this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2025
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chapotraphouse
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American victory gin will be called Bald Eagle Freedom Bourbon. It will have American flags, tanks and AR-15'S on the label. It will be laced with caffeine and dextrose and contain enough high fructose corn syrup to legally be a form of molasses. It will advertised as being a source of protein. For inexplicable reasons it will have a petrol-like aftertaste. Chuds will chug it to trigger the libs and you will be allowed to drink it at work because workplace alcohol policies has been declared "woke DEI".