this post was submitted on 19 Apr 2025
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chapotraphouse

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[–] Lyudmila@hexbear.net 34 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (6 children)

Several months ago, one of my local weird stores (crystals and witchy supplies) suddenly burst into flame in the middle of the night, didn't do any damage to anything outside of its store, and the local Fire Department completely slapsticked their response like a Three Stooges movie until the fire put itself out. Firefighters were slipping and sliding down the icy sidewalk and per the local news the fire truck slid away down the street with a guy on the ladder, something that shouldn't be possible.

There are scorch marks on the still-standing walls that once separated this store from its neighboring stores in the same building. Even the burning roof put itself out before it got to either of the adjacent stores. It screams of insurance fraud, but the ATF sent a bunch of arson investigators that looked into it for like 5 months, couldn't figure it out and turned it over to some other agency. Literally an actual X-file in my own back yard.

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 23 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Clearly summoned the insurance fraud daemon.

[–] Lyudmila@hexbear.net 22 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (3 children)

This actually seems to be the quiet consensus around town, that something supernatural happened. People actively cross the street instead of walking past it, nobody's bought the land, and there's no construction there unlike every single other block in town.

It's an abandoned piece of prime real estate in the dead center of a rapidly growing and expanding downtown mixed-use area, and even the local porkies and their piggies are scared shitless about it.

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 14 points 6 days ago

This sounds like a literal Scooby Doo plot.

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 7 points 6 days ago

This sounds like the opening of a Stephen King novel lol

[–] myrrh@ttrpg.network 5 points 6 days ago

...i played a call of cthulhu adventure like that...

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 17 points 6 days ago

"Aeyup there's your problem, you stored your rose jadeite next to your malachandrine and the healing energies caught fire"

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 10 points 6 days ago

Spontaneous wiccan store combustion.

Also uncritical support for insurance fraud.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 8 points 6 days ago

Heck of a warding.

[–] Meltyheartlove@hexbear.net 10 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

There are witchie supplies stores... catgirl-happy :0

[–] picklemeister@hexbear.net 7 points 6 days ago

they’re like 3/4 of the economy of Salem, MA

[–] Z_Poster365@hexbear.net 8 points 6 days ago

definitely summoned a fiery entity of some kind

[–] SovietBeerTruckOperator@hexbear.net 25 points 6 days ago (4 children)

I don't really see the need to have donuts in an Gun store. Now liquor in a gun store...

[–] 9to5@hexbear.net 15 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Vegan chocolate fountain in the Gun store

Vegan wine fountain

[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 13 points 6 days ago

It's America so it should be school supplies.

[–] WeedReference420@hexbear.net 13 points 6 days ago

Starting a gofundme for the Gun Dispensary

[–] Hathaway@lemmy.zip 5 points 6 days ago

I work in a gun store over a bar.

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 24 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Now the chuds know how I felt when the TV repair/bird store closed.

[–] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 14 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The birds were no match for the solder fumes sadness

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 12 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

The guy had filled his entire back yard and most of his house with aviaries and bird cages and kept the birds there most of the time.

Looks like he's still at it from his home/bird sanctuary

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 10 points 6 days ago

They knew their clientele.