i couldn't care less" and it drives me up the wall.
Too bad, I could care less if it bothers you
Stooooop stoooop it stoooooppppp
I argued with someone on stormfront once about how "i could care less" when used sarcastically could still be some form of correct. I got mass downvoted for it.
It's generally used wrong but if said in a 2000s sitcom "I just discovered, I could care less, thank you!" laugh track way it won't translate to "I don't care" but instead "I found, I could care less than what I thought"
I care about spelling, grammar, and pronunciation generally. It's a curse.
i love it when it's on purpose in an appropriate context. classic reversal of meaning of an idiom
"i could care less"
I hate that one, not just because it's sloppy, but because it was like a battle cry of the performative militant apathy of the early 2000s.
I hate to be prescriptivist at all, but for some reason my pet peeve is mixing things up like “peek” vs “peak”, “weary” vs “wary”, and “apart of” vs “a part of”.
English is a silly language and has been imposed around the world by genocide and violence. It can’t even come up with spelling and/or pronunciation reforms to make itself more easily understood. Deeply unserious.
Honestly, prescriptivism gets a bad wrap. Sometimes it's beneficial to be loose in language, but other times precision and standardization is needed. A good mix of both creates the most effective communication and artistic language.
It's a bad rap, not wrap, since we're being prescriptivist. It's an interesting slang etymology: https://www.merriam-webster.com/grammar/usage-bad-rap-vs-bad-rep-vs-bad-wrap
Honestly, prescriptivism gets a bad wrap
It never stops bothering me when people say "comprised of", as opposed to just "comprises", or "composed of".
I try to remind myself that I'm witnessing the evolution of language in real-time, but it just annoys me that what causes language to evolve is just people misusing it.
pore/pour
Same, they mean different things!
you might be feeling peak pique if someone tries to peek at your peaks
Guys with huge backpacks standing in front of the back door of the bus waiting to get off 5 stops from now and inevitably getting in someone's way who needs to get off first when there's plenty of open seats and bars to hold onto away from the door. SIT DOWN 
Ugh just generally people who have no understanding of "people need to get on and off this train/bus regardless of when you are getting off the train" are the worst. Wait to the side of the door to let people off, then get on, then get outta the way, then move towards the door when it's your turn to get off and everyone else get the fuck outta the way so people can get on and off it IS NOT COMPLICATED 
I think I'm probably overly considerate of people around me when it comes to physical space and trying not to inconvenience them, so it generally drives me crazy when people lack self awareness in those kinds of situations. Taking up a whole sidewalk, walking down the middle of the grocery aisle, stopping in a doorway to text someone, etc. It's really not that big of a deal and I just say "excuse me" and they snap back to reality but internally I'm like "MOVE".
The worst is when you say excuse me but they're so absorbed in what they're doing that they don't even acknowledge your presence. And then you find a way by them anyway and they startle. Like bro YOU CHOSE TO BE OUT IN PUBLIC you gotta deal with the fact that other people are out there too!
Every day I restrain myself from doing extreme violence to groups of people who insist on walking side by side no matter the situation
Omg. The people who just stop when they are walking in front of me or a 2-3 person impromptu chat in the middle of a walkway or entryway. It happens all the time. I’m going to lose it.
Maybe it's just a little slow running in which case it'll never be right.
If it's slow it's going to be right some of the time too, just much less than twice a day.
Oh true, but on any given day it might not be right depending on how slow it is.
Starting a sentence with "I mean"
I don't know why it bugs me so much but it does
Someone associated the term "to be fair" with Reddit and it dropped out of my vocabulary.
I mean, same tho
I mean, I'm just autistic and don't know how to start saying words without an ez pz opener
"Um" boils my blood, particularly when it's just before a full "let me correct you with logic and reason" Redditism.
I have mostly overcome my prescriptivism, however, two that get me are: liberry (instead of library), and my biggest one is unnecessary apostrophe’s. They are everywhere.
apostrophe's
How dare
Apostrophes annoy me, but for whatever reason autocorrect preferences them over the plural form and I hate typing on my phone, so sometimes I just give up
People in media who black out/see red in order to fight. It's the butt of every joke in combat sports, but one time my friend put it in his novel and I protested during critique. As a rule of thumb, if you're doing something wrong, doing it wrong harder probably won't help.
Maybe it's just a little slow running in which case it'll never be right.
On a long enough timescale it'd match up again
I get angry at people being thrown off balance by g-forces on public transport
EDIT: never mind I just realized I get angry at people being thrown off balance and doing a shit job of recovering from it, excluding people under the influence for some reason
Baseball specific one: "ground-rule double" colloquially used almost all the time to mean "automatic double." If a batted ball bounces on the warning track and goes over an outfield wall, it's an "automatic double," that's what it's called in the rulebook and that's a universal rule regardless of what ballpark the game is played at. "Ground rules" are specific to the ballpark, like a ball getting stuck in the ivy at Wrigley Field, or the catwalks on the dome in Tampa. One of those catwalks is a ground-rule home run, but nobody ever says that. For some reason, "ground-rule double" is ubiquitous for automatic double, but actual ground-rule stuff is very rare.
"A few bad apples." 
"TO EACH THEIR OWN!"
To be fair to the latter, I think Cicero originally came up with that one.
I'd guess most people wouldn't know about the Nazi appropriation.
Most don't but they keep using it anyway because it sounds like profound wisdom when at best it's a thought terminating cliche.
Ah, yeah. I get that. I see some wisdom in it when taken beyond its current meaning of individualistic relativization BUT... to each his own, I guess.
Sorry.
Retirees wasting 15 minutes in the grocery store line buying lottery tickets, I know they are the victims in the situation but couldn't you just learn to buy crypto for online casinos and let me buy my beer in peace
I hate when someone else's pet peeve becomes your pet peeve.
seats warm from someone else sitting in them before you
describing qualities with quantities. For example: saying "This is a huge issue." Unless the issue is actually, physically large, the correct phrase would be something like "This is an important issue."
people who talk a lot without saying anything
people who don't get to the point.
getting food on my fingers. As tasty as dorito dust is, I don't like getting it on my hands.
people who don't think about their turn when it's not their turn, then take a long ass time during their turn.
people who ask questions, then don't like the answers you give. If you did not want to hear certain answers, then just make an assertion. It causes less conflict than making me answer and then rejecting that answer.
similarly, wanting me to make a choice when I have no information or influence on budget, timing, etc. If our budget is $10 and I don't know if it's $2 or $50, I have no idea what an appropriate suggestion will be.
I might be on the ace spectrum, so it bothers me when stories always have to have a love story plotline. Like two cishet people can't just be friends? Do people really just do that where they "fall in love" with someone they've known for all of 3 days?
people with too many pet peeves.
ice hitting my face while drinking out of a glass
self-aware and self-deprecating humor in ads. You're trying to sell me a product. I am already anti-capitalist and will turn your shit off if I can. If you somehow get me to watch your ad, it is not funny or cute when you don't hype your product. I'd rather you make bad jokes on accident than on purpose when trying to sell me something.
non-standard UIs.
changing the UI.
change for the sake of change
I have more but this list is already too long. TY for reading have a rare Apu:
similarly, wanting me to make a choice when I have no information or influence on budget, timing, etc. If our budget is $10 and I don't know if it's $2 or $50, I have no idea what an appropriate suggestion will be.
I was meeting a new friend the other day and we had to pick a spot. I texted, wherever you want, and she replied, anywhere you want. So I picked a normal coffee shop in a central location. She replied: what are you, rich, lol, how about the beach?
So many phrases and acronyms I'm too scared to admit. Maybe some fascist chud won't be able to doxx me but might just internet stalk me and message them to me all the time or as replies to every comment, which would drive me right off the edge. I don't even admit them to my friends for fear they will start using them or use them more just to mess with me.
But I absolutely fucking loathe when someone interrupts a movie.
My mom will ask me questions about the plot of a movie while we're watching a movie. I just like ??? We're watching the same thing you know just as much as I do?
Fuck. I hate that.
I remember my high school sweetheart would kill me with that shit. I remember times like when she would ask me, as soon as someone would come on screen, "Who is that?!" And I would ignore her and then the character would immediately introduce themselves and she'd go, "Oh." Wouldn't even matter if I never saw the movie before either, she'd still constantly ask me questions. I would roll my eyes so hard. Haha
Yeah unfortunately I can't exactly dump my mom and move on to a university parent.
That actually made me laugh.
That's not why I broke up with her but fair enough. Don't limit yourself.
Using "irregardless" when they mean "regardless".
People who use "infer" when they mean "imply" and vice versa.
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