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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by kristina@hexbear.net to c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net

Hey folks, the results are in and the vast majority of active Hexbear users say they are not cishet! hexbear-pride

This survey had the same limitations of our previous transgender survey. This means we do not have the tech to make this survey more accurate through other means (more questions, more options, negative/positive answering, anonymous answering, etc). However, we do have a good sampling of the active userbase (about 1/3rd of daily active users answered) and combined with the transgender poll, we can conclude that Hexbear is an overwhelmingly queer instance that is proud of stating its queerness publicly.

You can see the graphs of the previous transgender survey here:


You can find the raw (public) data of the survey here. Feel free to audit my numbers and make sure I didn't hallucinate anything!

The total tally was

Yes = 114 
No = 195 
Unsure = 30 
Total = 339 

A number of people did not follow instructions properly, and I put them into the category that made sense based on the information they provided.

A number of people used the dean-malice emote which was not in the set of emojis I provided for responses. Most were merged into yes, unless they stated they were queer otherwise.

This survey is a little less complex than the last one, I kept it short and sweet and did not tally the pronouns.

Both surveys were done over three days and were pinned on the front page.


P.S. Thanks @ComradeEd@lemmygrad.ml for helping make this a bit quicker with your code here.

I hope you all have as much fun with this information as I did and I hope you all have a great Pride Month cat-trans

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What about puberty? (hexbear.net)
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it's definitely also out wherever you get movies illicitly, so you can watch it for free wherever you are. now there's no excuse not to watch it, for all the reasons i laid out in this post. great movie about drowning in dysphoria and suffocating in the closet

link

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Like i have little interest in changing presentation and definitly no interest in hormones, but i do have some degree of discomfort with the concept of masculinity

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fun facts: after double checking that first post, i actually realized i was trans about 15 hours after I posted that lmao

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submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by SnowySkyes@hexbear.net to c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net

down with cis

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hmmmm (hexbear.net)
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submitted 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) by pooh@hexbear.net to c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net

apologies if repost

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After all, the chances of any two people happening to both have a non-binary nibling or pibling or sibling or parent or child is small, but the chances of any two people happening to have any sort of non-binary relative at all is considerably higher, which would hypothetically make it much easier for a unified term for "non-binary relative" to spread

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So, I'm not publicly out, and I can pass either way (except voice of friggin course), and I am attending a wedding as a guest soon. The families are white, bougie, mid western and maybe conservative-ish. The other side is some shade of middle eastern, conservative, Muslim and Arab influences (I don't know the families at all). I have no desire to draw attention so I'm going to go in boy-mode, but I also don't want to feel like shit the whole time. Anyone ever find a good way to balance things without firing up the dysphoria into overdrive? I would love to be in a nice sun dress of course, but it ain't happening. I have some mens suits and plenty of menswear formal-ish attire that I can work with. Anyway, anyone got any thoughts?

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"Cis am I, ma! [sic]"

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:pleading_face: (hexbear.net)
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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by pooh@hexbear.net to c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net
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I've identified as non-binary without a microlabel for a long time. I didn't really have a way to understand just how I experienced my non-binary identity. A long time ago, I was questioning which microlabel worked best for me, but I just couldn't find an answer back then. It seemed like the descriptions of none of them were truly relatable, so I just went with "non-binary" more broadly and stopped looking into it at that point.

Fast forward to yesterday, and I was having a talk with my partner about gender. Because she is cis, she didn't relate to a lot of what I was saying, but I realized that I don't see gender in having this discussion. When I say "I don't see gender," I'm not just talking about in myself or my partners (I am pan, so it fits), but I have a hard time perceiving gender in anyone or anything, at least in the way that most people would do. Gender is insanely irrelevant to my mind and operating in this world. Now, that's not to say I don't look at someone who clearly "passes" as a man and don't know how to tie the label of "man" to them, but there isn't as much substance to how I perceive these people that I'd think most people would have. It feels more objective and without personal feelings to what I understand a "man" to be because I don't have a personal understanding of what gender manifests as much as I have an objective understanding of what it manifests as.

It's very hard to word this feeling properly, but I noticed this became far more coherent to me after I read The Gender Accelerationist Manifesto (TGAM) by Vikky Storm and Eme Flores. I feel like this cleaned up a lot of how I view gender as a whole and a concept, not just me personally, but that indirectly led to me understanding more about my own sense of gender, and my own sense of gender is effectively none.

What I'm saying is that I'm agender.


I always felt like my feelings on gender as a concept made me a weirdo, especially when I learned how to process it better after reading TGAM, but for some reason, I never truly connected the two dots until after talking to my partner about it. I really more or less give her credit for helping me come to this realization because she is the only person I could've felt this comfortable talking to about these kinds of feelings on gender at the moment, even though she is cisgender and definitely doesn't experience or perceive gender the way I do. She specifically asked me, "Would you consider yourself agender?", while we were talking about these things, and at the time, I said "No, I wouldn't use that term," but it got me thinking much afterwards, and I talked to her about it more in detail and accepted it as a label for myself yesterday, June 6.

Before reading TGAM, I used to say things like "Oh, I have a gender, but I'm not sure how to describe it, so I'll just call it the broad term of non-binary." However, I also look back and I realize that I didn't understand what "gender" was itself. my views were still somewhat medicalist in nature despite me being non-binary, where I interpreted my gender as this very fixed and rigid particular thing rooted in reality rather than a product of the construct of gender that humanity has set up. This seemed clear to me especially since I have dysphoria that seemed so real and daunting, so I thought I had to make sense of my gender being something rather than nothing.

Well, it is nothing. And the result of this? I feel more liberated in a way. I feel like my uneasy feelings of not knowing how to understand my gender got far more unscrambled. Sometimes, having a common word to relate to is helpful in letting people know that they're not alone in what they experience. It just so happened that "agender" is that word to make me feel more peace with my sense of gender.

BTW, this actually adequately explained to me why I'm comfortable going by any and all pronouns. For some reason, I had the essentialist mindset that "Going by any and all pronouns is the opposite of being agender!" that I think messed with my view of me being agender, but the irony is that I don't even see gender in words like "he," "she," "they," or "it," at all, so it ended up making sense for me being agender in the end.

Fitting discovery for pride month!

flag-agender-pride hexbear-agender flag-agender-pride

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When i first read that passage, i seriously wondered if somebody had reformatted a Halimede tweet. I don't want to dunk on Serrano too much here, i've taken a lot of good input out of her works, but this is one of her takes that has aged poorly. Like, seriously, i am so fed up with that view of being trans. The one that always, always without fail, centers suffering and pain and misery, that can only frame our joy and our thriving in contrast to the damage that has been inflicted on us, the one that can never let the past rest.

I am not like this. And it's beginning to become a problem.

You see, i like being in community with other trans people. I'm at home there, i've made friends there, found lovers there. It's where i belong. As long as i stay within my own bubble. As soon as i step out of it, i immediately get bombarded with unsolicited trauma dumps, dysphoriaposts out of a 4chan hellhole and a trainload full of internalized transphobia. Everything is a trigger for me. I cannot safely navigate most trans spaces anymore because the people there just drag me down. I logged in yesterday after a long hiatus and looked into the trans megathread and the first thing i had to do was block a user for her unspoilered loathing of the trans existence. I don't know how to handle this anymore. I used to be the kind of woman who writes big effortposts about self acceptance and how to figure yourself out and how to begin navigating systems of medical gatekeeping, but the further i go along in my own transition, the further i am removed from making these early experiences myself, the less i have it in me to unpack all that needs to be unpacked when baby trans yell their pain into the void.

And that's eating at me. It makes me feel guilt, it makes me feel like a failure to my community. My second puberty feels as if i get to sit at the table with the pretty, cool and popular girls, giving fashion advice to the prom queen while i'm leaving the most vulnerable trans people out in the rain, the ones that would need my experience and my encouragement the most. But when i try to be there for them, i harm myself. I can't say it otherwise, it is burning me out to expose myself to that kind of pain. It feels as if i'm walking backwards into a darkness i have escaped from. How do i deal with this? Do i retreat to my wonderland of privileged, happy women and girlthings or is there a way to move beyond the triggers and face the misery of others without becoming miserable myself? Because that's what i would need if i wanted to keep helping my siblings.

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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by TheDoctor@hexbear.net to c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net

I’m researching hair removal and the sheer amount of options as well as the range in price just seems daunting. Why are there $30 devices and also $300 devices? And why would people chose to pay more for a single session than the device costs on its own?

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HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE!!! bridget-pride

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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by TheDoctor@hexbear.net to c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net

It was the most trans movie I’ve ever seen and I don’t know what to do with it.

spoilersI cried when she aged twenty years instead of going back. And I’m pretty sure the ending means she never went back. What a heartbreaking movie.

I was also really struck by usage of tv screens to act less like corrupting forced and more like windows into people’s essences. The idea that TVs are corrupting the youth is so pervasive even now that the usage confused me at first. I remember seeing the scene from the trailer where the main character is being pulled into the tv, remembering that scene while watching the movie and thinking, “wait, they’re gonna somehow make me root for that happening?”

I think there’s an interesting subversion of delusion happening in general in the movie. In most other movies, but big reveal in the bar would be framed like someone losing their mind. But instead it plants genuine doubt and manages to convince the audience that the world they’ve been inhabiting is not real.

I’m not absolutely devastated like so many people have been but maybe I hyped it up in my head. I managed to avoid spoilers. But emotionally I had heavy expectations for it. I also can’t get it out of my head. It’s just swirling around in there.

I don’t know how anyone can watch it and not see the transness of it, but apparently some people do.

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I always hesitate to call what I experience a period, because i dont know if thats what it is or if it operates the same, plus some deep-set fear that as soon as I use that word in reference to myself 10 terfs will jump out of the woodwork and berate me for an hour.

I was wondering if anyone else experiences intense period-esq symptoms? Every ~3 weeks i have intense mood swings and am borderline psychotic for 2-5 days. I get very super dysphoric and everything is just really terrible. I also lose memory and dont remember what I did during those times very well (although my memory is terrible regardless so it could just be normal-for-me memory loss).

Its not directly related to my shot schedule, but its at its worst when it lines up with my shot. I cant tell if progesterone makes it better or worse, but I went off it to try and narrow everything down, because it wasnt always this intense. I might try cycling it to see if that helps? But it might just make it worse.

Im unsure why i made this post, i guess i just want to know im not alone?

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traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnns

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182 users here now

Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.

  1. Please follow the Hexbear Code of Conduct

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