If three astronauts are flying over the Gobi desert in a canoe and they crash, then how many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

The answer is purple, because ice cream has no bones.

Therefore, my answer is 42.

If I was lost, Windows. More likely to get back to civilization by finding well adjusted users. Instead of one old graybeard that hasn't seen other people for days.

(I use Arch, btw)

TempleOS

Windows, definitely

Then if it gets too hot I could open them

Windows. It would show me the way out while blasting me with Ads.

Linux, however, would do nothing but scream about how I should use it, and how it really is the best, all while giving confusing, complicated, and unhelpful info about its numerous distros. Then, when I say that's all too much and I'm just going to go talk to Windows, it spits on me.

iOS so I can use the premium metal build Apple likes to use and sharpen against a stone and use it to slit my own throat.

Windows. That would mean there's a building there, which means I might be closer to getting out of the woods.

Either way, assuming I can find a large stick or rock, I'd have enough patience to do a manual physical uninstall and get back to my solitude. So I think I'd be pretty ambivalent.
I guess smashing the shit out of windows would be slightly more satisfying - but that's not really the main reason I'm alone in the woods.

And yes - before you ask the obvious follow-up - I have smashed the shit out of a thinkpad in the past, they're not as tough as people say they are; it's mostly false bravado. Don't be afraid to stand up to the bully (ymmv).

How do you know a person is running Arch?

I don't understand the question.

Linux.

But I don't understand the question.

PonyOS :D

Is it hostile?

Which version of Windows?

Windows. Because I don't hear how Systemd is the most evil thing in the history of computation...again.

What about MacOS?

On a computer? A disc? Or a physical embodiment?

Neither of these are physical entities, making the question pointless

Windows. It's been too long since I used Linux so don't remember all the things anymore

I guess linux as its more likely to be a phone.

Linux.

Who knows how long that computer has been there, but if it’s been a while and still has something less than Windows 10, nothing will work.

Linux, very obviously.

It runs inside so many wildlife cameras.

Linux if I'm using the machine.

I can maintain Windows. But I don't remember how to use it for everyday tasks.