God, I hate javascript so fucking much and the javascript ecosystem.
this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2025
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I think it works great. At least I'm don't have to deal with Python
I never had any issues with npm. Moved to bun nowadays and still going strong. If I want to install something, I install it, and then it works.
Setting up anything with pip however...
The only thing that sucks about npm are when package dependencies are not updated and dependency hell becomes very real, but that's not really the fault of the package manager.
Yeah, fuck virtual environments and different Python versions.
Rust is still in the locker room having an argument with their coach (borrow checker).
C++ is home sick, currently the doctor (compiler) is not sure whether it's got the flu or a terminal cancer.
terminal cancer
"I'm sorry, you've been diagnosed with :(){:|:&};:"
"You have a couple seconds to live."
The puffer fish is Bash
Yep, it's the one starting everything.
And doing nothing else. And still something manages to no be right.
Labelling the crab as C is sure to ruffle some exoskeletons..
As at least one nautically themed childrens' book surely has it: C is for crab.
Coming at programming sideways feels more like a Haskell or Prolog thing, though.
Apple is for ADA
Ball is for BASH
Crab is for C
Dog is for D
Elephant is for Ecsmascript
Fox is for F#
Goat is for Go
House is for Haskell
Igloo is for
...okay I got stuck there.
Java has Duke
Ugh, I accidentally got a fake transparent background. Oh well.
Branding fail so bad that everyone forgets that Java even has a mascot.
I thought it was a cup of coffee? A hipster barista in 90’s Memphis style illustration would be most accurate I think.
Damn, I went searching online for some examples and got nothing that was really from back then. Just shitloads of AI vaporware slop. Time to dig out my old design mags I guess.
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There are dozens of us! Millions of devices and dozens of us know about Duke!
Fun fact, Duke is released to the public. I forget in what way exactly, but Oracle freed them (him? it?).
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Rust: Downloading 7390327 crates...
Same with C and C++ libraries.
Definitely not as egregious as with rust though
Yes, but you also don't get cargo to find C/C++ libraries.
I literally never had more than 10 dependencies for any standalone program (standalone as in not dependent on a whole ecosystem like KDE)
I feel like Rust would be some complaint from the compiler saying that some apparently unrelated struct can't be Send/Sync for some inscrutable reason. Or something about pinning a future.
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Why is the crab not Rust. This is outrageous, it’s unfair
Rust would be some borrow checker compile error like
borrowed data escapes outside of associated function
argument requires that `'1` must outlive `'static`
rust errors are funny if you don't know rust
News at Ten: Borrowed Data Escapes Outside of Associated Function
Those also happen to be errors you'd typically run into, if you don't yet really know Rust...
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Not a word of a lie, I saw a "segmentation fault" error in JavaScript.
Can't remember how we resolved it, but it did blow my mind.
Technically any language runtime can end in a segmentation fault.
For some languages, in principle this shouldn't be possible, but the runtimes can have bugs and/or you are calling libraries that do some native code at some point.
Ive also seen this, but not from js but node
I have seen a Java program I wrote terminate with SIGSEGV. I think a library was causing it.
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I find it funny that the pufferfish blows up at its own gunshot
C trying to take the shortest path to the goal.
Would probably have won (and broken the universe), if the referee didn't exist.
Python is being even smarter by trying to underflow the distance to the finish line.
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Rust isn't shown because it's already completed the course
Why is openbsd the referee?
"npm install" in particular is getting me.
This implies that Javascript will get moving in the correct direction once it finishes installing dependencies, but it's just going to get fucked with incorrect behavior that doesn't even have the courtesy to throw an actual error.
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