this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2025
128 points (97.1% liked)

chapotraphouse

13758 readers
887 users here now

Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.

No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer

Slop posts go in c/slop. Don't post low-hanging fruit here.

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Common non-coffee drinker W

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] comfy@lemmy.ml 5 points 13 hours ago

It's like gasoline/petrol prices for humans.

Amerikkkans ... may finally be pushed to action

classic

[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 47 points 22 hours ago

This is the end result of Mormons accounting for like half of the FBI/CIA. Non-caffeinated patriots are in control.

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 12 points 18 hours ago

Well now that nintendos have been delayed there may be a chance of guillotines hitting the streets

[–] tim_curry@hexbear.net 56 points 23 hours ago (5 children)

Nah bring back Victorian style capitalism. Coffee is now 5% actual coffee and the rest is laced with dirt and my farts, maybe some anthrax for fun

[–] goferking0@lemmy.sdf.org 26 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Why else would they be trying so hard to remove safety regulations and standards 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[–] tim_curry@hexbear.net 23 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (1 children)

Life was better when jewlery made me spontaneously combust. Bread hasn't been the same since they stopped putting plaster in it

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 17 points 21 hours ago

They're called adulturants because it's food for grown ups now stop being a baby and eat your sawdust loaf.

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 25 points 23 hours ago (3 children)

If you're buying like Folger's you're already getting a bunch of sticks and whatnot in your coffee.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Wertheimer@hexbear.net 18 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

farts

Are you an Asian palm civet? Because there will be tariffs on you, too.

[–] tim_curry@hexbear.net 23 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] miz@hexbear.net 16 points 22 hours ago

I love this website

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] GoodGuyWithACat@hexbear.net 18 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I've been saying IRL that Trump is gonna bring back lead and asbestos to save the American economy.

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 19 points 22 hours ago (5 children)

I mean, he literally thinks the laws against asbestos are a mafia conspiracy.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Lyudmila@hexbear.net 17 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

No you guise, you don't understand!

This is gonna make prices lower somehow because The Communists (Jeff Bezos, Mike Walmart) will accept lower profits and then all the other Bad Countries will come groveling for the Best Trade Deals Ever!

please-save-me

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 6 points 18 hours ago

you forgot about Tim Apple, the most communist of all the US communists.

[–] invo_rt@hexbear.net 46 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Me, the espresso enjoyer miyazaki-pain

Coffee is already in a tenuous position due to climate change and its effect on suitable grow zones. Tariffs are just the cherry on top.

[–] Posadas@hexbear.net 31 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Are you ready for ze decaffeinated world order

[–] anaesidemus@hexbear.net 26 points 23 hours ago (3 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] MaxOS@hexbear.net 32 points 22 hours ago (4 children)

Black Rifle Coffee will be exempt from the tariffs

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 6 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

good, cant cut off money to the zapatistas

[–] FloridaBoi@hexbear.net 20 points 22 hours ago

The only black life that matters

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 6 points 17 hours ago

Hmmm, economically destructive taxes put on imports of caffeinated beverage ingredient Americans consume large quantities of, except one favored corporation with deep ties to the state get an exemption to them? Why does that sound so familiar?

[–] Tabitha@hexbear.net 17 points 22 hours ago

sounds like a great place to hang out once we run out of tesla dealerships.

[–] peppersky@hexbear.net 29 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

They'll drink those coffee alternatives people in the civil war drank with caffeine tablets mixed in

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 18 points 21 hours ago

Nothing like a hot cup of chicory in the morning while smoking a cheroot.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Jabril@hexbear.net 34 points 23 hours ago (3 children)

Americans will just switch to Celsius or whatever energy drinks. They won't do shit about losing treats aside from complain and pray for Kamala to bring them back in a few years

[–] FloridaBoi@hexbear.net 20 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

The caffeine in energy drinks I think comes from the decaffeination process for decaf coffee

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 20 points 22 hours ago (8 children)

Those will also increase in price with tariffs on countries that supply aluminum and the ingredients to make that slop

load more comments (8 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 55 points 1 day ago

300 years in the future

History teacher: "and that is what kicked off what we call the Coffee Rebellion in what was then the United States."

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 31 points 23 hours ago

sergey-chad Engineers run on coffee.

frothingfash CHUDs run on Beer.

meow-coffee No coffee. No water. meow-tableflip

No water. No beer. all-my-apes-gone

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 36 points 1 day ago (8 children)

no trust me. the highly productive Kona region will supply the entire American market now that they don't have to compete with those inferior imports

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 23 points 23 hours ago

That's not fair, there's also Puerto Rico and whatever the fuck Jason Mraz is doing in Santa Barbara.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Aliveelectricwire@hexbear.net 7 points 18 hours ago

I will die on the barricades for white monster.

[–] The_sleepy_woke_dialectic@hexbear.net 41 points 1 day ago (6 children)

They're just going to switch to caffeinated soda. In your heart you know this to be true. doomer

[–] viva_la_juche@hexbear.net 29 points 1 day ago (6 children)

DRINK 1776 ENERGY! FILLED WITH 100mg OF PATRIOT CAFFEINE! COFFEE IS FOR COMMIES! MADE IN THE GOOD OL US OF A!! GOD’S COUNTRY!

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] spudnik@hexbear.net 10 points 20 hours ago

They will deregulate the fda and Panera will bring back the heart attack lemonade

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Cimbazarov@hexbear.net 37 points 1 day ago

Never underestimate the burgerreich's ability to avoid doing anything that's mildly inconvenient treatler

[–] vegeta1@hexbear.net 27 points 1 day ago

So this is how the coffee party was formed

load more comments
view more: next ›