at the certified and approved service desk with the dealership, where you can pay top dollar for parts and labor and you have no recourse to their diagnostics.

or, as those of us olds with now-classic cars refer to it as, the stealership. remember: you didn't buy a vehicle. you bought the ability to drive it sometimes and the right to funnel more money to the manufacturer/broker when it fucks up.

Here's the valet key, a second phone

As someone with a Tesla. There are "keys" they are just cards, think rfid cards for those who know, if you don't just think credit card size.