this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2023
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chapotraphouse

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[–] Vncredleader@hexbear.net 26 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

[We're in fuckin 1320 motherfucker, you are a serf. Bitch, you live in Alsace. You are a peasant. You need to give your fucking lord the grain.

Your fucking children? You've had 15 children. You've never taken a bath. You've, literally, never washed your penis. You've never used toilet paper. Motherfucker, you have worms. You are dying. You've had 40 children; three of them are alive. Two of them are child soldiers in the Duke's army. Bitch, the greatest thing you can hope for is to die at the ripe age of 36. You fucking can't read. You don't know what TV is. You are literally, if you are transported to today, the worst gamer of all time. You don't know shit. You literally probably don't know what the direction left is.

I'm sure some medieval guy is gonna get mad at me. Bitch, I've been to the renaissance fair. I have eaten a large turkey wing (which the juggalos call 'bitch beaters'; which I think is problematic but a funny thing to call them). Motherfucker, you gotta recognise where you are and then you gotta get past that. You gotta be unemotional and, I know I'm not being a great display of that myself, but you gotta. You can't sink into this hole. You live in the oubliette, you need to climb up that ladder motherfucker. You live in the hole! You're in the hole! You are a rat, and a rat when he's in the hole gets fucked. People only throw trash in the hole. You know what, you need to eat a body and you need to carry the plague. You need to carry a plague around this whole world that will change this whole fucking world and all your enemies will vomit black bile and they will choke on blood and grow boils and die. But only if you get together with your other rats and you come up with some kind of super plague to fucking end your enemies and end this nightmare.](https://soundcloud.com/distantdreamz/were-in-fuckin-1320-motherfucker)