this post was submitted on 08 May 2025
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chapotraphouse

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He will be going by Pope Leo XIV

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[–] TheLepidopterists@hexbear.net 84 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

looking for a new pope

ask the conclave if their papabile is cool or a pedophile shuffler

they dont understand

pull out illustrated diagram explaing what is cool and what is pedophile shuffler

they laugh and say “it’s a good papabile sir”

elect him

its a pedophile shuffler

[–] sleeplessone@lemmy.ml 78 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Ask for pizza pope

Get burger pope instead

The fuck?

[–] Gosplan14_the_Third@hexbear.net 44 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Sinisterium@hexbear.net 19 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

This was bomb though. Like a cultural phenomenon.

Although this variation was kinda cursed.

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago

As a food scholar, I confirm this is dialectical materialism.

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[–] Redcuban1959@hexbear.net 44 points 3 days ago

Ask for karaoke pope

Get deep dish pizza pope instead

what-the-hell

[–] invalidusernamelol@hexbear.net 28 points 3 days ago

He's from Chicago, so he's more of a pie pope

[–] some_dude@lemm.ee 51 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Huh. Never thought it would end up being an old white dude.

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago

Amerikkkan no less

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 58 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I am fully convinced Vance killed the Pope now. Needed to replace an anti genocide pope with a pro genocide American pope. It's the perfect crime

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 47 points 3 days ago

God is Dead and JD Vance has killed them

[–] Civility@hexbear.net 47 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Cardinal Prevost, now Pope Leo XIV, covers for pedophile priests.

Letter from the Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests to the Vatican

We the undersigned members of the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAP) wish to report to you the conduct of Cardinal Robert Prevost, Secretary General of the Synod of Bishops, consisting of actions or omissions intended to interfere with or to avoid a civil or canonical investigation, whether administrative or penal, against certain clerics of the the Diocese of Chiclayo (Vos estis lux mundi, Art. 1 (b)). Furthermore, in our opinion, this conduct of Cardinal Prevost stands as an abuse of ecclesiastical power, office, or function that has harmed the vulnerable and caused scandal

The Case against Fr. James Ray

  1. According to the 2023 Report on Catholic Clergy Child Sex Abuse in Illinois from the Attorney1 General of the State of Illinois in the United States of America, there are 13 reported victims of sexual abuse by Fr. James Ray.
  2. Records released by the Archdiocese of Chicago show the diocese was made aware of allegations in 1990 . Restrictions were placed on Ray, including that he not be alone with minors.2 Ray was removed from his parish assignment at Transfiguration Church in the fall of 1991 and removed from further parish work.
  3. From 2000 until 2002, Ray was permitted to reside at the St. John Stone Augustinian Friary in Hyde Park in Chicago near St. Thomas the Apostle Elementary School. Records from the Archdiocese of Chicago show that the Augustinians were informed of the restrictions placed on Ray and sought the approval of Robert Prevost who was then Provincial of the Augustinian Province of Chicago . The prior of St. John Stone agreed to serve as Ray’s on-site monitor of his3 compliance with the restrictions placed on him.
  4. The administration of St. Thomas the Apostle was not informed that a man accused of sexual abuse against multiple children was residing half a city block away from the school. Records from the Archdiocese of Chicago include letters erroneously claiming the Friary was not in the vicinity of a school, despite the school being run by the Archdiocese.
  5. Following the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops adopted of the “Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People” in 2002, Ray was removed from ministry and moved from the Friary . He was included on the Archdiocese of Chicago’s list of accused clergy in 2006 and laicized in 2012.

As the Archdiocese of Chicago had already placed restrictions on Ray being in the company of minors for nine years prior to his residence at St. John Stone Priory and communicated these when seeking approval from the Provincial, Robert Prevost, Cardinal Prevost was aware of the danger that Ray posed to minors when he gave approval. Nonetheless, Ray was permitted to live at the Priory in the vicinity of an elementary school without informing the administration of the school. By doing so, Cardinal Prevost endangered the safety of the children attending St. Thomas the Apostle.

The Case Against Fr. Eleuterio Vásquez Gonzáles and Fr. Ricardo Yesquen

  1. On April 5, 2022, three women made complaints to the Bishop of Chiclayo, Robert Prevost, against priests of the Diocese, Fr. Eleuterio Vásquez Gonzáles and Fr. Ricardo Yesquen, accusing them of sexual abuse beginning in 2007 when all were minors. One of the victims, Ana María Quispe Díaz, reported that when she was nine years old the priests had sexually abused her . Public statements from Díaz claim the existence of seven victims with abuse dating back to 1997.
  2. The Diocese of Chiclayo claims that Fr. Gonzáles was suspended from ministry following the complaints and that Fr. Yesquen’s age and health prevented him from being in ministry.
  3. The Diocese of Chiclayo claims they sent a report to the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith on July 21, 2022 . The victims filed complaints with the civil authorities in December 2022, citing a lack of progress with the canonical investigation and following the failure of the Diocese of Chiclayo to inform the civil authorities. The prosecutors closed the case since the statute of limitations had expired, and the Diocese of Chiclayo forwarded this decision to the DDF on Jan 4,
  4. The DDF delivered its decision to close the case in August 2023 based on the decision of the Peruvian civil authorities and after Prevost was appointed head of the Dicastery for Bishops. Bishop Guillermo Cornejo, the interim Apostolic Administrator of the Diocese of Chiclayo, later re-opened the case.
  5. Following these complaints in 2022, the victims made public statements that then-Bishop Prevost failed to open a preliminary investigation, notify civil authorities, or properly restrict the priests from ministry. They report that they were not asked to testify for an investigation or called by any investigator to make a deposition, and were not offered any psychological support or assistance by the diocese. The August 2023 decision of the DDF was thus missing essential evidence had the Diocese conducted an investigation prior to the report sent to them . The decision of the civil authorities, used to justify closing the case in August 2023, was because the statute of limitations had passed in Peru and not under canon law and is furthermore not evidence of the merits of their allegations. The victims’ statements show photographs and screenshots from social media showing Fr. Gonzáles celebrating mass publicly at La Inmaculada de Santa Cruz and San José Obrero during the time his public ministry was supposed to have been restricted.

As the Ordinary of the Diocese of Chiclayo, there is serious reason to believe that Cardinal Prevost did not follow the procedures established by the Holy See for carrying out investigations following reports of abuse. There is evidence that the accused priests were not suspended from public ministry following a report of abuse and during the period of the purported preliminary investigation. The victims’ testimony was not gathered, Cardinal Prevost did not notify the civil authorities of the allegations, and the victims were not offered psychological support or assistance . The allegations of the victims indicate that under the leadership of Cardinal Prevost, the Diocese of Chiclayo did not investigate their abuse claims and misrepresented their testimony in the report to the DDF, preventing an accurate assessment of the case. Thus, we request Vatican officials conduct a thorough investigation of the situation, with the results of the investigation being made public.

--source

[–] quarrk@hexbear.net 45 points 3 days ago

Sorry guys it was me. I dropped the pope

[–] Redcuban1959@hexbear.net 38 points 3 days ago

Another lib pope, I just didn't expect an American pope.

[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 41 points 3 days ago
[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 32 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Kind of boring pope name. Now the power move here would have been to take the name God I.

[–] No_Bark@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Christ II would have been pretty bad ass as well.

[–] gay_king_prince_charles@hexbear.net 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Peter II is a baller move too

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[–] Sleve_McDichael@hexbear.net 37 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Pope Leto II to guide humanity on the Golden Path

[–] Sickos@hexbear.net 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Would god still love me if I were a worm

[–] codexarcanum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 3 days ago

Would god still love you if He were a worm?

[–] RION@hexbear.net 36 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Boring ass papal name. Call me when we get an Urban or something

[–] Redcuban1959@hexbear.net 24 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Pope Leo XIII (1878-1903)

Greatest achievement: Known for his social encyclicals, especially Rerum Novarum, which dealt with the issue of workers' rights and the need for social justice.

[–] Gosplan14_the_Third@hexbear.net 30 points 3 days ago (1 children)

From a class collaborationist, conservative perspective of course.

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago

I read it for catechism, and while it's very much a piece of catholic doctrine from the 1800s, it has in it a lot of the seeds of the more socially involved movements within the church.

[–] Sinisterium@hexbear.net 23 points 3 days ago

He was anti-communist "both sides" though.

[–] ProletarianDictator@hexbear.net 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If I read the correct document earlier, Rerum Novarum had an extremely reactionary take on class struggle and essentially worshipped private property.

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[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 21 points 3 days ago

Pope Popey McPopeFace

Leo is a decent pope name, but Lando > Celestine > Urban > Boniface > Sextus > Linus > Leo > Sylvester > ... Pius > John

[–] rootsbreadandmakka@hexbear.net 34 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

From what I can tell not the worst guy. Sort of a continuation of Francis though more moderate.

I’m sure he’s not great in like an absolute sense. Don’t really think any pope would be. Also I’m not a catholic so idrc what they do. But I just read a bunch of comments from a bunch of tradcaths malding about this choice so I’m happy.

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 34 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'd be very cautious to jump to conclusions. Tradcaths were going to mald no matter who stepped out the balcony if it wasn't Robert Sarah or Erdo.

I posted Rerum Novarum in the news megathread which was Leo XIII's encyclical touching on socioeconomic doctrine. TLDR it's a pretty gross misunderstanding of the socialist critique of private property. There's a possibility that Leo XIV wants to elaborate/iterate on that doctrine, for better or worse. And I don't know if the documents are real but these letters from SNAP regarding protection of priests who had committed sexual abuse are also concerning.

[–] rootsbreadandmakka@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

I have seen the stuff about protecting pedophile priests. Obviously horrible, but it’s also the Catholic Church so I’m not really expecting great things from them. Iirc Francis was also not great on those things. Not really sure if this guy is worse, I don’t keep up on those things.

Can you expound a bit on the Rerum Novarum? I’m not in a place where I can really read anything rn. I did look briefly at the Wikipedia page, it seems like it’s mostly some typical lib “we don’t like socialism but we’re also against ‘crony capitalism’” stuff. Is that generally correct?

I wasn’t expecting some socialist or something in the papacy. But I suppose I’m coming from the perspective of seeing a lot of people hoping for the immediate rollback of the past 70 or more years of social progress after the election of Trump. Like a great worldwide mandate to return to the social order of old. And so even though this guy seems like just some basic moderate, not even as progressive as Francis (a low bar), the fact that he’s not completely against those reforms and in many cases supportive seems like not the worst outcome.

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[–] Sickos@hexbear.net 27 points 3 days ago

> be me
> praying because good catholic
> want to do good, but world's shit
> crisis of faith, ask god "why do bad things happen to good people?"
>
>
> god hits me with "new pope, who dis?"

[–] Salem@hexbear.net 30 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Is this guy also a Zionist

[–] Redcuban1959@hexbear.net 25 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I don't think so, he seems close with Francis, and seems like a lib. He also lived in Peru for a long time and was anti-fujimori (far-right dictator of peru during the 1990s), and he seems to really like Peru. He also said some anti-JD stuff on social media.

[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 21 points 3 days ago
[–] dom@hexbear.net 24 points 3 days ago

born in Chicago

[–] xj9@hexbear.net 24 points 3 days ago (1 children)

They elected Chevy Chase for pope?

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[–] take_five_moments@hexbear.net 18 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

XIV

pope completely in red

FIRST NORTHERNER POPE

a fucking yank pope lol, beyond pathetic

No Sextus VI biblically-accurate-kitty

[–] buh@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Prevost earned a Bachelor of Science in mathematics from Villanova University in 1977.

the first STEMlord pope??

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 13 points 2 days ago

Get yourself a pope who not only understands sin, but cos too.

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[–] Antiwork@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago

Damn he could've gone with Pope Francis II

[–] buh@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago

Leo XIV sounds like the stage name for a visual kei singer

[–] TheSpectreOfGay@hexbear.net 15 points 3 days ago

noo i wanted the pizza guy

[–] ObamaSama@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Huh I’m going to Vatican City on Saturday, have a chance to do something incredibly funny curious-marx

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[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I refuse to believe the Cardinals got together to elect a Cubs fan. Absolute nonsense

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