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submitted 1 hour ago by LeylaLove@hexbear.net to c/music@hexbear.net

One of my favorite Slowdive songs. I love Slowdive for many different moods. While their most popular album, "Souvlaki" focuses more on the pop side of dream pop that creates insanely catchy yet dissociative sounds, the album this is from "Pygmalion" focuses more on the dream side of dream pop. The intro for the album, "Rutti" is a very progressive track, having so many strange time signatures popped on top of each other. The album is generally more psychedelic than dissociative with its constantly changing rhythms. I love Slowdive.

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 4 points 2 hours ago

I'm playing Mario Kart 8 because I'm autistic for Nintendo. Glad Borderlands 3 is good gameplay wise, it sounds like a fun time!

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Like holy shit, he was truly at a point in the grift that it was more comedic than anything. He just kept fucking going at every point, every time I read about something he said I laughed out loud. He was just so comically evil and transparent about it. Why can't we have any more funny grifters like him?

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 4 points 5 hours ago

SMH I fucking hate being on anti-psychotics. I'm so fucking hungry, but now that I'm not taking caffeine anymore I have no energy to cook. I have money for food, but absolutely refuse to spend that much on food

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 35 points 5 hours ago

Google has managed to become more and more useless year after year. Are there any search engines that still work as expected?

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 6 points 5 hours ago

It all pretty much means the same thing, just at different frequencies

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 9 points 5 hours ago

I feel that. I often feel like the only reason I like the jobs that I do is because they're repetitive and somewhat unimportant. I spend my time wasted on shit that makes me money now, and I talk about how horrible it is for me at group everyday

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 1 points 17 hours ago

Because there are a lot of things that I did have to try to like and it was worth it for many of them. I said that in the post.

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 2 points 1 day ago

I feel like you're getting me mixed up with someone else, I'm more of a dream pop bitch most days and typically like slower music

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This is one of those posts where I don't mean for it to be bait whatsoever, I am being totally genuine here, but with the reaction I've gotten for stating this opinion throughout my life, I figured I'd start with thatI do not like Pearl Jam at all, save for a song or two I think are good, I like the song Black quite a bit and I heard another song I can't remember the name of once that I thought was alright. But every single time I try to listen to this band's discography, I hate it. At one point, I wanted to like Pearl Jam and listened to Ten a ton to try to acclimate myself to the album like I've done with many others I had an initial sour taste to. I thought it was annoying. If every band from the 90s is Red Hot Chili Peppers but more or less annoying on a spectrum, Pearl Jam is on the lower end of that spectrum. However, I still find Pearl Jam to be annoying and uninspiring.

Am I just too young to understand them? There are a lot of vocalists I don't understand that I like because of how they use their voice as an instrument, but I find how Vedder using his vocals absolutely indecipherable. Someone will hear some lyrics from him and be like "damn I felt that" when I didn't understand a goddamn word Vedder had said. I've listened to a lot of grunge, really love The Smashing Pumpkins and Dinosaur Jr. the most because I'm also a lover of dream pop and shoegaze. I should be okay with Veddar having indecipherable vocals, it just seems like they way he does it is stupid.

If you guys have any suggestions for Pearl Jam songs you think I'll like, feel free to comment them, I'm not going to just be a shithead. I'd also appreciate hearing what you guys specifically appreciate about the group or the song you comment. I feel like I'm missing so much context with how many people I like also being Pearl Jam fans, but maybe I'm not missing anything and other people also agree with how annoying they are?

help hexbear

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 3 points 3 days ago

That'd be dextro

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago

I'm a basic bitch, I only ever listened to Disintegration

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 8 points 3 days ago

Yeah I'm feeling a bit better, got home and smoked some weed and that's really chilled things out

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago

Glad to hear you're doing better!

meow-hug

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 18 points 4 days ago

Well I had a seizure in the middle of front of house at my job, everybody was really nice about everything. The EMS that showed up were firefighters that let me take an Uber instead because I seemed pretty stable

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submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by LeylaLove@hexbear.net to c/neurodiverse@hexbear.net

Hey, I'm Leyla, moderator of /c/drugs and very knowledgeable on shit people put into their bodies. Someone the other day made a post questioning if supplements actually do anything. I think this is a very good question, there's a lot of marketing BS behind vitamins and minerals, it's difficult to separate the useful from the useless (and if it's useless, it's probably harmful in some ways). While there is a lot of marketing that deludes information, some supplements and vitamins are still quite helpful and worth investing in. The ones that are worth it are normally pretty cheap too. I'll order these from most universally applicable to least universally applicable, meaning the stuff on the top will probably apply to you, while the stuff at the bottom will be for more specific issues. Obviously I'll specify the issues in the paragraphs. Also, while I will provide sources for what I say, I will say that a lot of this is lived experience.

Vitamin B12

In my opinion, Vitamin B12 is the most important thing you should go pick up. You can get a month or two's supply at the dollar store, and is the one I have personally seen make the most difference in both myself and people around me. Here's an abstract that mentions the side effects of B12 deficiency. To put it into more understandable words, B12 deficiency is known to cause

  • Apathy/Depression

  • Irritability

  • Dissociation

  • Insomnia

  • Low energy

  • Visual and auditory hallucinations

  • Paranoid delusions

  • Failing memory

  • There's also evidence that people with proper B12 supply in their body have lower rates of Alzheimers.

B12 deficiency has REALLY major side effects. This is especially true if you're a drinker or drug user, as most drugs (alcohol is a drug) run through B12 like crazy. However I know someone who is on the spectrum and fully straight edge (no drugs or alcohol besides caffeine pills), whose entire life and personality turned around after getting on B12. To be clear, I'm NOT saying B12 deficiency is sole cause of your issues in neurodivergence, but what I am saying is that B12 deficiency is enough to make those issues feel impossible to work through. Taking B12 regularly has reduced the amount I dissociate, I have way more energy and focus throughout the day, and my symptoms of schizophrenia have greatly improved. B12 didn't "cure" me being schizophrenic and autistic, I am who I am. But the effects of B12 deficiency were definitely weighing on me before I got back on it. If you only decide to pick up one thing from this guide, it should be this.

Edit: @LaGG_3@hexbear.net left a comment suggesting that vegans take extra care to take B12, as the diet is apparently low in B12. I'm not vegan so I can't speak from personal experience, but everything I look into seems to support this claim. If you question if you should take B12, the answer is you probably should. Worse case scenario, you just piss it out. Like I said, this isn't going to cure your depression and dissociation, but if you're struggling with those B12 certainly won't hurt.

@ReadFanon@hexbear.net wanted to add that if you're a whippit (nitrous) person, you extra need to be taking this or risk giving yourself MS via B12 deficiency. Seriously, drugs/alcohol users, take B12. I'm going back and adding this into every harm reduction guide I write because it's that important.

Magnesium

This is another one that's fairly cheap if you get the right one. Magnesium Oxide is dirt cheap and can be found at most dollar stores. If not, it's usually around $4 at grocery store pharmacies. Here's an NIH link on magnesium. To summarize the important parts of the link, magnesium deficiency is particularly common amongst

  • People with GI issues like Chron's or Celiacs (high comorbidity with neurodivergence)
  • People with diabetes
  • People who are chronic drinkers/drug users
  • Old people

The effects of magnesium deficiency are much less major than B12 deficiency, but still affect neurodivergent folk quite a bit. Chronic magnesium deficiency can cause major issues, but for the most part magnesium deficiency just makes you feel a baseline of sick with symptoms such as nausea/vomiting, and muscle weakness/fatigue. Full list of possible symptoms are as followed, with some marked as only being chronic issues

  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Low apetite
  • Muscle tension and weakness
  • Hypertension (high blood pressure, chronic issue)
  • People with chronically low magnesium have a higher rate of developing type 2 diabetes
  • People with migraine issues will have their issues made worse by magnesium deficiency

This isn't going to help mental issues directly, but it will help deal with physical symptoms that contribute to issues such as anxiety or irritability. The best thing I've learned going to AA meetings is ASPHALT (Anxious, stimulated, pain, hungry, angry, lonely, tired), an abbreviation that helps to check in on your physical and mental needs before you make any decisions. Magnesium helps quite a bit with the physical side of that list, it's also a CNS depressant so it can also help with anxiety, albeit not a silver bullet. Overall, if you're dealing with a lot of physical symptoms of anxiety such as a weak stomach or being shaky all the time, you should try magnesium.

One thing I will add to this is that other forms of magnesium are worth looking into. Personally, I prefer magnesium citrate, it seems to do better as a muscle relaxer. My B12 friend from the previous section loves magnesium taurate and vouches for that. Oxide is the cheapest pills you can get, but if you're really strapped for cash, I still haven't found a reason that unflavored/unscented epsom salt (straight magnesium) can't just be eaten. Edit: @ReadFanon@hexbear.net also wanted to mention that if you buy from local shops, you can buy the food grade stuff for real cheap, and that's safer than buying stuff for baths.

Vitamin D

The sun vitamin! Honestly we're on Hexbear, I could put this at the top of the list because of how little some of us go outside lol. Personally, I actually get very little from Vitamin D, but I know people that it did work quite well for. I'm probably able to absorb enough Vitamin D through the sun, but as I'll go into in the edit section, I'm not the rule. Vitamin D deficiency is known to cause

  • Depression
  • Fatigue
  • Bone pain
  • Muscle weakness/cramps

Most people I see taking Vitamin D are doing so as a supplement for depression, and I've seen it work for a few. Now personally? I still needed to get on an SSRI for my own mental health, it wasn't a silver bullet for depression. However, I did find that it helped quite a bit with fatigue and bone pain. Temporarily taking Vitamin D until I had the energy to go touch grass and get sunlight was helpful. This is one that I consider less important, but it certainly didn't hurt anything when I picked it up. The only reason I'm ranking it higher than some of the other solutions I'm about to list is because it's cheaper, and I've seen more testimony supporting it than other solutions

EDIT: @ReadFanon@hexbear.net has posted new information that makes part of what I said about Vitamin D inaccurate. Originally, I said if you get enough sun light during the day, you're probably fine, but ReadFanon provided an article that puts that into question. Like I said, I try to keep my posts as focused on my personal experience as possible, but I'm totally open to evidence that I'm wrong and will update my post accordingly. If you suffer from any of these symptoms, Vitamin D is cheap and worth giving a shot

Their specific comment because it's worth adding

I'm going to be a dissenting opinion on this based on this study and because it's my pet theory that the RDI for Vitamin D is lower than it should be.

If you're on a restricted diet/veg and you don't get a daily intake of Vitamin D rich/fortified foods then I'd strongly encourage you to consider supplementing this. Also kids - if you have kids then please supplement their Vitamin D intake because essentially it's understood that a lack of Vitamin D especially during childhood development is a major factor for developing multiple sclerosis later in life. A few dollars of prevention can save a ton of complications down the track.

L-theanine

This is the first weird one on this list, but I'm sure that the L-theanine users on this board can chime in and support it. L-theanine is the closest thing you can get to an anti-anxiety over the counter. This is the most expensive supplement on this list so far, but it's one that I can wholeheartedly recommend. It doesn't get you high, it just makes you less anxious and more relaxed. It's one of amino acids found in teas that make tea such a calming thing. If you're already a daily tea drinker, getting L-theanine might be redundant, but I personally prefer getting my L-theanine without caffeine. It's also helpful for sleep.

Edit: @Assian_Candor@hexbear.net gave some good advice on L-theanine, specifically on mixing it with caffeine. Comrade specifically suggests

Humble caffeine is missing from your list and is probably the most powerful OTC nootropic out there and has been a godsend for dealing with undiagnosed ADHD (one of these days I will work up the will to fill out the paperwork for testing .. I swear). Particularly when stacked with l-theanine at 1:2, which gives all the focus with none of the jitters. I would recommend taking l theanine standalone any time caffeine is ingested. If you have morning coffee and road rage on the way to work this advice is tailor made for you. 100/200 Combo pills are available out there for around 30c per dose

NAC

NAC is my most loaded suggestion here. For example, if you're a heavy drinker, don't even bother with it, it can make alcohol worse on your liver. But as someone who self medicated my neurodivergent traits with alcohol, downers, and cigs for a long time, NAC is insanely helpful for being off them. First off since I mentioned it, it helps quite a bit with the voice of addiction for cigs, alcohol and gabapentinoids. I don't find it helpful for other vices, but it's life saving for those addictions. It also helps quite a bit with my nail biting. NAC is chemically the closest thing to an actual downer on this list. It works to regulate glutemate (one of the downer parts of your brain) production by helping create other amino acids in your body that regulate it. This is especially good if you're recovering from long term downer use, such as getting off benzodiazapines or gabapentinoids. However, there is evidence that it's also helpful to people with schizophrenia and OCD separate from any previous drug use. If you self medicate with downers, I would definitely recommend doing more research into NAC, or you can leave a comment here with a question about it and I'll research it for you.

Conclusion

As always with my posts like these, if you have any questions, leave them in the comments. If I know the answer, I'll respond as soon as I see it, if I don't know the answer I'll research it and give you some sources to go along with it. I generally try to stick with my lived experience for answers though. There are a lot of supplements that are BS, and there are probably more that help that I didn't put in this list, so if you have anything you'd add, comment it and I'll edit the post to add it in <3

This can absolutely be done!

I'd strongly encourage people to veer towards Epsom salts that you buy from a homebrew shop or for tofu making as these will definitely be unscented but more importantly they will be food grade by necessity. I can get 9oz of food grade magnesium for $4 here and everything is expensive where I live. Sure I can get lower grade magnesium for $1.50/9oz but 250g (9oz) goes a long way when you're probably taking less than 0.5g a day; a 250g supply will last you in the vicinity of two years. Best to spend an extra couple of dollars here if you can spare it.

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submitted 5 days ago by LeylaLove@hexbear.net to c/memes@hexbear.net
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submitted 5 days ago by LeylaLove@hexbear.net to c/memes@hexbear.net
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I'm looking into starting DIY, I really just can't wait any longer. However, I am absolutely terrified of needles. I won't be able to shoot myself up with it. I'm looking into the forms of estrogen, and it appears that I can buy the form used for estradiol pills. But I'm finding very little information on DIY that isn't focused on injections. I'm thinking about making a water solution and just taking it out of a dropper, but I know I'd need a preservative to keep it safe for a long time.

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submitted 1 week ago by LeylaLove@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

Yeah, no drinking just high on life but goddamn this is shit that I wish I did when I was drunk. I have been a complete fucking menace to the asshole drivers I deal with as a pedestrian this week. I live in a very car dependant area, and very frequently get verbally harassed or almost ran over. Normally I just shrug it off because I just don't want to care, but now it's like I have to react. In the first kitchen I ever worked at, there was a game of just throwing shit. It was a competition to see who could throw the most accurate throw. The best one was a line cook threw a fry into my shirt pocket from 30 feet away while I wasn't even paying attention. So I've been training how to throw quickly and accurately like my ability to slack at work depended on it.

Was walking to the convenience store the other day for some pouches and someone called me the f slur. At the exact same time, I found a block of wood that had been littered onto the sidewalk, so I threw it at their back window. Yesterday, an asshole was honking and screaming for someone in front of her to turn on a red while I was trying to cross. So I threw a few fries from the dinner I was bringing home into her window. What does this achieve? Nothing really, but it feels really good to throw things at assholes. Today some asshole in a BMW almost hit me while I was crossing the street, and I seriously regret having nothing good to throw.

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submitted 2 weeks ago by LeylaLove@hexbear.net to c/music@hexbear.net
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LeylaLove

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