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submitted 3 days ago by Sulvor@hexbear.net to c/news@hexbear.net

Sir, a third assassin has failed

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[-] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 87 points 3 days ago

"Huh I wonder why so many people keep trying to kill this guy. Better not change anything at all." - politicans probably

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 45 points 3 days ago

"Huh I wonder why so many people keep trying to kill this guy. Better ~~not change anything at all~~ align our platform closer to his." - ~~politicans~~ democrats probably

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[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 59 points 3 days ago

"Huh I wonder why so many people keep trying to kill this guy. Better not change anything at all."

He came forward with the truth about windmills and big renewable said axe this guy.

[-] anarcho_blinkenist@hexbear.net 36 points 3 days ago

it's a scheme by thicc-trump Big Wind

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 84 points 3 days ago

I love that he can't go out in public without the donkey of the week trying to shoot him. It's even better than an Oswald doing it competently.

[-] QuillcrestFalconer@hexbear.net 47 points 3 days ago

It would be funny if chuds get mad that people are trying to kill Trump and start trying to assassinate kamala

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 46 points 3 days ago

It's hard for me to predict the dumbest timeline. This has become such a pattern with Trump that I think there could be a genuine Stupid John Wick situation where goobers endlessly sacrifice themselves to prove to no one that they aren't like the last goober. He'll just be a donkey magnet until he dies of natural causes at the age of 120.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 25 points 3 days ago

until he dies of natural causes at the age of 120.

He'll be a formless blob of cortisol and hair medication by then, like the ending of no-mouth-must-scream

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[-] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 48 points 3 days ago

The suspect later told US media that he was a Trump supporter who bought the guns for his own safety and notified police at a checkpoint that they were in the trunk of his car. “These accusations are complete bullshit,” Miller said. “I’m an artist, I’m the last person that would cause any violence and harm to anybody.”

Yeah, there aren't any infamous examples of Right-wing artists using violence to harm people.

[-] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 19 points 3 days ago

“I’m an artist, I’m the last person that would cause any violence and harm to anybody.”

Unprecedented

[-] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 78 points 3 days ago

hitting the dice roller again and again in baldur's gate 3 and just coming up with 1 every time

[-] Sulvor@hexbear.net 35 points 3 days ago

No quick-load for these folks oooaaaaaaauhhh

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 76 points 3 days ago

I actually started laughing when I saw the headline.

[-] plinky@hexbear.net 68 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

on trillbillies they called it "always something with this guy"

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 54 points 3 days ago

on trillbillies they called it "always something with this guy", i recall that phrase a lot with trump news lately

Can you not get shot at...FOR FIVE MINUTES?!

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[-] StalinStan@hexbear.net 49 points 3 days ago

This has to be a psyop. It can't be that hard.

[-] MaoTheLawn@hexbear.net 15 points 2 days ago

hexbears I know it's tempting but it's not worth it to prove that hexbear was right once again

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[-] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 23 points 3 days ago

What's the ETA on Freedom of Information Act requests? Can we ask for files yet about the GOP using its stooges to try and eliminate Trump because they want to run Joe Biden in his place?

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[-] LigOleTiberal@hexbear.net 55 points 3 days ago

the deep state aren't sending their best, folks trump-enlightened

[-] plinky@hexbear.net 65 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

The suspect, identified as Vem Miller

Not a real name

Bianco said Miller considers himself a so-called sovereign citizen, a group of people who do not believe they are subject to any government statutes unless they consent to them. Bianco said Miller’s identity card was enough to raise suspicion with local rally security. “They were different enough to cause the deputies alarm,”

Not a real country, stg. Did he print it on fucking inkjet printer without golden thread or whatever they believe

Bianco also said the FBI is questioning another man after bomb-detecting dogs “repeatedly” identified him as possibly dangerous. That man was not allowed in the rally, Bianco said.

Cant have shit in usa

[-] KobaCumTribute@hexbear.net 81 points 3 days ago

First a blackpilled groyper who just wanted to be famous and also die, then a NAFO freak, now a sovereign citizen? It's like he's going for a niche reactionary white guy BINGO. What's the next one gonna be? An extremely divorced guy whose personality is filming himself going on racist rants while driving around in his truck? An Evangelical wearing Chick Tracts like a Warhammer character wears scraps of scripture?

[-] buh@hexbear.net 69 points 3 days ago

4chan weeb who tries to do it with a katana and throwing stars timmy-pray

[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 55 points 3 days ago

Ok but imagine if they were the one to succeed lmao

[-] Sulvor@hexbear.net 47 points 3 days ago

making Jojo references as theyre shot by secret service

[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 26 points 3 days ago

We will also accept Naruto-running away from the Secret Service.

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[-] plinky@hexbear.net 56 points 3 days ago

Jet-ski dealer who escaped prison after being arrested over 6th january ~~shenanigans~~ coup attemptagony-4horsemen

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[-] nightshade@hexbear.net 47 points 3 days ago

Getting revenge after his mother wasted all of their savings on the Trump NFTs.

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 49 points 3 days ago

White guy who's a black hebrew israelite

[-] DengistDonnieDarko@hexbear.net 46 points 3 days ago

An Evangelical wearing Chick Tracts like a Warhammer character wears scraps of scripture

babe wake up, new "world's best cosplay idea" just dropped

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[-] mushroom@hexbear.net 28 points 3 days ago

guy who thinks that trump won the 2020 election and has been shadow governing ever since and that this asshole running in 2024 is obviously a CIA body double since trump would not be constitutionally allowed to have a third term

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[-] anarcho_blinkenist@hexbear.net 30 points 3 days ago
The suspect, identified as Vem Miller

Not a real name

Short for Vemhinkular Mailmslaughller

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[-] CredibleBattery@hexbear.net 49 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

i gues the third time is uhhh ......not the charm?

trump-anguish ah well, nevertheless

[-] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 34 points 3 days ago

Fucking stole my line. Maybe the third person who actually gets a shot out is the charm

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[-] the_itsb@hexbear.net 54 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

isn't this the fourth one?

  • Pennsylvania dude who was killed
  • Florida dude who hid in the bushes
  • Michigan dude strutting around talking about his (imaginary) C4

or does Mr Michigan not actually count for some reason I missed hearing about?

[-] Inui@hexbear.net 55 points 3 days ago

He's gonna match Castro for number of attempted assassinations if he keeps it up.

[-] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 42 points 3 days ago

First as farce second as tragedy.

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[-] Sulvor@hexbear.net 38 points 3 days ago

Lol guess I'm losing count

[-] DivineChaos100@hexbear.net 52 points 3 days ago

Well, he needs to be lucky every time.

[-] AmericaDeserved711@hexbear.net 41 points 3 days ago

the first doofus fucked it up for everyone, now security is too tight. sad

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[-] WIIHAPPYFEW@hexbear.net 34 points 3 days ago

yamagami wouldve found a way to get it through. Amateur hour over here smh

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 52 points 3 days ago

Something something only need to get lucky once

[-] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 36 points 3 days ago

Just a shame Maggie got lucky every time.

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[-] buh@hexbear.net 39 points 3 days ago

Commiefornia once again trampling on the 2nd amendment 😒

[-] adultswim_antifa@hexbear.net 30 points 3 days ago

Can't say I'm surprised shrug-outta-hecks

[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 38 points 3 days ago
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this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2024
157 points (100.0% liked)

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