Feels great. The bill gives the govt. power to set encryption standards to messaging services like whatsapp, signal, facebook, instagram, etc as per what they deem to be a public threat (Yes, this means they hold power over seeing private messages and acting appropriately). Also this bill was passed in the absence of more than a 100 MP's, who were suspended. its not like Hinduvta dickriders will be effected, this applies to queers, women, lower-castes, Muslims, and any whistleblower/journalist who speaks for them. India is indeed a fascist dictatorship of the comprador-bourgeoisie, it has never been democratic, but now the government is feeling more and more free to let all of the reactionary elements of it out in the open. The education system is also riddled with propaganda, which is visible with comments under news posts understanding it in an entirely wrong way ("We are skipping China and directly heading to North Korea"- they both are more democratic than you will ever be; "Everyone should read 1984"- read revolutionary science, not bullshit anti-communist fiction, which was not even applied to a state like India. In fact Orwell would be jacking off to this if he was alive).

I feel doomerist from time to time, but obviously that won't help me. The only way to go is raising class consciousness and mobilizing people to organize. I can't do that when I'm not even there. It sucks but I'll have to keep fighting.

I'm revisiting my fav. clips from my fav piece of art of all time, Bojack Horseman. And I'm crying again. This show means so much to me, yet its so depressing. I find it so fucking funny, yet so sad, that the protagonist's life is one full of suicidal ideations and depression, and that is with a shit ton of addictions. And here I am, feeling the same without any of that, it was like I was made to feel shallow and empty, it was like my soul was never born with my body. The character is toxic to everyone and to himself, out of which his relationships are all dysfunctional. I'm not toxic, yet I feel dysfunction in my relationships and with myself, even though that may not truly be the case. I'm so fucked up. I can never convince myself that someone truly will cry like I am crying right now, for me, if I jumped. I can never convince myself that someone can selflessly love me and care for me. All that exists in my mind is a sense of extreme doubt and paranoia. All that exists in my heart is a love I give for others without any question, which I can't really receive without my own delusions intervening. I cannot receive love. I feel it but I'm not loved because I don't believe one ounce of it. I am so embarrassingly fucked up. It's so funny.

but hey, at least I have a favorite show, and I found my favorite song out of it. Let's rejoice.

https://open.spotify.com/track/4VlJbvK8wQFuIvAdMNw1Qu?si=37bc78098adb4661

There are bigger things happening right now, and this isn't particularly important to me. This is just for people who talk to me regularly/casually, want to talk to me, refer to me in conversations, or anyone vaguely interested.

Around the middle to end of last year was when I realized that the patriarchal monogamous nuclear family that capitalism pushes on everyone isn't really for me.

Lately I've felt the same for the concept of gender, gender norms and (especially) the binary that is pushed on, specifically for the purpose of division of labor between the nuclear cishet family (which effectively functions as private property) and to exploit the woman to an even greater extent.

So yeah, fuck it.

Pronouns for now are they/he. Will move on to they/them once I feel more comfortable.

Don't give this too much importance anyway, I'd rather you read Wretched of the Earth instead to get a better understanding of what's going on.

you can message me if you want a pdf.

BYE!

What the Great October Socialist Revolution did was put the power in hands of the people, and started its construction of a world without any class struggle, or a state to divide classes. It shattered the illusion of oppression being the only reality, and paved the way towards proletarian internationalism. Today is indeed one of the days that shook the world.

Lenin walks around the world

Frontiers cannot bar him

Neither barracks nor barricades impede.

Nor does barbed wire scar him.

Lenin walks around the world

Black, brown, and white receive him.

Language is no barrier.

The strangest tongues believe him.

Lenin walks around the world.

The sun sets like a scar.

Between the darkness and the dawn,

There rises a red star.

~Langston Hughes

Would you like to see partnerships of lemmygrad/hexbear with leftist internet personalities for projects and events to bring leftists together and act as a common platform for a united and more accessible internet left?

vote/comment your thoughts!