this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2024
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Slop.

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[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 3 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

God I hate the Western press. So fucking stupid

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 3 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

How are any of these things "woke" or fancy? Am I missing something? What a joke

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 49 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Nothing is a bigger insult to the English way of life than fresh vegetables

[–] BashfulBob@hexbear.net 35 points 21 hours ago (3 children)

The English built their entire imperial fortune on the international trade of exotic spices, teas, coffees, and chocolates. Horrific human atrocities were committed to cultivate the banana. Nightmarish acts of barbarity were performed to mass produce indigo and rum. People were dismembered by cannon fire to guarantee the free flow of turmeric and saffron.

Hell, mustard was one such condiment. You're not growing mustard plants on the Orkney Islands.

Its just so deliberately ahistoric. Like, I know The Mail exists to make anyone with a fucking education cringe. But god damn, they're good at their jobs.

[–] grendahlgrendahlgen@hexbear.net 3 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Mustard is native to Europe and Central Asia

[–] BashfulBob@hexbear.net 1 points 1 hour ago

Southeastern Europe, sure. But Brits want to hear about Syrian Mustard about as much as they want to hear about Syrian immigrants.

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 7 points 16 hours ago

People were dismembered by cannon fire

I read about this; it sounds like hyperbole but horrifically it was real.

[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 15 points 20 hours ago

they grow mustard in iceland, apparently lol. the english get off on that one

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 11 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I've like watching James Mays sandwiches of the 70s video and it is wild that for a cooler decades that God forsaken island considered Russian dressing to be their version of a fresh vegetable.

[–] sourquincelog@hexbear.net 6 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

I must see this.

Yisss

[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 60 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

the fancy woke filling is fucking deli chicken slices and like olives and cheese from spain or something for anyone who doesn't want to read the daily lie

[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 48 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Not only is being vegan woke, so is eating fancy meats and cheeses like a gourmand

Literally everything is woke according to boomers lol

[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 35 points 22 hours ago

woke is anything that wakes me from my eldritch slumbers, apparently

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 53 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (1 children)

"Oh, phew, my child is still getting his slop with mustard" grillman

'It's Dijon mustard dad...'

grill-broke

[–] a_party_german@hexbear.net 29 points 22 hours ago
[–] Speaker@hexbear.net 9 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Smack barm pey wet but it's poly and trans.

[–] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 7 points 15 hours ago

Well its already vegan

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 55 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

The other day I went to a restaurant and asked for a meatball sub. They said they no longer serve meatballs, only genderballs.

[–] glimmer_twin@hexbear.net 15 points 20 hours ago

They changed the meatballs to meatovariesbawllin-sad

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 25 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 27 points 22 hours ago

I sent my children an email saying they aren't welcome at Christmas if they want to eat fucking pronoun ham and they did NOT reply.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 32 points 22 hours ago

measurehead The Ham Sandwich people think they can overcome their addiction to the ham sandwich. Next they will think they can stop drinking the Al-Gul and eating potato

[–] Comrade_Mushroom@hexbear.net 8 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

As of glancing at the first 3 words of this article title I have decided that I am no longer acknowledging any form of generation-bashing or stereotyping, for my own health.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 7 points 17 hours ago

My fantasy kitchen job is getting carte blanche on a vegan soup and sandwich kinda place. I really really give a fuck about sandwiches. Stuff in a bread is universal, happiness is a really good sandwich.

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 21 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Anybody who unironically complain about "woke condiments" should 100%, unironically have all of their electronic devices confiscated and be forced to do hard labor for a couple weeks. They clearly need to take a step back and recontextualize some things.

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 4 points 12 hours ago

Bringing back the Gulag system but for people who complained about olive oil based mayonnaise being sold in stores

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 33 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

who the fuck reads this shit unironically?

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 14 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

The most unimpressive middle aged man you've ever met who knows that deep down nobody has ever done anything as impressive as the time he graduated from his local high-school with a 2.4 GPA before becoming a "project manager" for his dad's construction company with 4 employees.

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[–] glimmer_twin@hexbear.net 16 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

They put pronouns in ma bred bawllin-sad

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 4 points 17 hours ago

Pumpernickel? I hardly know 'er nickel

[–] CantaloupeAss@hexbear.net 33 points 23 hours ago

fancy woke fillings lmao

[–] Sulvor@hexbear.net 30 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Good comments on that article lol

Bacon and banana is the way to go

what-the-hell

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 22 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

IIRC that's what Elvis used to eat: peanut butter with bacon and banana sandwich, deep fried.

[–] Weedian@hexbear.net 10 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

No wonder he died on the terlet

[–] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 8 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I've heard it was also his use of opiates. Opiates constipate you really hard and he just put forward too much effort taking a shit.

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 5 points 16 hours ago

Dunking on the king every time I crack a dooker

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 13 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I been ache'n for a banacon!

[–] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 21 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

First #Boomers created the sandwich

Then #GenX ate the sandwich

Then #Millenials killed the sandwich

Then #Zoomers woke the sandwich

Imagine what #Alphas will do tomorrow thonk

[–] MayoPete@hexbear.net 5 points 14 hours ago (1 children)
[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 4 points 12 hours ago

"On God," and "no cap" means "on sourdough" and "hold the mushrooms."

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 18 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Please do not lewd the sandwich.

[–] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 9 points 21 hours ago

horror Won't ~~anybody~~ the children think about ~~the children~~ anybody??

[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 15 points 22 hours ago

I cannot be alone in thinking that if one of the listings on a menu was just described as "Fancy Woke" I just need to order that thing even if I'm not really hungry. Offering a sandwich with that filling would probably just be a sound business decision.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 18 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 13 points 22 hours ago

LOL, LMAO even!

https://muckrack.com/zac-campbell

Audience Writer, Daily Mail

Covers: Principally covering football, I have also written for Wisden Cricket Monthly and the NME.

Doesn't Cover: I focus solely on sport. twisted Social bloodsport

[–] Lussy@hexbear.net 14 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

Is it too late to unironically use the term ‘woke mind virus’?

[–] micnd90@hexbear.net 11 points 21 hours ago

We need Sean Dyche emoji. Low block 4-4-2 on rainy day at Stoke

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 12 points 22 hours ago (4 children)

Ham and mustard does sound pretty fire rn, ngl

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