this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2024
350 points (98.6% liked)

Not The Onion

12529 readers
1217 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
all 29 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 51 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

"Ordered the shrimp cocktail on ice. It was terrible. If it doesn't improve next time I come, I'll put the chef on ice!" ⭐⭐

[–] LemmyFeed@lemmy.world 49 points 8 months ago
[–] testeronious@lemmy.world 43 points 8 months ago (1 children)

dude wanted to leave a bad review so much that he risked his billionaire drug empire.

[–] didnt_readit@lemmy.world 47 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Funny thing is most of them are good reviews not bad lol

It’s funny reading these mundane “the service was great, good steak” kind of review and knowing it’s written by a billionaire drug kingpin 😂

[–] testeronious@lemmy.world 22 points 8 months ago

"service was great, didn't even have to kill the waiter"

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Is it like Gus Fring, where anything positive he says always has a double edged threat to it?

[–] didnt_readit@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

Mostly just seems genuinely positive haha

[–] Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.world 40 points 8 months ago (2 children)

If you are a Google Maps Contributor, you get points for submitting reviews and photos. Points increase your level. The higher your level, the more free stuff you get. At level 6, I got free socks.

The reviews often included photos of the restaurants, which sometimes featured photos of the Irish drug lord himself.

Gonna bet this guy is way high of a level to keep outing himself.

[–] LowtierComputer@lemmy.world 27 points 8 months ago (2 children)

What?!? I'm level 7 and I didn't get any socks. How did you get free socks?

[–] LeroyJenkins@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

it's not a thing anymore. being a maps contributor in the past put you into a little club where you got rewards for reaching guide levels. they used to give away Google drive space , invites to socials, and the socks mentioned in this thread. unfortunately it went away since it's not a novel feature where they need to drive people to be contribute.

[–] LowtierComputer@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

Shoot. I never looked at those emails because they sent so many. Free drive space, pins, Google Play Cash. All expired now. oh well.

[–] Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'm making a bunch of assumptions but I'm guessing US-specific offer, and maybe I did a wide range of activities? I was in-between jobs in 2017 and scored a lot of points around that time from my wandering.

[–] LowtierComputer@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Yeah I think so. As good as any fancy $10 socks.

[–] variants@possumpat.io 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Trying to get the elusive pin

[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

The King pin? 👉😏👉

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 32 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

"He's at the Hilton!" "Well then, let's go there!" "I dunno, it doesn't sound great. This guy only ranked it 2 stars, and apparently it really hates cops."

[–] variants@possumpat.io 26 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I like how they found him on LinkedIn first then just searched him up on google to find his other accounts.

I wonder if his account was recommended to the FBI agent as someone he might know is now using LinkedIn

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Dude uses his real fucken names. All you had to be was Dejorno McBawls and you're good.

[–] melpomenesclevage@lemm.ee 1 points 8 months ago

Seriously. I'd at least switch my name to angstytits. Delay my reviews until I'd left town at the very least.

[–] scytale@lemm.ee 16 points 8 months ago (3 children)

So…why haven’t they been arrested?

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 46 points 8 months ago

They are really good reviews

[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 13 points 8 months ago

The bellingcat article mentions that the UAE may extradite kinahan sr soon. I imagine he's been able to put it off this long because money and connections. Just like every other rich fuck

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 13 points 8 months ago

"Can't stop"?

"Won't stop" is more like it.

It's a power move.

[–] Aatube@kbin.social 9 points 8 months ago

The revelation comes two years after a LinkedIn profile associated with Kinahan named “Christopher Vincent”—the same name on the Google account—was uncovered.

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 7 points 8 months ago

"Yeah, but the cannolis at the bakery on 42nd really are shit"

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

Came here to post this, but you beat me. Hilarious shit

[–] Zehzin@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

Just start doing fake reviews, confuse the shit out of them.

Of course, that could go against his moral code.