Mustard is illegal where I Iive. Possession, and especially consumption, of mustard carries the possible maximum penalty of death. All because of, what we now call, The Mustard Wars of 1473. It started as a simple trade dispute between some merchants that never really got resolved. The dispute festered for years till another slight, imagined or real no one really knows, occurred and all out war broke out. While there is much to be said about the war and warfare itself not much survived as far as why it really started. But in the end mustard was made illegal and has stayed so for centuries.

I'm not a huge mustard fan, so imagine my surprise when I tried mustard soup in the Netherlands and it was amazing. The mill where they ground the mustard was right next door. It was like a cheese soup almost. Creamy, tart, spicy. So good. All of the Dutch mustard was, including with the bitterballen.

Mouth

I usually put it on my food... Why, what do you normally use it for?

I tend to squirt an entire bottle into my mouth while sobbing uncontrollably

By fridge-light at 2am, spread on a soft corn tortilla with a sprinkle of nutritional yeast.

Why, how everyone eats it of course. I open a fresh bottle and stick a straw into it and go to town. How do you eat mustard op?

To answer seriously, mustard is either a condiment on a sandwich or could be a dipping sauce for meat, usually ham. It can be added into a vinnegrete salad dressing too.

I smear it all over my lower body where my tongue can reach, then lick it off, yelling "Who's your daddy now, bitch!" at the top of my lungs. B-52's "Love Shack" must be playing in the background.

mouth

Copiously. I have yellow, dijon, whole grain, dill pickle, and horseradish mustard in the fridge. Put it on sandwiches, add it to mac and cheese, dip stuff in it, whatever.

1. Buy it from the Polish deli down the street, usually whole grain with some white wine in the ingredients (they label this French style). Spread it on some hearty bread together with Winiary majonez and meat of choice (pastrami is great, so is kielbasa). Toast some swiss or muenster cheese on there if I've got it. Polish pickles on the side, or maybe on the sandwich.

2. Get honey mustard packets from Arby's (because stupid Marzetti apparently doesn't sell bottles anymore) and dip chicken fingers/nuggets in it.

What I should do: Join the mustard of the month club at the local cheese shop. They always have interesting varieties like curry mustard or bourbon mustard.

Use mouth, help with hands if needed good luck

With a spoon usually.

Spoon to eye. Mustard mustard mustard eye.

Orally

On hotdogs. Or pretzels. Or sausages.

With mayonnaise and honey... I make homemixed honey mustard sauce.

Heinz's crap just tastes like vinegar.

I often make some salad dressing with mustard: crushed garlic, chopped garden thyme, vinegar, oil, mustard, salt, MSG, honey/brown sugar. Put all of them into a bottle and shake it well, let it rest for two days.

I also add a bit of mustard to the potato mash, or as a condiment over hot dogs and wieners.

Mustard greens are also delicious as frittata filling. Just make sure to wilt them beforehand, otherwise you'll get scrambled eggs instead.

(I have no idea on what people use mustard for, where I live. I guess over French fries and hot dogs?)

boof it

American: Hot dogs, the sausage kind. I also use it in tuna and chicken salads.

Cold cut sandwiches almost always. Also, for those I often blend canned jalapenos, including the juice, and mayo. Makes a righteous sub sauce.

We put it in a rice bowl, grab it with both hands and drink it like when you finish a Japanese soup.

Depends on the mustard. Dijon for salad dressings, American for hot dogs and English for steak and kangaroo.

I put just a small spoonful in when I make mac and cheese. Besides an interesting flavor addition, it has something in it (lecethin?) that helps the sauce come together nice and smooth.

With my mouth.

Squeeze a third of the bottle into the trash, replace missing portion with Underwood ranches Sriracha, shake well and squirt on anything edible.

Yellow mustard on corndogs, Yellow mixed with ketchup to make "orange sauce" for burgers and hot dogs , spicy brown on polish sausage or cold-cut sandwiches.

I love mustard but I only put it on sausages and nothing else. Just like with ketchup which I only eat with french fries.

On my eggs, of course

Finnish mustard is mainly used with sausages, yule ham, and in pea soup. Yummy.

With a straw.

Burgers, hot dogs, onion rings, kielbasa, the -wursts, sweet mustard on German Pretzels; goes into several salad dressings, marinades, or things like egg salads; sandwiches, corn dogs...I'm sure there's more I just can't think of it.

Mostly English mustard on smoked salmon sandwiches. I'll also throw some in cheese bechamel sauce, as it sharpens the cheese flavour right up.

I don't like american mustard, which is basically just turmeric sauce.

there are 1000 ways to eat mustard. If I was to actually count it out, I would probably find more then 1000.

PNW USA