chapotraphouse

Here’s the most recent one:

So in the airlines you’ve got 2 day, 3 day, 4 day trips. This was a 4 day.

Meet captain bigbrain at the airport. First thing he wants to talk about is CRT, and I’m not talking about 20th century television technology. Oh boy, this is gonna be a long 4 days.

Whatever, in this industry you deal with chuds all the time. This was gonna be the same, right? Little did I know he was gonna spice things up later on.

Now we’re taxiing out from the gate. Guy starts really getting into ranting about woke cancel culture and commiefornia. You’re not supposed to discuss non-operational matters at this phase of flight, but is the FAA looking over your shoulders? No? Then fuck them rules. Not a chud thing exclusively though. Just “wow” and “yeah I guess” my way through to the runway.

We’re climbing out and he finally shuts up for once, probably because it’d look bad if he fucked up and they pulled the tapes with him talking about AOC on it.

We reach cruise. Now, you’re not supposed to use personal devices in the cockpit. Is an FAA inspector riding along? No? Fuck them rules. Nobody cares about this. It’s a long flight, you’re not just gonna stare at the instruments for five hours.

“The Chinese sure are industrious huh?”

“What?”

He’s on Twitter and it’s the JBP Chinese dick sucking factory video. He’s zoomed in on the milking machines (is that what you call them?)

“What the hell are you looking at?”

“It’s a Chinese sperm factory. You think they have production quotas?”

“You sure that’s not just a fetish video?”

“Dr. Peterson knows what he’s posting.”

This is how I found out JBP was behind it. Captain Bigbrain is a lobster dude in addition to being a standard chud, it seems.

I just say “mhmm, wow” and the next 3 hours were about as awkward as you’d expect.