clover

Feels like homie is trying to bait me whenever he posts shit about protestors costing Harris the election with their self righteous virtue signaling or Gaza being really fucked now under Trump (“take that idiots”). When we do talk I just put it in the most neutral terms possible - shit like “if Palestine was going to impact the election, Harris should’ve addressed it idk man.” Might as well be talking to a brick wall.

It’s so fucking frustrating. I know I’m preaching to the choir here; just need a sanity check or something - do these motherfuckers not think when they’re jerking each other off over minorities and groups like Palestinians getting punished because a bunch of Americans “voted wrong?” Pretty sure everyone who still paid attention to electoralism knows Trump is “worse.” What difference does it make when Gaza was almost entirely leveled under Biden’s watch (at his fucking behest)? When Palestinians are still getting their shit kicked in in Gaza and the West Bank? I don’t fucking feel good for not voting. For not having a choice. I don’t feel like I’ve won shit or proved anything. What am I supposed to feel smug or superior about? These assholes couldn’t even give us anything in exchange for ethnic cleansing. No healthcare, no Roe, no trans anything, no debt forgiveness. Oh but my friend does say Harris’s small business plan was pretty good.

Fuck man, what do these assholes want? I’m more anxious each day. Would Harris have done anything to fix that or would she have ended up simply putting off Trumpist shit for another few years?

I can start HRT relatively soon but my partner and I have some concerns about how that could affect my sex drive when they come to see me during the holidays. I have what I can only describe as a really healthy “male” libido - I have times when I’m really horny, and when I’m not, I can usually get there pretty fast and easily. I guess you could call us both some degree of hypersexual? They’re pretty similar.

So of course I expect something there to change on HRT, but it’s really hard to imagine. As things are now, despite being generally horny, it is difficult to get off and really want it those occasions when I’m physically with my partner (it’s long distance). I chalk it up to dysphoria and being really aware of myself and my parts during sex. My partner understandably can’t help but feel bad and undesired sometimes - like they know what’s up and all; it still sucks sometimes. I think I’d be the same way.

I feel like things could be better on HRT even if it’s too early for any crazy physical changes, but it would really suck if somehow it’s worse than before. Like we can still have a good time and we’re doing pretty well with the challenges that already exist. It’s tough - I don’t really want to put this off longer but I also want to fuck and have fun, lol. Thoughts?