this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2025
601 points (97.5% liked)

Programmer Humor

23955 readers
1378 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 43 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] glorkon@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

No NullPointerExceptions in Kotlin.

[–] anton@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 21 minutes ago

The humble !! operator.

[–] lobut@lemmy.ca 19 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

Not a word of a lie, I saw a "segmentation fault" error in JavaScript.

Can't remember how we resolved it, but it did blow my mind.

[–] VitabytesDev@feddit.nl 1 points 14 minutes ago

I have seen a Java program I wrote terminate with SIGSEGV. I think a library was causing it.

[–] apelsin12@lemm.ee 7 points 6 hours ago

Ive also seen this, but not from js but node

[–] andioop@programming.dev 9 points 7 hours ago

I find it funny that the pufferfish blows up at its own gunshot

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 27 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Why is the crab not Rust. This is outrageous, it’s unfair

[–] d_k_bo@feddit.org 25 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

Rust would be some borrow checker compile error like

borrowed data escapes outside of associated function
argument requires that `'1` must outlive `'static`
[–] pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

rust errors are funny if you don't know rust

[–] milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 3 points 4 hours ago

News at Ten: Borrowed Data Escapes Outside of Associated Function

[–] Ephera@lemmy.ml 3 points 5 hours ago

Those also happen to be errors you'd typically run into, if you don't yet really know Rust...

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 16 points 10 hours ago

Why is openbsd the referee?

[–] ratel@mander.xyz 112 points 14 hours ago (3 children)

Labelling the crab as C is sure to ruffle some exoskeletons..

[–] 0x0@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 hour ago

Only those who lack a sense of humor.

[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 16 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

As at least one nautically themed childrens' book surely has it: C is for crab.

Coming at programming sideways feels more like a Haskell or Prolog thing, though.

[–] milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 4 points 4 hours ago

Apple is for ADA

Ball is for BASH

Crab is for C

Dog is for D

Elephant is for Ecsmascript

Fox is for F#

Goat is for Go

House is for Haskell

Igloo is for

...okay I got stuck there.

[–] Rednax@lemmy.world 7 points 13 hours ago (4 children)

I mean, at the end of the day, if you really understand your language of choice, you know that it is jusf a bunch of fancy libraries and compiler tricks of top of C. So in my mind, I'm a fully evolved programmer in a language, when I could write anything I can write in that language in C instead.

[–] umbraroze@piefed.social 3 points 2 hours ago

Or, rather, most compiled languages are just syntactic sugar on top of assembly, and that's especially true with C. (Oh, you can use curly brances and stuff for blocks? That's sure easier to read than the label mess you get with assembly.)

[–] lime@feddit.nu 15 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

only true if your language compiles to c. fortran peeps are safe.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 4 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I'm an 80's/90's BASIC bitch, so I'm still irrelevant!

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago
10 PRINT "FARTS"    
20 GOTO 10
[–] nialv7@lemmy.world 7 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

It's not what you can use that language to do - all general purpose languages are Turing Complete, so what you can do with them is exactly equal. It is about what the language will do for you. Rust compiler will stop you from writing memory unsafe code, C compiler cannot do that.

[–] qjkxbmwvz@startrek.website 4 points 11 hours ago

...are Turing Complete, so what you can do with them is exactly equal.

But they're only equal in the Turing complete sense, which (iirc) says nothing about performance or timing.

[–] Rednax@lemmy.world 3 points 10 hours ago

But how does the Rust compiler do that? What does it actually check? Could I write a compiler in C that does this check on a piece of Rust code?

C is so simplictic, that if I can write a piece of functionality in C, I must understand its inner workings fully. Not just how to use the feature, but how the feature works under the hood.

It is often pointless to actually implement the feature in C, since the feature already has a good implementation (see the Rust compiler for the memory safety). But understanding these features, and being able to mentally think about what it takes in C to implement them, is still helpfull for gaining an understanding of the feature.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 11 hours ago

I mean, yeah, most languages are turing complete.

[–] 30p87@feddit.org 71 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (2 children)

Rust: Downloading 7390327 crates...

[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 19 points 12 hours ago

I feel like Rust would be some complaint from the compiler saying that some apparently unrelated struct can't be Send/Sync for some inscrutable reason. Or something about pinning a future.

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 29 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

C trying to take the shortest path to the goal.
Would probably have won (and broken the universe), if the referee didn't exist.

[–] RobotZap10000@feddit.nl 15 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Python is being even smarter by trying to underflow the distance to the finish line.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 7 points 12 hours ago
[–] grue@lemmy.world 19 points 15 hours ago

This implies that Javascript will get moving in the correct direction once it finishes installing dependencies, but it's just going to get fucked with incorrect behavior that doesn't even have the courtesy to throw an actual error.

[–] JakenVeina@lemm.ee 21 points 16 hours ago

"npm install" in particular is getting me.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 4 points 11 hours ago

Noob should've used PNPM

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 points 12 hours ago

and then there's ruby who didn't even qualify but still would have done better than the others.

[–] Redkey@programming.dev 2 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

"NPM install" isn't going to be the direct result of a race condition in JavaScript. And while I'm not familiar with Python, I'd guess that an "Indentation error" wouldn't be one either. A missing library or syntax error that's only discovered by executing a particular branch is still just a missing library or syntax error, not a race condition.

Also, while Node.js is popular, it isn't an integral part of JavaScript in the way that the other errors are integral to their respective languages.

[–] 0x0@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 hours ago

I had to come up with a title, this was it.
It's a cartoon.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 14 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

none of these are race conditions, they're just runtime errors. python only parses code when it is about to run that block so you can absolutely get a crash from bad indentation.

in my experience, the js world's focus on developer ergonomics has absolutely yielded some insane situations where running an installed script has caused it to start downloading more dependencies. however, this has unfortunately started happening in python too lately.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 2 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

NullPointerException can be related to a race condition.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 2 points 4 hours ago

it can also not be.

[–] EffortlessEffluvium@lemm.ee 1 points 11 hours ago

Python? That’s an embarrassed GAMBAS!