this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2024
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[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 145 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Everyone keeps telling me "you'll understand when you've got one"

I'm thinking that's a pretty irresponsible gamble

[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 56 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I have one. It’s a fucking lie.

[–] HappycamperNZ@lemmy.world 52 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I have (had- grew up) 3. They are cute - its a natural defense mechanism so we don't throw them in the bin when they are up at 3am for the 22nd night in a row.

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, it's true.

Honestly, I didn't even like mine, to begin with. But they grew on me. The hormones had me tolerating all the craziness that small creature put me through.

Love 'em to bits now that they've grown past that stage!

[–] iarigby@lemmy.world 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

thanks for sharing this, it’s really encouraging to know that I don’t have to feel the connection immediately

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 3 points 6 months ago

You absolutely don't have to! Parenthood is not always an instant connection. I loved my child, sure, but they were more like a needy roommate to start off. I developed the bond as we went. It eventually clicked after some months.

And remember: you always love your child– but it's okay to have times where you just sometimes don't like them. Especially good to remember during the toddler stage!

[–] casmael@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago
[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 31 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Sounds a bit like Stockholm Syndrome.

[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 29 points 6 months ago (1 children)

it kind of is, but its instinctual. you suddenly see your own childhood reflected from a new parental perspective, and you suddenly understand countless things you never did. you see yourself as part of a chain of parent/child stretching back a billion years.. you see unspeakable purpose in protecting and nurturing and loving and raising this floppy lump of screaming snot into a future lovable thing. they look like you, with the most innocent eyes, and they can not quite hold up their own head.

[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Or... that's the result of hormonal changes and the brain creating an excuse for the cognitive dissonance that results. It's an evolutionary trait to further propagation of the species, nothing more. Your mind tricking you into liking something because you created it. The human mind creates fantasies all the damned time typo cope with situations.

In a different context. Your abuser isn't that bad, they provide for you, give you a place to stay, and clearly care for you, just in their own way. Clearly they actually love you and you need to return those feelings to show your appreciation. The physical abuse is only a small punishment when you misbehave, you deserved it.

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 16 points 6 months ago (1 children)

As someone who has a child and is also a survivor of abuse: it's in very poor taste to compare babies to abusers.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 7 points 6 months ago

Yeah... I see where you're coming from, but... Just no. I'm a caregiver for my mother, and it's very similar to what others are talking about. Being responsible for someone you love can be a wonderful thing. If you don't want kids, don't have them, if you're not close to your parents, don't agree to be their caregiver. But that sort of familial love, knowing that you are doing what you can to make life as good as possible for another human is an amazing feeling, even when it's frustrating. Even if there are massive hormonal changes in parents when they have kids, which there are, it doesn't negate anything about the love they feel for their children. Babies are not manipulating you. Hormones help us form those bonds, but the bonds are real nonetheless.

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 22 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

I'll never understand since I don't want kids.

[–] casmael@lemm.ee 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)
[–] Samsy@lemmy.ml 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I think it's something genetical. Your own baby could be the most ugly of all, but you think it's the cutest.

[–] Ifera@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

Genetical in the sense that you are programmed to behave like that, not in the sense it has to be yours to prompt said response. Paternity fraud is no joke.

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 53 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Babies are not for everyone. Contrary to popular belief. Just because we can make them doesn't mean we should all have one.

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 24 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'd 100% ruin a kid's life and my own if I had to take care of one full time. They're not for me I've always known that. I'm much better suited for being the cool aunt

[–] Retrograde@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

Cool aunts are just as important

[–] Anamana@feddit.de 39 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Why are joker memes always cringe? Like no matter what you write, I just get an instant cringe feeling.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 19 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I dunno. Maybe you've never danced with the devil in the pale moon light?

[–] lost_faith@lemmy.ca 2 points 6 months ago

Do you always ask that of all your prey? Do you just like the sound of it?

[–] Sidyctism2@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 6 months ago

He also definitely doesnt want to know how i got these scars

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 37 points 6 months ago

"Relax, I don't want your baby, I already ate." - Richard the Warlock

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 28 points 6 months ago (1 children)

All baby animals are absolutely adorable, and human babies look like Winston Churchill having a sulk.

[–] dotslashme@infosec.pub 1 points 6 months ago

I totally hear butchers (The boys) voice in my head when I read that comment.

[–] whome@discuss.tchncs.de 25 points 6 months ago (2 children)

It's crazy how morphed your image of your own child is because there are cute babies, and I thought my first born was one of them. But with a bit distance I can say for sure: he wasn't. He's very handsome now though :)

[–] variants@possumpat.io 14 points 6 months ago

Haha my coworker told me the same thing, that when her baby came out and she saw her for the first time she couldn't believe how such a beautiful creature could exist, then a few days later she saw the picture and was like that's what she actually looked like?

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 11 points 6 months ago

My niece looked like a fucking gremlin. She's like 7 now and super adorable, but holy crap she was an ugly baby, hahaha.

[–] NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee 21 points 6 months ago (1 children)

"All babies look vaguely like Winston Churchill"(to absolutely brutalize a Good Omens quote).

[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

suddenly you get why Patton Oswalt looks familiar.

[–] scottywh@lemmy.world 19 points 6 months ago

This is some ugly baby propaganda

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 18 points 6 months ago (2 children)

One of the reasons I DO think babies are cute is that I can walk away when they start making noise, smelling bad, or being generally unpleasant. They’re cute because they’re not my problem!

[–] rotopenguin@infosec.pub 6 points 6 months ago

Hahaha the true joy of being an uncle!

[–] ImWaitingForRetcons@lemm.ee 6 points 6 months ago

Exactly! Same with my landlady’s cats! I can play with them if I want to, and have no obligation to feed them or anything!

[–] SuperSpecialNickname@lemmy.ml 14 points 6 months ago

l used to think that way until my best friend got a baby. I love him more than anything and find it funny whatever he does.

[–] Montagge@lemmy.zip 14 points 6 months ago

I called one of my nephews meatloaf for a long time because he kind of looked like a pink meatloaf as an infant

[–] exanime@lemmy.today 14 points 6 months ago

This belongs to "I'm 13 and this is deep" on reddit

[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 13 points 6 months ago
[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 7 points 6 months ago

I dont think Ive ever even pretended to think they are, for me children, especially babies and toddlers, give me a pretty bad case of the uncanny valley effect and look eerie and cause discomfort, as well as anxiety since Im even less sure than usual what they're going to do and dont want someone's kid getting hurt because of something I failed to notice. I dont hold it against them or hate children for it, its not their fault after all, but I do try to avoid being around them where practical.

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

They are cute like a pug is cute. I see them and it's like aw look at that lil creature it's so ugly but I love it.

[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

An ugly misshapen freak of nature that should never have been bred by humanity? Might be a little excessive for a human baby.

[–] Seasm0ke@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

They are all Lil chunks of fat with a tongue for at least the first year before they grow faces.

[–] nutomic@lemmy.ml -4 points 6 months ago

Its okay, everyone is wrong about some things.