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Imagine being afraid of the ‘friend zone’ (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Lussy@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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Oh no, my miserable life that’s devoid of any connection and anyone altogether otherwise *at least contains a friend.

What the fuck man, is this a real concern average people have that I’m way too fucking alienated to understand

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[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

As I said, the "friend zone" as a concept is generally a cognitohazard. Having romantic interest turned down hurts, yes, but anticipating "friendzoning" and seeing it as some antagonistic experience that must result in a complete cutting off of the other person just raises the antagonism in the dating pool that much more.

It fucking sucks that so few cishet men are willing to try an actual nonromantic friendship with a cishet woman and I think normalizing the idea of "if no sex, then disappear" just makes that worse.

[-] VILenin@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

Growing up gay, I would have done anything if it meant the maximum consequence for confessing my feelings to someone who wasn’t interested was a “no”. Usually the best I could expect was a reaction so out the fucking wazoo, it’s as if I had shot their grandma to death in front of them. Worst case would be my brain becoming a plaything for a med student by next morning.

I’ve got a feeling that if I’d reacted the same way to a straight lady asking me out, society would suddenly become enlightened as to the proper way to behave.