this post was submitted on 21 May 2024
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askchapo

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[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 62 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Laughing at whatever fed got the job of wading through tens of thousands of bad posts

[–] batsforpeace@hexbear.net 64 points 5 months ago (2 children)

fedposting writing a report on the latest beanis discourse

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 22 points 5 months ago

It would be great if beanis posting became the present day Louie Louie:

The following month an outraged parent wrote to Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy alleging that the lyrics of "Louie Louie" were obscene, saying, "The lyrics are so filthy that I can-not [sic] enclose them in this letter." The Federal Bureau of Investigation investigated the complaint, and looked into the various rumors of "real lyrics" that were circulating among teenagers. In June 1965, the FBI laboratory obtained a copy of the Kingsmen recording and, after 31 months of investigation, concluded that it could not be interpreted and therefore the Bureau could not find that the recording was obscene.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 15 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

beanis

"Hey, Mike - stop what you're doing for a sec."

"No." He doesn't look at Bob. He keeps tying at a fast clip.

"Just a sec. You've been working on the bear site non-stop since yesterday. I'm Bob Nobody and you're Mike Rando. You're not gonna get out of this cubicle and promoted faster if you work work yourself like a dog."

"Work produces results."

"C'mon. Just a sec."

"Fine. You have a 30 seconds." Looks at watch. "Starting... now."

"What does beanis really mean?"

"It's in the 𝙷𝚎𝚡𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝙳𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚃𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚢 𝙱-𝟻 file."

"Just tell me."

"No."

"You've already done at least 5 files for just the Bs?"

Sighing. "You haven't read a thing - have you. Not actually a question. Before you ask me any more questions - consult all the reference materials. I'm busy."

"How many files have you written for the bear site? I mean in tot—"

Angry. "Time is up." Looks away and starts typing at a fast clip again.

"Not 30 seconds. Did you sleep in the office? Where? There's no place to lie down. Did you end up sleeping right there in chair?"

He keeps typing but it's clear that he's even angrier. "A maximum of 30 is implied."

[–] radiofreeval@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Better than the fed assigned to 4tran

[–] TheDoctor@hexbear.net 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Cumtown bit: trans fed who gets /tttt/ brainworms from their OSINT assignments

[–] radiofreeval@hexbear.net 10 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Rip in peace to her poor soul (she deserved it)

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 2 points 5 months ago

Ms. Clymer, I've got a very important job for you....

[–] manuallybreathing@hexbear.net 19 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Thats why its important to have a username that will sound funny when read out in court x

[–] someone@hexbear.net 7 points 5 months ago

Or one that causes maximum confusion.