winning 270 electoral college votes
this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2024
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I'd sweep if they let me run
i'd :vote: for you.
I'd vote for me too, that's 2 votes already. I'm grassroots organizing!
gonna put "won as many elections as hillary" on my resume
Basketball. Which might not sound like a big deal, but when you're tall like me, everyone wants you for the team. I can dribble, and I can pass (hot damn, can I pass) but I can't shoot worth a damn and the most charitable thing anyone ever said about my defensive skills is that they're "technically not illegal."
Worse too is that it's not like I'm bad at sports. They probably saw me making a decent go at baseball or soccer and thought "Even if he's bad, we can teach him." They could not.
Sorry, fellow jocks. Basketball just ain't for me.
Have you tried volleyball? Its extremely fun and being tall helps a lot.
Same issues when I played as a kid. I could get the ball to someone who could shoot, but I could not hit the fucking basket to save my life.
For me it was hockey. I tried it one year in elementary school, and couldn't figure out any of the things my teammates were doing, like crossovers and lifting the puck. I didn't go back for a second year.
But I believe that hockey is a dying sport. Equipment and ice time fees at arenas are way too expensive for working families. And climate change no longer allows for outdoor rinks where kids can learn basic skills for free. There's a good reason that basketball and soccer are picking up massively in popularity in Canada, they're both sports that kids can play casually almost year-round with minimal and relatively cheap equipment.
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poimt guard
Skateboarding. I tried learning how to Ollie for like an entire summer in highschool. I don't think I got the board off the ground once 
it's so hard!
try surfing, it's like skating but without the concrete. much better.
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Reading and writing poetry. Nothing makes me question my humanity more than seeing people be genuinely moved by poetry.
Happy for people that appreciate it, but it makes me feel like I’m an unfeeling brute more than anything else. This is a picture of me trying to understand poetry.
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My use of simile sucks like the morning sun.
Learning languages.
It just never comes together for me.
Punctuality. Putting things away after using them. Remembering where I put my phone after putting it down in front of me one second ago. Calling you on your birthday. Opening my Mail and responding to it.
Took me 25 years to recognize I had ADHD. 
On a lighter note: Chess. Hate that fucking game. Makes me feel stupid everytime I look at a board. Everything is fine and suddenly your queen is hanging and your opponent gives you a smug look, as in "did you really miss that?".
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Math 
You can't just take entirely different numbers and then put them together! That's unnatural and fails to rekon before God like Frankenstein did.
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i'm pretty bad at motivation to change my current financial situation. You know, the whole hustle culture and everything? Get more money, better your position, etc, that kind of shit.
Like I am completely content in whatever kind of shit is thrown at me and don't feel any need to "better" it, as long I have a comfortable bed and food. I really am just a beast that wears pants.
The only thing that has made me "progress" through life is partners, and wanting better for them. So I've made career changes for their benefit but if it was just me I could really be the embodiment of that meme of a picture of a lone chair and tv/gaming console inside an empty ass apartment that says "dudes will live like this and see nothing wrong"
dudes rock
Drawing. Even my stick figures look terrible.
Actively using a map, protractor, and compass to navigate myself around on foot in non-urban environments. Having a general gyst of being able to navigate when there's big fucking landmarks nearby to triangulation off of is one thing, but drop me in a forest in the middle of nowhere and the best I got is navigating by figuring out the direction the sun and moon are going.
Several people have told me I have "an interesting speaking pattern". lol
Videogames. As someone trying to get into it competitively, i still struggle to achieve any sort of consistency in results. It's been 2 years and i still can't beat most of my friends, much less the rest of the scene.
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posting
Arts and crafts. Like, if I have to glue something it will definitely be messy. I can't sow for shit. Can't cut things in a straight line, ever.
If the need to do this sort of thing arises, I hand it off to someone else.
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I cannot make my handwriting nice for the life of me. Legible will have to do
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Making money
i'm so bad at this.
Golf. I've played scrambles (you play as a team of like 3 and just use the best ball for the next hit) with friends and I usually tell them I'll just putt. Otherwise 9/10 balls will end up in the rough or a hazard.
Golf is evil anyway. Being bad at it counts as environmental activism
I am extremely bad at games that require precise combos and punish button mashing. Fighting games and those Platinum Games type stylistic hack and slash especially.
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I am the least flexible person I know. I try to stretch every day and I'm reasonably athletic, but I have never been able to touch my toes. I also suck at following directions and building things from directions. Why must I fail at every attempt at masonry?
Directions are a double edges blade for me. I either overthink the instructions because they're usually written by kitchen workers in my case who are fucking awful at sentence structure or writing clearly. We have one recipe in the book where the measurements are in cups, liters, and grams on one recipe. You weigh out your ingredients while inventing a thing and then the next time you do it you convert those weight measurements into something that doesn't need a scale for each ingredient so it can be done fast, when you do you try to stick to as consistent units as possible, at least don't use measurements of volume and weight in the same recipe. I'm crazy strict about how recipes should be written down. On the other end I am Mr Eyeballs, I will pour liquid and count instead of measuring it out after getting a feel for a recipe and change stuff whenever I feel like it and not bother writing it down. I'm the only one at work who knows how to make 3 things cause I've changed the recipe so much. That being said, the arrogance is entirely earned cause it's never led to things turning out wrong. For diy stuff I just kinda throw myself at it and figure it out myself, I find that more fun than doing research sometimes. I am a hilarious carpenter but I build fucking sturdy
growing mushrooms. they always fucking die
i'm a pet bad gardener too.
but I got a baby mint plant a month ago and it's getting bigger and bushy! I’m stoked, but its so hard to remember to water it every day. especially cuz sometimes I work like 16 hour days.
Roller skating and ice skating.
Every time I've tired I just fall on my ass. My ex loved both and kept trying to teach me but I kept eating it.
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I was going to say bowling too. We could have the lowest scoring game of all time!
Being quiet and remembering to be quiet when it's time to be quiet. I loud.
Chess. Probably because I just don't give a fuck.
FPS games are a big one for me too. Just absolutely dogshit, it's embarassing.
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Imagining 3d spaces or objects in my head. Makes me suck at directions as well as designing buildings in Minecraft.
getting by
i'm so bad at drawing, yet I was a graffiti writer for like 10 years.
I am really good at writing 1 word. tyvm.
I suck at playing video games. which is why I don't do it.
I suck at many sports.
I suck at being outgoing and social.
I suck at being a good person sometimes.
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