submitted 10 months ago by Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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[-] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

I find the concept of a "divine war" so strange. Like, bro. You literally created the enemy lol. You literally know every move he's going to make. Why is there a war when you already know the exact steps to beat him? And what about the victory makes you happy? I keep saying it, but God is just Kaiba from YuGiOh. He invents the game, leads its developments, and becomes cocky whenever he defeats someone.

[-] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

jesus-cleanse sicko-satan HARDER DADDY!

[-] duane_d_bathtub@infosec.pub 8 points 10 months ago

Only the promoter wins.

[-] cryptymythy@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago

I gotta imagine it's tough to throw a decent jab with stigmata

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago

White Jesus with his lush hair.

[-] zifnab25@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago

That's not Jesus. That's AJ Styles. You can tell, because he's the pastiest-faced white boy on the block and not some short brown guy with giant pecks and a neck like a tree trunk.

[-] OgdenTO@hexbear.net 4 points 10 months ago

Seriously that Jesus is completely pec-free. No hard punches coming from that guy.

[-] CarbonConscious@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago

It's nice that they're wearing gloves for the final throwdown. Wouldn't want anybody's lil knuckies getting hurt when deciding the fate of the material realm.

[-] Crowtee_Robot@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago

Satan has the reach and the power, but Jesus has recently been seen doing grappling training with legendary wrestler Jacob, so if he can get inside those punches he has a chance to take him down. Satan's been hitting the BJJ really hard though so he's not gonna make it easy for the Son of God.