Working in tech support be like
this post was submitted on 17 May 2024
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Except they don't tell you that they did something different and you have to spend half an hour just figuring that out.
Yeah. You would have had to triangulate your way around to getting the information that is exactly the information that you knew already that it was.
"Sir, I need you to go to the oil that you used and check if it is non-hydrogenated or hydrogenated. It should be printed on the back of the label."
"What do you mean, I never had this problem before"
"Yes, I'm aware, they have changed the oil constitution recently. I'll be able to resolve this problem for you, I just need to know if the oil is hydrogenated or not."
"I don't see what that has to do with anything"
"Can you just check the back of the bottle, please? Then I'm sure we'll be able to get your recipe working again"
"Okay, well I didn't actually use oil, I used toothpaste because it was expired and I wanted to get rid of it"
"Aha! Okay, I understand sir. I'm glad we were able to get to the bottom of the issue you're having. So, if you make the recipe with toothpaste, it definitely won't taste the same or have a good consistency. I think if you switch back to using oil you'll find that the pancakes still taste the same as they used to"
"But I think I should be able to use toothpaste."
"Absolutely. Is there anything else I can help you with today?"
Fuck this is painfully on point. Both as someone whose worked in customer service and IT.
Flashbacks to trying to get the user to admit they unplugged the monitor
Yeah, Rule 0 of tech support is “users lie.”
Oh, you already rebooted? Okay, well maybe your power cable is loose. Go ahead and shut down for me real quick, so you can unplug that power cable and plug it back in. Great, now that you’ve power cycled your computer, the problem is fixed? Glad I could help.
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Dude, ages ago when I did tech support. A simple question like: "are the lights on your modem on?" was met with a yes. Then after an hour of troubleshooting you find out, in fact, no they weren't on the entire time and the modem was unplugged. Like, you lied, you never even checked. The real questions then become: why was the modem unplugged? Who unplugged it? What reason does one have for unplugging their modem?
@USSEthernet @Murdoc why we used to ask them if one was blinking fast or slow, it made them actually look at the modem
I just want to say, as someone who is quite tech literate, these kinds of questions are incredibly annoying to get through. I called my ISP, and they tried walking me through restarting my router when I could ping their gateway already, but not the outside world (e.g. 1.1.1.1).
But then again, I've worked tech support and have been on the other end with tech illiterate people, so I get it.
I just wish "shibboleet" was a real thing.
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Click the start button. The start button. It's on the bottom left. Yes, click it. You already clicked it? Don't click it again! You clicked it again? Okay, click it again. Now on the fly out click control panel. Wait, you clicked the start button again? Okay click it again. You know what? Fuck this shit, I quit.
I remember one call where the customer didn't know where the Start button was. I told them that it was the button on the lower left-hand corner of the screen. She said that she clicked it and everything went black. Turns out she hit the power button on her monitor.
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After you click it, the Start Menu will appear. While the Start Menu is showing, there are some icons all the way to the left, and one of them is called Control Panel. Oh, you pushed the power button and it's off now? Okay... Push the power button to turn the computer back on. You already did? You pushed it again and it powered off? Turn the computer back on please.
"Please unplug your computer and never touch it again."
I legit had the following interaction.
Me: Please close all windows you have currently opened. Costumer: Ok, one moment. leaves phone, comes back 2 minutes later. Me: It will take quite long if you are not sitting in front of your computer, can you relocate there? Costumer: I am in front of the computer, i just closed all windows just like you told me. Me: dies internally
I had another client with ADSL, asked them what modem they used: Client: "My modem is colorful and full of lights!"
seriously, tech support is funny shit if it doesn't happen to you.
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I looked for the recipe this comment was made in, and in the comments, the original author of the recipe mentions replacing whole or part of the oil with applesauce which might explain why.
This might be the most rational comment I've ever read on Lemmy.
Hats off for putting in the effort, thank you.
Yep. Applesauce can be used as a replacement for oil in cakes and some quick breads. I've done it on the rare occasion I've been short of cooking oil for a cake. Don't think I've ever swapped it in for all the oil though. It does give a bit different texture and flavor, I find it kind of pleasant myself. And youy will need to probably bake the cake for a bit longer too. YMMV based on your oven.
I personally would not use applesauce to fry in though. But perhaps Flying Squid's mother should experiment for use and they can report back to us on the results.
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The other place had something like r' I didn't have any eggs' that was all people giving 1 star reviews to recipes where they substituted Triceratops horn for chicken breast, and it didn't work well.
That sub was hilarious! So many weird substitutions and people having no idea what the ingredients do for the final result. I actually learned a lot about cooking from that sub.
That is something that often bothers me with many recipes. Often I'm confused why they are using a certain weird ingredient I don't have access to or when they have a step that I don't understand its purpose of and the recipe doesn't explain its reasoning or its reasoning doesn't make any sense. I then have to improvise without any idea if the changes I'm making will significantly impact the final result.
Only very few online recipes I see explain why they are written the way they are.
You may want to check out Baker Bettie’s Better Baking Book. It’s a book of base recipes. A base recipe is a very simple recipe which can be modified and added to relatively easily. Base recipes are popular with professional kitchens, because it gets the proportions where they need to be for the baking chemistry to work right. Then you can just add your own fluff on top of it.
What makes the Better Baking Book unique is that it’s written for beginners instead of professional kitchens, so it actually explains why you’re using certain ingredients, how you may be able to substitute those ingredients, and how differing from the recipe will affect the outcome.
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That is seriously how my mother cooked when I was a kid. The dreaded words before dinner were, "this was an experiment."
And it was always shit like this. "Well, it called for four cups of sugar, but sugar is bad for you, so I substituted potato flour."
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I was trying to build a homemade box with wood and nails, except instead of wood I used fucking Uranium, now I have cancer. DIY projects are a scam.
I wish idiots making stupid substitutions were normally that self-correcting!
You can replace SOME of the oil with applesauce. But replacing all of it (which I did find on some really shitty websites) will not work correctly.
Fat soluble flavors will be diluted by the excess water as well as not giving flour anything to bond to. Less flavor, rock hard baked good.
If you want to try using applesauce, use unsweetened applesauce and only replace (at max) 50% of the oil required for the recipe. Results may vary, I don’t see the use in lowering the fat content of a delicious baked good. I’m eating that shit full flavor, full fat, full sugar. Just eat less of it.
Outside of that tangent, the gall of this person to say “I followed the recipe exactly” when their very first sentence contradicts that completely.
full fat, full sugar
Full fat, yes, but not full sugar. We cut the sugar to like 1/3 in most recipes and it usually comes out great. Most recipes I've seen use way too much sugar.
Fat is way more filling than carbs for the same amount of calories, so don't shy away from the fat. If you load up on fat and fiber, you'll feel more satisfied on less calories, so you're much less likely to sneak a taste of that sugary treat and totally reverse all the good you've been trying to do with reducing calories.
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Satire? I feel like this has to be satire.
My dad is one of them. Always says that stuff does not matter. I once asked him if he followed the instructions closely and said yes. I did not believe him and so asked every point in the list individually. For every every instruction he told me that he didn't do that.
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This isn't as crazy as it seems. In some bread and cake recipes, you can easily replace some of the oil with applesauce and have a successful bake. I've done this with muffins and banana bread to great success.
They're still being foolish as you need some fat for most bakes to work and using apple sauce introduces more fiber, protein and water instead of fat, but it's not a totally baseless substitution.
Behavior | Reasonableneses |
|----------|-----------------------------------| | Substituting applesauce | 8/10 | | One-starring the recipe because it didn't work out | 0/10 |
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Next time, try that with your car.
Lol "I followed the instructions exactly except I had my toddler vomit into the gas tank instead of using gas. Why won't it work!? 0/5 stars."
Instructions unclear, I substituted the car with applesauce, but it failed to properly start up or support passengers boarding, ★☆☆☆☆
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Baking is a science, not an art. You want cooking for that. You can't just randomly switch shit and expect it to work. If you must substitute, do some research first and expect to have to fiddle with stuff to get things to come out tolerable.
Baking is as much of an art as cooking is. It is just much less complacent with mistakes.
As soon as you get the notion of what to mix to achieve a given result, or which technique produces another, you can start throwing things together and see what comes out.
I burned, fumbled and messed up my share of cooking/baking and I regret nothing.
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Applesauce is a totally acceptable replacement for oil right?
Supposedly, but I assume you have to be familiar with baking with applesauce, and not just read somewhere that apple sauce can replace "oil, butter, or eggs" and just shoot for the moon.
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I've heard about replacing eggs with applesauce to turn a baking recipe vegan. But the oil?
Also, if you don't want an unholy amalgamation of way too much fat and sugar, why even go for brownies?
Blood can also be used as a substitute in baking. Pretty sure it's in lieu of eggs. Not curious enough to ruin a perfectly good batch of brownies though :(
I love that your concern is the integrity of the brownies, not the sourcing of the blood.
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I guess I don't know for sure, but my vegan acquaintces say they use applesauce in brownie recipes and it fuckin slaps.
They are replacing some of the sugar with it, not the fat. I'm a fan of both normal and the applesauce variants, but you need to understand the science behind the normal ingredients before you swap them out for others. Baking is science.
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Apple Sauce is a mixture of pulp and water, what little fatty acids are available are tied up, so it does not function as an oil substitute. Oil and Water have completely different properties.
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