this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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90
Trans Megathread from January 27th, 2024 to February 2nd, 2024 (lemmygrad.ml)
submitted 1 week ago by Ciel@lemmygrad.ml to c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net
620 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Hiiii!

Today: a short yap about computer hardware:

Damn I love the AM4 socket its so upgradable yay, bought a Ryzen 9 5900X for our old desktop soon to be homelab and so excited for it.

Computers are fun! ~~(and expensive)~~

Join our public Matrix server!

https://matrix.to//#/#tracha-space:transfem.dev

https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms

As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.

Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.

~~~~~~~~

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[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 21 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Wondering how my family will react to me being in a butchfemme relationship where I’m the femme. doggirl-sweat

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Personally I hope it's a "oh yeah, of course, that makes sense" reaction lol

[–] buh@hexbear.net 10 points 4 days ago

yeah for me coming out as trans would be a shock, but being the femme in that kind of relationship wouldn't be

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 21 points 4 days ago (1 children)

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 14 points 4 days ago

just when i think shit in life might go right for once it all goes back to shit again

[–] PopPrincess@hexbear.net 23 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Today I experienced that awkward situation where people will start spouting transphobic opinions without knowing you're trans. Funnily enough, one of them was the guy I recently went on a date with😬 I almost want to tell him I'm trans just to fuck with him as he's very interested in meeting up again, but I'm just going to break it off and luckily I'll likely never see him again as he's a few semesters ahead of me and the course we are currently on together is basically finished😅

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 15 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Why do people even feel the need? Especially if you aren’t a Fox News boomer uncle.
Like how is it even brought up??

[–] PopPrincess@hexbear.net 20 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

Yaa it's weird, the conversation was about height and then it turned to Thailand, I don't remember how😅

transphobiaBut of course the usual came up about how you can't know if a woman in Thailand is a woman🙄

Then the guy I went on a date with said that being trans couldn't be healthy because trans people have to take hormones and cut their dick off, and he was sure that trans people would at most live to 50 years of age🙄

And then they finished off by misgendering Elon Musk's trans daughter and saying that she fumbled the bag by disowning Elon🙄

I honestly don't know why it's something that gets brought up. Like trans visibility is generally quite low here in Denmark too, but bigots gonna be bigots I guess.

[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I’m so sorry you had to experience that. Like, even for a transphobe this was just really cruel. catgirl-cry

[–] PopPrincess@hexbear.net 15 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Yaa it was kind of a weird situation to be in (especially since he kissed me twice during the break today lol), but it means I won't have to waste my time or out myself unnecessarily. I kind of see it as his loss, like we vibed together and he seems very interested, he even wanted to watch a movie together today.

And thank you❤️ Dating as a trans person truly is miserable😫

[–] inTheShadowOf@hexbear.net 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

With cis people definitely, but t4t can make that less miserable

[–] PopPrincess@hexbear.net 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I don't know any other trans people, actually I've only ever met two trans men (at least that I know of, most likely I've interacted with more than two). I also do not participate in any LGBT+ communities IRL as my number one priority in life is to go stealth. I guess I'm also worried that dating another trans person would make my dysphoria even worse, maybe it's irrational idk😵‍💫

[–] inTheShadowOf@hexbear.net 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I guess I'm also worried that dating another trans person would make my dysphoria even worse, maybe it's irrational idk😵‍💫

Can I ask why you think that would be the case? A transmasc person's transition is quite different from yours.

In my experience, t4t relationships haven't just been eliminating the initial transphobia worry, but they also provide an understanding that I don't think cis people will really have (through no fault of their own)

[–] PopPrincess@hexbear.net 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

dysphoria/datingIdk, I guess I just don’t want to deal with any more trans issues. I hate being trans with all my being and I don’t want to be reminded of it. Also, I wouldn’t want my hatred of being trans to affect a partner of mine. Generally I suppress what is necessary to not out myself, e.g I’m slightly bisexual, but I won’t date women.

I can definitely see how it would be nice to not have to worry about transphobia and also have an inherent understanding, but I’d prefer a partner to never bring up me being trans, I hate talking about it or being reminded of it (to such a degree that I’ve considered cutting off anyone who knows I’m trans including my family even though they are supportive)

But idk, it’s not like I’ll completely rule out dating another trans person, but it’s unlikely due to my dysphoria and the fact that I don’t know any trans people IRL. I’ll have to see what the future brings😅

[–] inTheShadowOf@hexbear.net 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

::: spoiler spoiler There are lot of reasons the world gives us to hate being trans, I think even the most principled trans positive person is bound to feel it sometimes. I'm sorry it's been so difficult heart-sickle

Being stealth for whatever the reason is fine, but maybe it doesn't all have to be hate and shame. Easier said than done, of course, but I think any trans person you've shown kindness to would want you to feel some of that kindness and understanding as well.

To whatever the future brings!

[–] PopPrincess@hexbear.net 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

spoilerThe only things I connect with being trans are anger, shame and disgust. I’d prefer to never have been born. Sorry for the negativity, I’m just in a bad period currently.

Thanks for the kindness💕

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 11 points 4 days ago

Read this if you want and feel ready, but it's talking about internalized transphobia and it's a little direct. You might not feel ready, emotionally for some of it, that's okay.

spoilerI've been thinking about you lately. You're not the first person to tell me that they wished they weren't trans or thought of it as a curse, as if you're irrevocably broken and must be fixed in small ways. This is very different from how I experience being transgender - not broken or cursed but perhaps incomplete and need to be made whole, which is the same struggle all people share (trans or cis, etc).

A lot of what you've talked about suggests to me you have internalized transphobia to an enormous degree and perhaps hold a double standard about it. A reverse double standard lol, as in you'd never say what you've said to another trans woman. As in you'd never say "your life is not worth living, you are trans and therefore your life is worthless" but you're all too happy to say that to yourself.

Finding joy in being trans is how I feel, that doesn't have to be how you feel but I don't think it's helpful to yourself or others to wallow in shame and self pity and self disgust. Treat yourself like you would any other trans person you might meet, or any other woman. I know you want to be stealth and I find being stealth sometimes necessary to safety but not engaging in a community of trans people irl is doing yourself such a disservice. You seem like you think you're irrevocably cut off from hegemonic cis society and you've now chosen to cut yourself off from your trans brothers, sisters and siblings in general. To whatever degree you need stealth to be safe, I'd still suggest you go and speak with the other Danish trans people in a local group. I think you'll find a lot of your struggles and self conceptions are something shared with a lot of trans women and men and enbies, and that some people have grown beyond them. Maybe you'll never be interested in taking pride over being trans or finding it joyful, but at least you might stop feeling so bad about it.

You're not wrong or uniquely broken.

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

not hormones doggirl-shock

[–] PopPrincess@hexbear.net 11 points 5 days ago

Yeah like on top of being a bigot, he is a moron too😫 The worst part is that we are both medical students😬

[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 14 points 5 days ago

transphobiaIt makes them feel happy when they can hurt us. And because most of the media and politicians are on their side, they are currently feeling very emboldened to take advantage of that and say transphobic shit as many times as they want, even in the middle of completely unrelated conversations. Because in the end, they know that there won’t be any consequences for them.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@reddthat.com 6 points 4 days ago

Sometimes its recent things related to it. Like, sometimes my students will complain about some essay they have to write or like when there was the controversy of hogwarts legacy. At least it seems pretty rare for transphobia to just come up. I feel like homophobia might still be more common because of guys just calling each other gay due to their own insecurities or something.

[–] yewler@hexbear.net 17 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I've been doing some thinking about my own morality as of late and why I believe the things I do, and the more I think about it, the more I feel drawn toward veganism

[–] machiabelly@hexbear.net 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Veganism is super cool and if you're vegan you'll be cool too doggirl-thumbsup

Also, it's easier than people think, as long as you cook for yourself. It can be more difficult if you rely on eating out or prepared food a lot, but it is still very doable.

[–] yewler@hexbear.net 9 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Yooo I wanna be cool! Are there any starter resources you would recommend? I cook for myself predominantly

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I don't have recipes for you or anything, but heads up. When I switched to being vegan I farted like a lot. So much I thought something was wrong lol. Nope, it's from the extra dietary fibre, happens to a lot of people. You'll adjust eventually.

[–] yewler@hexbear.net 7 points 4 days ago

Oh wonderful, that's good to know. Thanks :)

[–] machiabelly@hexbear.net 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

  • Here are some youtube channels with good recipes: https://www.youtube.com/@PickUpLimes https://www.youtube.com/@RainbowPlantLife (check out her video on how to make crispy tofu) https://www.youtube.com/@thenarddogcooks (I don't use this one personally but he seems good) https://www.youtube.com/@YEUNGMANCOOKING/ Aaron and Claire, and Chinese Cooking Demystified and both good channels with lots of easy recipes to make vegan, but few totally vegan recipes.

  • Vegan diets are great at getting most types of nutrition. The only major exceptions are omegas and b12. There are plenty of vegan ways to get both, but they might not be things you eat every day. And you want to get those every day. Especially b12.

  • I still eat bivalves because they don't have central nervous systems. So if you have oyster sauce in your fridge feel free to keep it there.

  • Asian food is much easier to make vegan than western food. Western food is typically 1 part hunk of animal product, 1 part carb, 1 part veggie. In East Asian cooking meat is typically used to season a dish rather than be the dish. The core of most Asian dishes are rice/noodles, veggies, and a small amount of meat or tofu.

  • Umami seasonings! Buy gochujang. Also buy chinese black bean sauce. Better than boullion or Asian mushroom boulion powder are good too. Lee Kum Kee is a reliable and omnipresent brand in Asian cooking.

  • If you put love and attention into your Vegan cooking it will taste better than haphazard omni cooking. And, in time, even your haphazard cooking will. The food I make is incredibly rich and flavorful.

  • This brand of toasted sesame oil. If you can afford it it will elevate your dishes immensely.

  • Meat often adds a lot of salt and fat to dishes. Replace the salt and fat with something else and you're golden. Omnis typically put a ton of salt onto meat without thinking about it, even if the meat itself is unsalted. So replacing the meat with more veggies or something will make the meal seem underseasoned overall.

let me know if you have any questions this doesn't answer.

[–] yewler@hexbear.net 5 points 4 days ago

Omg this is amazing. Thank you so much for the detailed reply. You have me very exited to start figuring this out. I will certainly let you know if I have questions since it seems like you really know what you're doing.

I prefer Asian food to western food any day of the week

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[–] KatGirl@hexbear.net 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Thought of a good post but I'll save it for tomorrow so I can maximise the replies I get

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I'll happily upbear you today for your posts tomorrow

[–] Kiagz@hexbear.net 17 points 5 days ago

I want to learn how to knit so I can make sweaters for my plushies blahaj catgirl-heart

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 9 points 4 days ago

went on /tttt/ just to see what it was like for old times sake, but the experience was just pic related whenever I tried to make any trans megaesque posts

[–] buh@hexbear.net 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

my booba itch

but only the left one? thonk-trans

[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Right booba: blob-sleep

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[–] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 21 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

privileged questionwhich countries should I be trying to nudge my family towards if shit ramps up untenably in the states. they're considering the UK primarily atm so I absolutely have to find a different avenue if we are to pack and abscond

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 16 points 5 days ago

spoilerProbably wherever they might have a claim to citizenship.

New Zealand had a good program for skilled immigrants (all their young people move to Straya for work), so potentially you could move down there. And Canada is, like, right there across the border. You don't even need a passport if you're a permanent resident if the US or a US citizen. I dunno about moving outside the Anglosphere, but your money might go further anyway

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[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

My sleep has been so broken lately, a few hours in a row at most. This sucks smoking-fish

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[–] Eco@hexbear.net 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

the plural stag says he feels like a million bucks

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[–] JohnBrownsBussy2@hexbear.net 19 points 5 days ago (4 children)

Well, I wasted a fair number of syringes and a couple doses getting it right (I think I got it right...), but I completed my first intramuscular EV dose!

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[–] KatGirl@hexbear.net 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I have found soviet eastern front Yuri. Praying its actually good and not double genocide bullshit. Wish me luck

[–] KatGirl@hexbear.net 13 points 5 days ago

doggirl-gloom It's just using the soviet union as a setting, it isn't pro communism. They have a little text blurb on like page 15 and they say the reason the Nazis made so much ground against the Soviets in the years before the turnaround was because of " Stalin's repressions". It then goes on to say that "Nazi Germany and Stalin's USSR were cruel and ruthless countries, and that's why the Great Patriotic War remains in memory as the greatest and most terrifying conflict in history."

???? Like your saying that the reason WW2 was so awful on the people is because the USSR was supposedly as bad as Nazi fucking Germany? Fucking batshit

catgirl-cry I just wanted communist Yuri and this is what the liberals give ms

[–] JohnBrownsBussy2@hexbear.net 25 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Came out to my brother and he was super supportive. Just crying tears of joy and relief.

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[–] buh@hexbear.net 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Secondhand enterprise IT equipment should be considered gender affirming medication covered by insurance

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[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 13 points 5 days ago

I had no idea people were DMing me on discord. I had no idea I had DMs from people other than my friends on discord. So many people have tried to hit on me only to whiff because I'm like Mr Magoo and literally didn't notice it lmao

Keep at it strangers online, I will continue to ignore you because it's way funnier if I never notice

[–] KatGirl@hexbear.net 14 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Want to post through the pain (not actual pain or mental pain don't worry I'm just using words wrong) but I'm realizing I jus kinda need to see a psychiatrist or some shit. Also get friends but that's even harder somehow

[–] KatGirl@hexbear.net 6 points 4 days ago (2 children)

How long does it usually take to add new pronouns? Msged carcosa around 2 weeks ago and they haven't been added. Sorry if I'm being rude

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

That's happened before. Carcosa is just not the most active among admins.

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[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 16 points 5 days ago (12 children)

I see all the suffering in the world and feel like I don't deserve to be safe or happy.

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