I'm an alpha male: barely able to keep myself running and likely to completely break down if I encounter something I'm not prepared to deal with.

It makes more sense when we assume it's software development terminology instead. Alpha means the software is immature and full of issues.

I am a release candidate male.

Imagine if phrenology caught on as the latest pop-culture dipshit trend.

"My bumpy skull means I'm preternaturally predisposed to be polygamous and misogynist, and I'm just looking for a girl who has a compatible set of head bumps."

"If you can't handle me at my alimentivenest, you don't deserve me at my inhabitivenest."

1. languages evolve, and the origin is nothing more than a curio today. People use the term "alpha" to mean a thing that exists in humans, even if it never did in wolves.
2. this thing is called by the rest of the population "being and asshole" and as such i find the self identification of those people very usefull and time saving.

To be more precise, Shenkel's work was discredited by the collective efforts of numerous scientists studying wolf behaviour. Probably the most notable of these was David Mech. His book "The Wolf" was based on Shenkel's work, and his own research on wolves in captivity, and was really the work that popularized the "alpha" nonsense in the public mind.

After numerous studies of wolves in the wild failed to bear out these conclusions, Mech later concluded that his work was wrong, and got The Wolf removed from publication.

As a lambda male, this doesn't faze me at all.

Just remember:

An alpha release is unfit for public use, contains bugs, is untested, unrefined, and is likely to crash and may cause system wide issues.

An alpha is the first step, the very basic of basics, an infant in terms of development.

If anything, be an Omega man.

Peter Gibson, the guy who discovered non-celiac gluten sensitivity, retracted his own study a few years later, but it had already become a fad diet, so it just stuck. That being said, there have been some studies that seem to confirm its existence, but the evidence is pretty thin. (To be clear, celiac disease and wheat allergies are 100% proven and can be reliably tested for).

Screw alpha males, I'm an alpha woman with a thing for omega soft guys. 🥰

Don't "alpha males", as they describe themselves, typically prefer submissive women?

I'm an alpha male. If you study me in captivity I will display downright unnatural behavior.

Rudolph Schenkel (yes really)

What? What is weird about that name? Maybe I'm too German native speaker to get this.

If you were a (regressive, anti-science) female that believed this, wouldn't you have to be a "beta" wolf in this fictional world?

The dude from the Scorpions also studies wolves?? When he's not rocking you like a hurricane?

No wait, that's Rudolf Schenker.

Alpha, beta, sigma, all just types of prison bitch. Scientifically speaking.

the study is so stupid for anyone who takes it seriously. I however enjoy the tag it birthed on Ao3