this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2024
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chapotraphouse

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https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/derek-chauvin-ex-officer-convicted-murdering-george-floyd-moved-new-pr-rcna167437

Moved to new prison. Here’s hoping he’s moved to a new prison every few months due to round robín stabbings.

Uncritical support for stab happy prisoners

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[–] gueybana@hexbear.net 78 points 10 months ago (8 children)

Holy shit he got stabbed 22 fucking times LMAOOOOOO sicko-jammin

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 52 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] gay_king_prince_charles@hexbear.net 39 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I hope they keep using things that are short and dull. Absolutely nothing should be off limits against Chauvin. And I mean nothing.

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 34 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] Breath_Of_The_Snake@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Where do you think the knife was hidden? /joke

It would be a funny bit to have a person hiding a shank up there who fastidiously sterilizes it before every stabbing though.

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 36 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That's essentially how getting shanked in prison works. The shivs aren't very large, so they just stab you in the same spot over an over again. It creates a horrendous wound that ends up looking like getting a chunk of your side scooped out with a rusty melon baller.

[–] gay_king_prince_charles@hexbear.net 33 points 10 months ago

This is the second time. He got staged 21 times in 2021.

[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] buh@hexbear.net 33 points 10 months ago (1 children)

it would be poetic if he was stabbed 846 times

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 32 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I think it'd he funnier if they pinned him down and knelt on his neck and spine for 846 minutes.

[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)

All good options, I just wish it was possible to do them all sicko-wistful

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 24 points 10 months ago

Let's make a compromise. We'll do all of them at the same time.

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 21 points 10 months ago

Good, if he were stabbed 23 times, that would have been stealing valor from Julius Caesar.

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago

certified Varg moment

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

sicko-yes

That's so awesome.