Worse than having teeth. Imagine having two giant teeth, but they're built in there even more firmly so it sucks even worse if something goes wrong, and also they extend like half a foot or more outside your face. And you're supposed to use it to eat? Fucking awful. Look at videos of toucans trying to eat. They've spent their whole lives practicing and it still looks awkward, like they're doing their best not to fuck it up

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[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

and the beak is just for acquiring and shearing stuff, they chew their food in their tum tum with mechanical assistance from a bunch of grit and rocks in a pouch they contract against what they've swallowed, to mash it up.

I like to chew food in my mouth, tyvm, as the Lord Christ Almighty intended when he personally intelligently designed my unbeaked face.

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Your mouth is a disgusting face sphincter

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago

my mouth was modeled on the face sphincter of CHRIST.

suffer it's divine splendor