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submitted 2 months ago by Waldowal@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

Not really me. A friend of mine is moving out of state. His neighbor has been a total dick the entire time he's lived there. Constantly commenting on how my friend's yard isn't as good as his. Mean to my friend's wife and kids for no reason. Just an asshole of a person.

What are some ideas for fun pranks my friend can leave behind?

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[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 111 points 2 months ago

Move his house 2 inches to the left, so when he tries to unlock his front door, he misses the keyhole.

[-] slazer2au@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago
[-] GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.ee 19 points 2 months ago

It's a Pete and Pete reference. Helps if you're old.

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[-] wild@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Damn that made me realize how much I miss that show.

[-] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 89 points 2 months ago

Let Scientology and the Jehovah's witnesses know he's interested in knowing more. Do the same with military recruiters.

Sign him up to receive junk mail from sex toy stores. Use his name and his neighbors' addresses. Maybe try to get travel brochures sent to him for countries known for sex tourism.

[-] wirelesswire@lemmy.zip 22 points 2 months ago

I get junk mail addressed to a Pablo Picasso at my address periodically.

[-] Cadeillac@lemmy.world 34 points 2 months ago

Stop being a dick to your neighbors

[-] wirelesswire@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 months ago

I keep to myself, so I have no idea what I could've done to piss them off. I also get periodic mail for the previous homeowner, despite me living here for almost 7 years.

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[-] echo@lemmings.world 88 points 2 months ago

Why be petty and justify the neighbor... just move and never think of them again.

[-] Cadeillac@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago

Nice try, neighbor

[-] VelvetStorm@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago
[-] Empricorn@feddit.nl 9 points 2 months ago

The best revenge is living well.

[-] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

I hate that saying. Living well is better than wasting time with revenge. But living well is not revenge.

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[-] jordanlund@lemmy.world 55 points 2 months ago

In the middle of the night, take a bunch of nitrogen fertilizer and lay out a "Fuck You!" message on his lawn. Water it into the ground.

The message won't appear for months until after you move away.

[-] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 29 points 2 months ago

Draw a big dick in the lawn

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[-] BearOfaTime@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

Hahahahah, gold

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[-] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 34 points 2 months ago

If his TV is close enough to the window to see what he's watching, and you can find a remote with enough range to change the channel from your own house, well, you know the rest.

[-] wazoobonkerbrain@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

Throw the remote at the window?

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[-] scarilog@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

If you know a little electronics you can build a high power IR led circuit to generate super powrful IR signals that would work for this purpose.

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[-] Dumbkid@lemmy.dbzer0.com 32 points 2 months ago

Look up where the property line really is, and if the neighbor is encroaching get it surveyed and enforced the the new owner can reclaim part of the neighbor's land

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[-] lvxferre@mander.xyz 30 points 2 months ago

Plant catnip all across your future former garden. Preferably close to the neighbour's terrain. Make sure that it's really easy for stray cats to reach their newest drug den.

Cat fights are bloody annoying to hear.

[-] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

If you wanna spend money, glitter mail. or if its a house, set up a flood light pointed at their house and set it up on a random timer for only at night and blast them with "security" lighting.

Attract tons of wild life with the food you need to get rid of.

Sign up for grindr and start sending people their way.

Learn the noise ordinance laws and maximize that to the fullest for a short period

Stand on the property line constantly and try looking through their windows, or watch them, if they approach, quickly leave (don't enter their property)

Sign them up for stuff. Especially if you can find their email through LinkedIn etc.

Or, just move on since they will be out of your life regardless, don't spend your energy on them,they aren't worth it

Edit: Actually rather than grindr, send scalpers, leave good people out of these shenanigans

[-] boogetyboo@aussie.zone 8 points 2 months ago

Everything except the Grindr one. Endangering people is never cool.

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[-] UncleGrandPa@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago

Plant a single piece of bamboo in a little used area near his lawn. By the time he notices it. He will never get rid of it

[-] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 11 points 2 months ago

I live in Japan and I just go over any that pops up with the lawnmower like I would normal grass. Unless you let it get big, you won't even notice it was there.

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[-] Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 months ago

How about mint?

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[-] Mossheart@lemmy.ca 27 points 2 months ago

If Canadian, chuck a bag of milk in his eavestroughing. The heat will rot the milk and the bag will degrade in the sun till one day it fails, releasing STANK.

[-] TheRedSpade@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago

"Gutters" for anyone else about to look up "eavestroughing"

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[-] Professorozone@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago

Sign up for a bunch of free magazine subscriptions, like Wisconsin cheese, harbor freight, etc and put his address on it. He'll be inundated with junk mail.

[-] Lennnny@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago

Throw wildflower seeds (non invasive) over onto his perfectly manicured yard.

Another one is a long con: befriend crows, get them to come to your friend's house to feed. The neighbor will likely sho them away which will aggravate them. Crows hold grudges for a REALLY long time and only shit where they don't eat, aka his yard.

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[-] USNWoodwork@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago

Order some joke/fake lottery tickets. One of the ones where every ticket wins $30k. Drop one on his driveway before he heads to work in the AM for him to find. I've only done this to two people and they both fell hook, line, and sinker for it. One lady was calling her husband to come pick up the winning ticket to keep it safe.

[-] superkret@feddit.org 18 points 2 months ago

Don't. We're all stuck on this little ball of rock together, and making each other miserable just makes life worse for everyone.

[-] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

If only his neighbor had followed that

[-] ShittyBeatlesFCPres@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago

I don’t know what kind of neighborhood it is but sprinkling cat food or something like that everywhere would probably attract something. Your friend could even do it to his own yard. I’d be weirded out if my neighbor moved and suddenly his yard had 25 raccoons in it.

[-] CodingCarpenter@lemm.ee 17 points 2 months ago

Spread dandelion seeds. You can buy them online and literally just toss them everywhere and he will never be rid of them. Or kudzu Vine that shit never goes away

[-] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 55 points 2 months ago

Don't intentionally spread invasive plants, local ecosystems have it hard enough as it is.

[-] SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net 11 points 2 months ago

You can get them in pink and white too! As an extra fuck you over the normal yellow which can happen on their own.

Make seed bombs of pink dandelions and launch them before a storm.

Side note; I want pink dandelions but I’m sure my neighbors would hate me… but I also have an asshole neighbor and I’ve totally thought about seeding his property with them and letting them spread to mine…. I won’t do it, because cameras, but I want to so much.

[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 2 months ago

Can spread to other neighbors' yards. I like the fertilizer idea because it doesn't spread.

[-] daddy32@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago

When I was a kid in a second world country, you would put yeast in his latrine. That would teach him.

Unfortunately, that is probably no longer applicable.

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[-] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

You want to ruin someone's life? Plant some fucking greenbriar on the property. Genus Smilax. Thorny vines that grow from rhizome-like tubers in the ground. Grows a little slower than kudzu but I'd rather be around kudzu. Harder to eradicate than white supremacy. Once it's got it's little tumors in your soil, it's over forever. It'll sent shoots out just under the grass to spread out like strawberries. If you get both genders of the plant in one place, the females will grow berries that the birds eat and then they'll shit the seeds everywhere, the complicit little fuckpukes. If you don't dig up ALL the plant, it'll just grow back harder. I've seen them strangle a dogwood tree to death. They'll grow 40 feet high if they've got something to climb. There is no commercial, medical or craft use for them. The leaves have a waxy coating that protects them from herbicide. I haven't tried fire yet but it probably won't work.

[-] jordanpeterson@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago
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[-] tombruzzo@lemm.ee 10 points 2 months ago

I heard of this funny trick where you put a bag of ice over the pilot light of his boiler. The boiler will put out gas until the ice melts and the pilot light comes back on.

And let's justr say, that's when the prank really 'pops' off

[-] xantoxis@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago

I too, was coming here to say "burn down his house"

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[-] Nomecks@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 months ago

Roundup a big dick into the grass. Won't show up for a week.

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[-] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 8 points 2 months ago

If your, erm, "friend" is planning to but has not sold ~~your~~ his house, then this is an even more terrible idea that asks for trouble.

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this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2024
111 points (87.2% liked)

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