Did your deadname ever feel like yours? (hexbear.net)

submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by EstraDoll@hexbear.net to c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net

39 comments fedilink hide all child comments

One of the fun parts about being trans is now there's this name that the government and most strangers recognize me as that I and my close friends don't, but every time I think about the fact that I have a deadname now, I keep getting struck by this strange feeling that my deadname never felt like mine, even through years of me actively using it as my name. I remember trying to change it was I was about 17 but I never did because I only tried to think of masc names. For as long as I can remember, I could never look at my deadname and feel like it was mine. I didn't like it and it felt strange to even associate that name with me; I only ever did because the only alternative I could think of was just not having a name, which would have been a massive inconvenience. I never even really thought it was a bad name, I just hated it for me

Did anyone else ever feel like this or am I just crazy?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] CoolYori@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago

That is what I love about IFS. It just seems so adaptable to different situations.

[-] rayne@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago

Yeah it's a really effective tool for understanding different parts of ourselves and learning to hold space for all of those parts.

I see my therapist this morning and really need to, I've been disassociating the last 3 days and stuck in boy mode, mostly due to family shame and a stupid aunt running her transphobic mouth.

this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2024

52 points (98.1% liked)

traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

962 readers

102 users here now

Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.

Please follow the Hexbear Code of Conduct
Selfies are not permitted for the personal safety of users.
No personal identifying information may be posted or commented.
Stay on topic (trans/gender stuff).
Bring a trans friend!
Any image post that gets 200 upvotes with "banner" or "rule 6" in the title becomes the new banner.
Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
When made outside of NSFW tagged posts, comments about dysphoria/traumatic/transphobic material should be spoiler tagged.
Arguing in favor of transmedicalism is unacceptable. This is an inclusive and intersectional community.
While this is mostly a meme community, we allow most trans related posts as we grow the trans community on the fediverse.