chapotraphouse

0, the pilots seat, going to do something very funny

3, so I can reach across the aisle (c;) and get some peanuts from Carter and feed them to W like a petting zoo animal.

10 obviously.

6. And immediately start asking Nixon what he thinks about Kennedy assassination.

(5) Is the violence seat.

Edit: markdown li

Doesn't matter "hey everyone I'm an aspiring grindcore vocalist and i need to get my practice in on this entire flight. Most of you are too old to know what I'm talking about but you'll soon learn."

I lock myself in the bathroom.

That Church scene from the first Kingsman movie but on this plane

I'm not supersticious enough to trust some Kennedy curse on this one. Ima sit in the cockpit. Just to make sure.

3. I am beating bush to death

Al Gore is kind of a dweeb, but he seems like the person who would be least obnoxious in that plane. Not that it matters too much, i don't engage the people around me on long plane flights, noise cancelling headphones and eye mask help.

8

Hopefully LBJ gets (very) drunk and tells me stories with way too much gossip and private details. And I'd have a flask with this favorite booze to help the process.

10 aisle seat

the first part of the flight is me strangling Nixon to death. The second part is talking to Kennedy about how the CIA is going to air his dome.

3. George Bush JR so I can take a huge dump in my pants and he has to smell it the whole flight. Also that placing puts me in the isle seat meaning I can block him from leaving.

Pilot and taking that shit down

at the back so my explosive jacket reduces the chance of survival as much as possible

1 so I can kick the back of Bush and Cheney's chairs the entire flight.

If jumping isn't an option then 1 just to throw hands

1, I wanna confuse the fuck out of Regan by getting Rommny to talk about those classic bible stories where Jesus visited the Americas or... uh... something about Lamenites...? I'll be honest, I never paid much attention as a child, and none of the Book of Mormon stories got Prince of Egypt animations so I've forgotten all of them

Number two, trade seats with Obama and talk with Biden about his dogs

Like, I'm not rhetorically skilled enough to talk with actual politicians about politics or anything

Definitely 6

7 so I have an isle seat and am close to the bathroom. I also don't remember who the person I'm sitting next to is though I remember their face so I can pretend when I talk to them that they work at some random food service job

Trump isn't an option, what's the fkn point

Is this a post-9/11 flight where there are armed U.S. Marshals blocking access to the cockpit for an intrepid box cutter enjoyer? If so, 7 might be semi-tolerable. Al is a pretty chill dude who has ridden the moon worm, plus I get to repeatedly kick the back of Quayle's seat and see how may times I can get him to whine, "but that's not fair!" while I respond with some variation of "shut up, potato[e] boy." I'm also in a good spot to yell, "HEY JUNIOR! A SECOND PEANUT HAS HIT YOUR DAD'S VEEP'S HEAD!" and blame it on Bobby and El Beej.

2, Obama did some horrible things, but everything I know about him suggests he'd be a good conversationalist.