this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2025
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chapotraphouse
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my family and I were in church, eating delicious hamburgers and watching the NCIS: FBI: CIA Christmas Special on the monitors when everyones' cell phones chirped loudly with warnings from the government system:
"Brown Alert - McDonald's has been attacked. Seek shelter immediately."
my 12 year old son, Gladio 2, pulled out his machine pistol and ran screaming into the streets, indiscriminately firing into crowds of strangers. I have never been more proud of his commitment to our highest ideals.