When I wipe my butt it starts to fucking bleed, it's horrible. Like, I don't want to get into details, but after a few wipes it starts hurting and the paper wipes get bloody. Imagine wiping your ass with sandpaper, it's basically that, but somehow replicated with regular toilet paper.

I have to go shower every single time I poo to actually clean my butt.

As of writing this, it's 1 A.M and I just pooed, couldn't wipe as usual, but as I mentioned, it's 1 A.M. If I were to attempt to clean myself in the shower, i'd wake everyone up. So, i can't rinse butt,.

I am writing this with a half wiped butt. Buy me a bidet, please

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[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 28 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Okay so here's what you do.

After the preliminary clean get 2-3 squares of paper, stack them and fold the stack in half. The goal is to have something 4-6 sheets thick. Get it wet with cool water. Wipe gingerly.

When you can shower pat the area dry and apply some ointment. Basic antibiotic ointment (neosporin stuff) will work. Petroleum jelly if nothing else is available. You can also use coconut oil. You gotta moisturize your hole.

Expert mode: if you have a heater or even just a hair dryer use that to blast your asshole with warm dry air after the shower.

Now onto double extra mode: the next time you need to shit get a square of toilet paper and fold it into a little applicator patch. Put ointment on it. Massage it onto your asshole, a little bit inside even. Then take your shit.

Remember the rule: dry skin tears, moist skin stretches so stay hydrated and apply ointment.

And eat more fiber.

This post brought to you by Irritable Bowel Syndrome Gang

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

The shit whisperer has spoken

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 15 points 1 week ago

GOOD post