It sucks enough that I've lost my friend, it sucks even more that I still have to work with him, and it sucks even more that even Hextube doesn't seem to be a place to turn anymore. It sucks the most that I can't even feel my own emotions because of excessive SSRIs.

i tried to post this to c/mentalhealth and it blocked me for some reason

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[–] wtypstanaccount04@hexbear.net 14 points 9 months ago

glad we're not alone

it became a whole mess, at least in my head

i wish i could tell him that i love him, but i can't even talk to him

we can't be together

i had to talk to him today for work-related reasons and he just looked at me with the most terrified eyes

it hurts to see him in fear, it hurts that i can't comfort him, it hurts that i can't be with him, it hurts that i can't hurt

dunno why i'm drinking again when i was saying today that drinking can only make a bad situation worse, which is exactly what is happening right now