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[-] daisy@hexbear.net 39 points 10 months ago

I would probably have to read a text from my employer saying I need to come in to work regardless.

[-] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

oof, ouch. That rings true.

[-] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 28 points 10 months ago

I'd still just take the dog for a dang walk and collect myself afterwards.

grillman

[-] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago

Brave, I would be scared of how the dog and zeds might interact

[-] Kaplya@hexbear.net 28 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Zombies are the mental representation of mob uprising in the minds of the bourgeoisie.

So, my first question would be: why am I seeing zombies instead of revolutionaries?

Does that mean I am part of the bourgeois class? Do I secretly manifest some bourgeois mindset that even I am unaware of?

Then, I will close my eyes, pray hard to Marx and Engels to repent my sins and ask them to let me in to join the proletariat side.

After reciting various passages of Das Kapital as if they were Bible verses (years of studying theory prepared me for this moment), I will open my eyes every so often and check if I still see zombies. If not, keep repeating until I no longer see zombies, but revolutionaries.

Then, and only then, it is time to gear up and join them. This is the moment I have been waiting for my whole life. You have nothing to lose but your chains!

[-] Nacarbac@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Rrrrr... chaaaaiiiiins.

Send... more... bourgeois...

[-] thirtymilliondeadfish@hexbear.net 25 points 10 months ago
[-] SovietWaveGoddess@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

She-ra time-

damn it theres no zombies in she-ra

but can i get dibs on a cop

[-] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

As a quisling or actually just be like “time to get bit”?

[-] thirtymilliondeadfish@hexbear.net 21 points 10 months ago

It's a bourgeois horror that befalls landowners, it's the ravenous immigrants and the mindless poor.

I'm joining the zombie revolt and you should too

[-] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

I like being alive though…

[-] thirtymilliondeadfish@hexbear.net 25 points 10 months ago
[-] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

Look, subsisting off brains is certainly cheap. However, it is ultimately evil.

Think about it, the easiest people to kill and eat are going to be working class comrades. The rich are going to be being walls. Probably guarded by guns.

Stopping the dead tide is a proletarian thing to do because it saves more workers than not doing so

[-] thirtymilliondeadfish@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago

yes that's the fantasy, that folks can hunker down and survive the onslaught.

but we're already zombies, and they'll shoot you just as quick. The zombie horde is a bourgeois representation of class consciousness tbh.
Zombies of the world unite, we have nothing to eat but their brains

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[-] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 22 points 10 months ago

fill all containers with water, fasten plywood overall egresses, eat everything in the fridge/freezer, flip breaker service disconnect and gas shut off, relocate into attic with homemade periscopes, dry goods, batteries, and blankets.

Initiate Void Protocol

journal my descent into madness

[-] WeedReference420@hexbear.net 16 points 10 months ago

journal my descent into madness

Came here to say this, gotta do the Resident Evil thing and leave journals everywhere

[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 21 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

"This makes absolutely no sense, there has to be something more to what's happening. Is this fake? Have I been drugged?"

Also, this is why everyone needs to join an org because they would probably be a good group to help people.

[-] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

CPUSA starting a “not actively rotting Caucus”

[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago
[-] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

Crap Piss Urine Sex Authoritarian

[-] Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net 21 points 10 months ago

Put on roller skates and as much padding as possible so I can be the super zombie

[-] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

Roller sport badass would definitely survive

[-] Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net 16 points 10 months ago

No I'm gonna get bit and then be extremely hard to take down.

[-] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

Like a dead rising boss fight. A badass roller boss with a hammer and sickle dual wield build would end so many noobs

[-] thirtymilliondeadfish@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

zombies with neck braces gang

[-] axont@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

I would construct an elaborate set of puzzles and traps inside my home consisting of locked doors and sliding blocks that produce keys

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

Drink my piss for less than recreational purposes

[-] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 15 points 10 months ago

I'd probably be mildly excited to have a break from the usual monotony of capitalist wage labor. No more schedules for me, time to barricade my front door and make body armor out of saucepans

[-] raven@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

If you're just trying to protect against bites I bet a couple layers of say, denim would do just fine. Human teeth aren't very powerful.

Don't forget to cover your neck. They always neglect the neck in movies!

[-] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago

no, i am going to cosplay ned kelly

[-] Zoift@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago

I have a pet theory that if there ever is zombie outbreak or meteor strike or something, the burgerlands are going to have a rougher time of it because everyone saw Mad Max and went "Yeah, that looks about right"

[-] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

oh absolutely. In an actual apocalypse scenario, acting like a Fallout raider is probably the fastest way to get yourself killed as you make as many enemies as you can very quickly and constantly put yourself in life or death combat

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[-] GladimirLenin@hexbear.net 15 points 10 months ago

I would tell them they are violating the NAP.

[-] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 15 points 10 months ago

When I was a kid in the midst of the whole "zombie apocalypse" trend in media with the Walking Dead and so forth, I drafted a zombie apocalypse survival strategy. This strategy involved going to the Bolærne Islands, presumably by driving through the countryside to somewhere on the eastern shore of the Oslo Fjord, then taking a boat to Bolærne.

My idea was to build a self-sufficient society with collective ownership of resources, governed by a system of decentralization, whereby each of the three islands would govern themselves by consensus, and would directly elect a representative who could be recalled at any point, to a council of leaders to make decisions concerning the archipelago as a whole. The citizenry would be united in pride, and identified to others and themselves, by a symbol under which they could rally: a vertical tricolor of green-red-white, centered in each stripe a five pointed star, two white, the flymost red.

"Heh, kind of funny to use a red star, makes this place look like some sort of commie thing, lol", I said to myself.

My logic was that, firstly, zombies can't swim, and Bolærne would be easier to defend due to its military history; secondly, the location of Bolærne would allow this "republic" to be a vital trading outpost for all survivors in the Oslo Fjord region, thereby guaranteeing Bolærne has a high amount of regional influence among survivor factions, and a high degree of independence due to its self-sufficiency; and thirdly, this system of collective ownership and decentralized governance would have the greatests chances of distributing scarce resources fairly in a way that would maximize comfort, survival, peace, and democracy, particularly as writing down legal documents might be difficult with a presumed paper shortage and lack of electricity.

In those days I didn't know what a "commune" was. I'd heard the word "communism" but only associated it with "no food 100 billion dead". I sincerely believed that this would only be a temporary step, with the ultimate goal of restoring society "back to normal".

[-] DengistDonnieDarko@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago

Die, probably!

[-] CyborgMarx@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Make a rudimentary ghillie suit and then head toward the nearest military base to scavenge

Then after weeks of preparation, head to Langley to acquire state secrets for historical preservation and the names and addresses of certain individuals who committed crimes against socialism in the old world

Probably head to Mount Weather next, to see if I can pick up their trail before I start scouring addresses around the country and begin hunting

Either way zombies will be the least of their worries todd

[-] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)
[-] SovietWaveGoddess@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Download as much literature as possible until the internet knocks out, while also charging up the large portable batteries.

Then I try to kill cops, steal their guns, and steal more shit

i will not last a day

[-] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

Die, or if they are shaun of the dead zombies just wait a bit and continue life as normal

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[-] footfaults@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

Reach out to my neighbors, hand out guns, figure out the next steps

[-] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

Step 0: acquire guns. Not bad advice tbh

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[-] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago

Be petty AF and hope that a few people i dont care for got it.

[-] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago

My place is in a very bad zombie survival position, so I’d probably start driving to my uncles place since it’s got a fence at least

[-] AvocadoVapelung@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

get bitten (as a bit, of course)

aggressively post on hexbear as i become less and less coherent and everyone accuses me of being a BMF alt

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[-] WittyProfileName2@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

I live in the arse end of nowhere, so...

Self isolate, and wait for it to blow over I guess.

[-] Great_Leader_Is_Dead@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

I got an uncle with some property in West Virginia, and I bought some of those survival buckets from Costco so I'd probably throw those and my 9mm and crossbow in my RAV4 and try and take backroads out there.

[-] Othello@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

getting a gun and stealing a yatch and then become a pirate. i would survive off of what i loot in ships and dock on an uninhabited island, and maybe start a floating city. this is all assuming zombies cant swim.

[-] Mokey@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

I wouldnt get the fucking jab thats for sure

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this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2024
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