askchapo

Orson wells sad that some kinds of shy people have a severely inflate sense of self importance. I think that is not often the case but I think that is highly illustrative of the point. If I say something poorly and make a mistake, I can just apologize and fix it. No harm no foul. Nothing I can say is that serious. It's fine.

Through the power of autism, all things are possible. Jot that down.

my dad literally has the same geopolitical/economic views as hexebear on ~~almost~~ everything

his uncles were communist too so honestly at this point he's literally a communist

Find a mic, any mic as long as it's in a public space, then go up to it and say "Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was The Devil, and the government is lying about 9/11"

Or just start saying that to strangers until you feel comfortable.

• Start with people that are close to you, that you can trust, and open up to them first.

• Do it 1-on-1 instead of facing multiple people at once.

• And show nothing but full confidence, even when they ridicule you.

I only give a leftist take on something if I can back it up with specific theory and/or some historical example. If I'm making a point, I try to ask questions that guide that person into making that point themselves or at least becoming agnostic to it before I reply. I keep things relevant to that person and whatever modes of alienation they already recognise. If academic language is necessary I'll explain it through questions about things that person has already observed, if it isn't necessary then I'll phrase things casually as two schmucks getting fucked by the same system.

It's super easy for me to talk about eco-Marxist ideas at work because they're plainly observable and can be phrased in ways that include the person I'm speaking to. To my boss it's sustainability, best practices, biocentrism, and public outreach. To a coworker it's all the little contradictions I can point out while we're working, always pitting ourselves against some larger structure or idea that I can describe the toxicity of.

"Breaking the law" to get HRT broke my ability to understand which rules I should respect and which I shouldn't, and having to work in close proximity with so many old engineers taught me that they are morons and I am better than them. Now I just do whatever, including saying whatever comes to mind since it can't be any worse than anything anyone else could say.

This might sound weird, but the way I did it was to start working out

Now that I'm in decent shape, I'm not worried about upsetting people because what are they going to do?

If they yell at me, my increased lung capacity and lowered blood pressure means I can yell louder and longer

And if they try to beat me up, I'm faster and stronger than them

I don't even give a shit about what other leftists have to say at this point (I'll uphold demcent tho).

There is a technique or art to easing into it. I find it very easy to talk about"lefty" stuff if you know what buzzwords to avoid, or alternatively, to abuse.

alcohol normally

I feel better when I do, and if it leads to shitty people no longer being in my life, I feel even better.

When I'm nervous, I remind myself that I'm going to die. So while I'm here I'm going to do everything I can to enjoy my life.

Mostly through finding not speaking my mind gets me the same crap over and over. If you speak up there's at least some kind of result, it can be negative but at least things move forward. I generally try to be clear and to the point if expressing something that could lead to conflict. Short declarative sentences and if you can phrase it in a way that makes it clear you will broker no debate you just kinda get to go off whenever. You have to know your shit well enough to stick to the point and avoid rambling. Also if there is a back and forth take note of anything the other person won't address or talks around and make them address it directly. You're not talking around the subject and they don't get to mislead you to irrelevancies. Be a straight shooter, don't mince words and don't let others derail

I reap later just like with most things in life.

stop caring as much about how people see you

i deserve to be loved like a queen casting a hypnotic spell over her land, but i accept that not everyone is down with monarchic socialism, and while some useless fuckers still have their protective amulets, not everyone is going to worship my every thought and decree

but eventually i'll get those charms to rot and break, so i try not to care too much

i'm not in community with cis white people

What's holding you back from doing it?

I am 110% in the same position. Conflict-avoidance is my first, middle, and last name and I can't even come close to overcoming it. It's actually so causing such increasingly real problems in my life that I'm thinking I need to find therapy solely to teach me how to feel able to speak what I'm thinking.

I would kill to get 1% better at expressing myself honestly. If you find success in these or any other methods, please do feel invited to share with me at least.

Like FlakesBongler, I would say a lot of what made me more comfortable expressing myself was the gym. Not quite for the same reasons though.

Working out pushes you toward discomfort, because that's where real change in the body happens. When you are regularly testing and pushing yourself past your physical boundaries, the mental benefits are really under-reported. You know yourself very well after regularly working out.

Plus, the discomfort of hundreds of pounds on your shoulders as you do squats is much greater than the discomfort of someone knowing you're a communist most of the time.

Relatedly, once you've ground yourself to dust by doing 200 kettlebell snatches in 10 minutes, you may find that whether or not someone knows you're a communist isn't the release valve you thought it was. It doesn't matter as much. Your anxiety takes on a different role in your mind.

When I was younger and not working out, I often fell into that whole "there's someone wrong on the internet" mentality. Part of me no longer being like that is maturing, I'm sure, but that maturity has to come from somewhere and I think doing as many pull-ups as possible with a 40-lbs weight vest on is honestly part of that.

Surviving all that builds confidence too. You know what it's like, as Vince Lombardi is often credited with saying, to reach "any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious."

You can probably get this type of feeling, experience and growth from other activities. Like gardening or painting. There's a lot of ways you can channel this sort of primal part of the brain. But for me as a traditional masculine guy, lifting was it.

Asperger’s.

i have no friends so socially i have nothing to lose, so i just come out and say i'm a commie and i hate america. i have no reason to care about the opinions of anybody who seriously disagrees

lol seems like some of us are basically the same person 💀

Also, by “conflict avoidant” do you mean situations that you perceive as conflict-oriented that others would see differently?