this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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all 49 comments
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[–] Currens_felis@lemmy.ml 73 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Where do I become a holy fool?

[–] realitista@lemm.ee 36 points 1 year ago

Your local church

[–] Deadeyegai@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Right? Like does it come with good benefits and a 401k match too? I mean I'm already sold but the highwayman job is quite lacking in that space. Asking for a friend

Have you seen those televangelists? They make fucking bank.

[–] jayemar@lemm.ee 67 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I didn't realize train robber was still an option

[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

An entire life of shennigans and mischief wasted, I COULDA ROBBED TRAINS?!

[–] SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Also coulda been robbing banks with an avocado, but like me you've been mooching around like a goddamn chump....

[–] Emanuel 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"All warfare is based […]"

[–] rostby@lemmy.fmhy.net 3 points 1 year ago

“Anything can be a weapon if you try hard enough”

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Why do you think public transportation is popular with the youth?

[–] redballooon@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well the goods have become larger and heavier, you'll probably need to kidnap the train before you can rob it.

[–] figaro@lemdro.id 6 points 1 year ago

I suppose I could utilize a larger train to kidnap the train

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 year ago

It was never NOT an option.

We do still have trains, don't we?

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 50 points 1 year ago (4 children)

"I wanna be TikTok when I grow up."

"You want to make content for TikTok?"

"No! I want to be the app!"

[–] Bread@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It sounds stupid, but kids are stupid. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a police car. Not a cop, the car. Sometimes dreams need to stay dreams.

[–] jarfil@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, have you ever seen a police car break any laws? Your dream was great, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[–] Bread@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago

I appreciate it, but I changed course and switched to IT. I grew up to be a server rack now and it has been great!

[–] Smokeydope@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Never give up on your dream, it might just be possible with enough cybernetics and plastic surgery! The future is now!

[–] Bread@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

I can't remember, but do the cars eat at any point? What do they eat?

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

As a young boy I dreamed of being a baseball.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] pedro@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago
[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"I want children to be addicted to touching my body with their grubby little hands"

[–] Preciseid@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

A few Catholic priests, salivating, enters the chat.

[–] capy_bara@lemmy.world 48 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Up yours, woke moralists! We'll see who cancels who

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago

Cancellation incoming

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 47 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Just the stuff thats visible here is already more than 100% lol

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 45 points 1 year ago

Which is why you don't see "mathematician" on the list.

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Maybe some kids want multiple jobs

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No one wants two jobs, but the kids these days know they'll need it

[–] pedro@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Many kids would like to be a teacher on Monday, an astronaut on Tuesday, a veterinarian on Wednesday, ....

But I guess here the demographic is a little older than my example so it might not apply

[–] pizzahoe@lemm.ee 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Woke moralist. The destroyer of Jordan Peterson.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pretty sure that was the benzos

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Woke Moralists and Benzos handshake meme: Destroying Jordan Bitchass Peterson

[–] ZILtoid1991@kbin.social 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] capy_bara@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] ZILtoid1991@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Here's a creation of mine.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

I see. I never really got that thing. I guess I'm too old.

[–] PatFussy@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago

Real human bean

[–] virku@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I guess my toddlers aren't main stream then. One wants to be a policefiremantruck and the other a snail tamer.

[–] turbowafflz@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Snail tamer sounds like an amazing job

[–] Thranduil@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Its very dangerous. A feral snail can be more deadly than the monthy python rabbit. The tend to be cool tho

[–] OpenHammer6677@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Dang those kids can spell Beaureaoucrat