Rats have gotten into the confiscated marijuana at the vermin-infested and decaying New Orleans Police Department headquarters, the city's top cop warned.

"I want you to see the tray of all of the roaches, major rodents on the floor, the cockroaches, the rats eating our marijuana. They're all high," Police Superintendent Anne Kirkpatrick told the Criminal Justice Committee on Monday about the evidence room.

The current department headquarters houses substandard facilities with broken air conditioners and elevators. Officers "have nowhere to use a restroom," according to Kirkpatrick.

all 12 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] AnarchoSnowPlow@midwest.social 20 points 8 months ago (2 children)

"They're all high"

Tell me you know fuck all about weed without telling me you know fuck all about weed.

[–] huf@hexbear.net 7 points 8 months ago

i'm also somewhat skeptical of the claim that they can tell when a cockroach is high...

[–] Emanuel 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's a little known fact, but some species of rats have a second stomach that works as a furnace, thus making it possible to transform the THCA into THC all within their system. It's like they were made to get high

[–] HexbearGPT@hexbear.net 6 points 8 months ago

“We were ALL made to get high” - the Bible, probably

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 16 points 8 months ago

“Ummm, yeah, it was the rats that took all those illegal drugs. Yep, definitely the rats. Now give us more money.”

[–] asg101@hexbear.net 14 points 8 months ago

rat-salute Thank you for your service.

[–] DyingOfDeBordom@hexbear.net 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

poolice station dirty?? have you tried.... cleaning up after yourselves, little piglets?

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'm going to make a prediction and rough outline of it will happen. I'm sure of it.

The cops are going to make an emergency request for something insane like $20 million to fix what they call "systemic issues to address health and safety" issues within the building. And later news will break that ~$19.5 million is "missing" and the $500k they can account for was given to some cop's brother in-law's "construction firm". In reality - he had no firm. He was an out-of-work carpenter who doesn't own any tools, has no car, and he lives ~500 miles away.

Some law-and-order lib pol will "demand answers" about all of this. Why? To build his brand - of course. Maybe he'll be on MSNBC and on Morning Joe they'll say "He's gonna get answers! Ned Neolib is the new sheriff in town!" The carpenter is screwed but the ~$19.5 million will remain mysteriously missing and somehow unaccounted for.

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 2 points 8 months ago

That sorta happened where my sister lives, except instead of the construction/repair money going missing they just straight up spent it on one of those armored paramilitary vehicles. In a sleepy college town, mind you.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Officers "have nowhere to use a restroom,"

Critical support to whoever is defunding the police so hard they don't have a place to shit. sicko-hazmat

[–] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 6 points 8 months ago

Lmao they’re probably refusing to fix the elevators so pigs get some fucking cardio at least