chapotraphouse

You're cutting through a tiny neighborhood street at 40 mph you deserve all of the damage you just did to your dumbass sedan.

And now we all have to hear ZZZZOOOOOM SCREEEEE SMASSHAHASHASHSAHHASH it's music to my ears

I drive a small very low to the ground car and I have never once damaged it on a speed bump because I FUCKING DRIVE CAREFULLY ON SIDE STREETS holy fuck I wish a very swift "you no longer have a front bumper" to all "this neighborhood street full of children playing is my racetrack" enjoyers

https://xcancel.com.com/UFWupdates/status/1882240130624135225

"Wow so cyberpunk! Omg a train goes through a building!!! Wow it looks like I'm at ground level but I'm actually 20 stories up!"

Fuck, as a westerner who low key wants to go to Chongqing I am now owned :/

AN ACT TO ENACT THE CONTRACEPTION BEGINS AT ERECTION ACT; TO DEFINE TERMS; TO PROVIDE THAT IT SHALL BE UNLAWFUL FOR A PERSON TO DISCHARGE GENETIC MATERIAL WITHOUT THE INTENT TO FERTILIZE AN EMBRYO; TO PROVIDE FOR CRIMINAL PENALTIES; TO PROVIDE CERTAIN EXCEPTIONS; AND FOR RELATED PURPOSES.

 BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF MISSISSIPPI:

 SECTION 1.  (1)  This section shall be known and may be cited as the "Contraception Begins at Erection Act."

 (2)  It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.

 (3)  Upon conviction of a violation of this section, a person shall be fined:

      (a)  One Thousand Dollars ($1000.00) for a first offense;
      (b)  Five Thousand Dollars ($5000.00) for a second offense; and

      (c)  Ten Thousand Dollars (10,000.00) for a third or subsequent offense.

 (4)  This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material:

      (a)  Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo; and

      (b)  Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.

 SECTION 2.  This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2025.

And then they look at me like I'm an absolute freak.

cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/6812030

I'm sure everyone's heard about Musk's salute by now but this counts as this week's essay so here you go. We go a bit into why the ADL defends him. I think it's interesting but I'm biased of course :)

The fuck. It's behind a paywall so I'll never know.

Folks, you are not going to believe who just followed me on bluesky, my money problems are over!

https://bsky.app/profile/chengcharliescheng.bsky.social

Ugh...

Nope, no Nazis on that platform whatsoever nuh uh. Totally normal like to comment ratio!

👍

FREMONT, Calif — In another masterful gambit, tech genius and renowned deadbeat dad Elon Musk announced that he has officially created a cure for the woke mind virus. The NeuralinKKK.

“The woke mind virus that has infected society is the greatest threat that humanity has ever faced,” stated Musk in a post on X – the Everything App. “This virus has turned men into women, women into men, it has killed free speech and it killed my son. But I am so proud to announce that I have officially found the cure for this terrible illness. The NeuralinKKK is a state of the art brain implant that not only protects your brain from being infected by the woke parasite but it actively fights against it.”

Today marks the deletion of beloved poster SoylentSnake.

In honor of his profile deletion, I would like to share some of my favorite posts from Snake.

On June 28th, 2023, SoylentSnake made the infamous comment: "No, catgirls and doggirls are not enemies, in fact, they are kissing, sloppy style, squishing boobs together, etc." This post marked the healing of the conflict between the governments of the PRDG (People's Republic of Dog Girls) and the UCGS (United Cat Girl Socialists). From that day on, the two governments engaged in mutual cooperation, heightening both countries industrial forces, creating new toys for the people to play with. The PRDG saw a 72% increase in headpats, a 54% increase of ead scritches, with the UCGS seeing an increase of 124% of headpats, and 43.4% increase in cuddles.

Soylent was also known for their prolific support of veganism. Soylent was constantly creating new and tasty recipes ranging from cauliflower pizza, to tofu quesdillas. These recipes have sadly been lost to time, but the recipes were believed by many. Snake also was notable for giving the world's busiest music nerd, Anthony Fantano, a vegan carrot cake recipe. This is in striking contrast to Drake sliding into Fantano's DMS to hate on him for rating his music poorly. Fantano made the carrot cake on stream on August 24, 2024, and rated it a decent 8/10. Yummy!

I would also like to remind everyone that Soylent Snake's account deletion will not be in vain. As we all know, when one hexbear poster gets banned, or in this case, deletes their account, a new poster comes up, takes the keyboard, and keeps on posting. This will ultimately be the case here, with the deletion of Soylent's account coming countless new posters to talk about vegan recipes.

Goodbye SoylentSnake, may we meet again under your alt account.