this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2025
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[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They can't say no to playing whatever super long and complicated board game I suggest.

[–] SevenSkalls@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

This one! This one!

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Aradina@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 months ago

Blood Gulch is the path to enlightenment

[–] DinosaurThussy@hexbear.net 24 points 2 months ago

I’d get burnt out and disinterested within a week a quickly be murdered and replaced by a member of my inner circle

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 20 points 2 months ago

Tell them killing billionaires and getting away with it assures you a place in heaven

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago
[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago

I'd definitely Jonestown those losers.

[–] crime@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It'd be fun for about a year, then I'd get bored of being in charge of people and try to ghost everyone

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago

So basically every religion?

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 16 points 2 months ago

Send wave after wave of drugged-up soul-berserkers slamming into the local police department

Teach them to give me a ticket for burning leaves without a permit

[–] btbt@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I’d be too lazy to maintain a cult for longer than like a week so probably not much

[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

Yeah, seems like a lot of work

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

I've always thought my personality would be a double edged sword for being a cult leader. I'm a great storyteller, but I also get bored and leave quickly

[–] 9to5@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

Have them feed me grapes while I larp as living god

[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Make them read me bedtime stories

wtf-am-i-reading niko-sleep

[–] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

They have to watch One Piece

They have to read Marx

They have to do BJJ

Do meal prep for me

$50/mo membership fee

Then they get to just chill and hang out.

[–] Gorb@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

Convince everyone to buy into my multi level marketing scheme then mysteriously vanish never to be seen again

[–] Sulv@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

We’d start a newspaper

[–] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

The unfunny joke is that I would do exactly what every other cult leader does. There is a reason cults are the way they are because that is what works. If you make it about comunism the cia kills you. If you don't let people do sex crimes in it they start their own offshoot.

That being said, that cults seem to be made by the combination of freedom from capital restraints and the fawn responce to trauma. You would think you could get a selective breeding program out of it. Just get a little weird for fun you know. Make an actually DnD party.

[–] eyyImwalkin@hexbear.net 2 points 2 months ago

ask them to give me money, and then give the money to more capable people

[–] rivan@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago

Do an Earthseed