this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2023
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chapotraphouse

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Oh, you think it's funny that I turn red and have palpitations when I eat spicy food? You think that just because I'm white my pain and suffering doesn't matter? That eating spicy food hurts my delicate little tongue and far more delicate little asshole? I might get dehydrated from sweating too much, that's dangerous you know. You get a real good laugh when you order habanero salsa for the table, and then when I try to say I don't want any all my poc friends start chanting "SALTINE BOY SALTINE BOY SALTINE BOY" until I load up a chip and begin a 3-4 hour medical ordeal that only ends when I shit my pants while running to the bathroom? Is this a joke to you? I already put black pepper on the table. Any more flavor out here and I might literally have a heart attack, and science proves it. I just want to be able to fully appreciate the ingredients of my dish, whole boiled potatoes and salted meat. If that makes me a SALTINE BOY then so be it. I will not eat the peppers, and I will not get into the pod.

If you all keep teasing me I'm going to join lemm.ee and give you an aneurysm with my liberalism.

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[–] eight@hexbear.net 46 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“The food of the true revolutionary is the red pepper, and he who cannot endure red peppers is also unable to fight.” -Mao Zedong

Sorry, I don't make the rules, lib.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 31 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Apparently there are two kinds of white people in America.

Those who consider oregano a wildly exotic spice, and those who buy gallon jugs of a sauce that doubles as aligator poison.

[–] regul@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It me. Alligator poison boy.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

You have my permission to put that on a T shirt.

[–] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

The only thing whiter than not being to take spice is pepper spraying your mouth and calling it flavour

[–] Egon@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

Yeah it's kinda sad to me with the MEGA CHILI DEATH MURSER SAUCE "enjoyers" that put some weird thing with a scoville level only achievable thru synthetic addition of capsaicin on their food in order to prove how manly they are or whatever.
I like spicy food, no need to make it my personality though

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

kitty-cri

Why would you do this to me in my moment of vulnerability

[–] Tastysnack@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ngl spicy food is bombass.

Sorry you shid and piss your pants OP.

Have you tried buttered bread with luncheon meat and rubbery cheese? It's good food for anti-cracker-aktion

[–] Egon@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

If you've never had good fresh-baked bread with some butter and a bit of salt on top, I feel sad for you. Bread rolls are great stuff when done right.
Spicy food is also nice, but sometimes you just want a nice piece of bread

[–] Tastysnack@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fresh baked bread with melted butter is amazing, especially when you cook it at home uwu

[–] Egon@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Being good food
Spicy stuff unity not spicy stuff

[–] Tastysnack@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You know what's good food?

Crumpets with marmite 🔥

[–] Egon@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

farquaad-point ANGLO
I don't think I'll ever learn to like marmite. Too salty.

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[–] DanComrd@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Crumpets = Absolutely amazing Marmite = rat poison (jk) Combining both wouldnt have been my first thought, but I'll try it. bean-think

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[–] AlicePraxis@hexbear.net 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I do wish I could eat spicy food without my nose running like crazy. I like the flavor and can handle it emotionally but I can't help how my sinuses react.

So I end up eating spicy stuff all the time when I'm alone but avoid it around others because having to blow my nose three times during a meal is embarrassing lol

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago

I love spicy food and I still get a runny nose from spice levels below what I can even detect anymore

My nose knows stuff is spicy before I do

[–] Zezzy@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

Gonna pour one out for all my serranos and jalapeños in my former garden. Only got to eat one serrano angery The part of the garden with peppers didn't fully burn, but they were all well roasted, soft, and in the unsafe temperature zone for days

[–] Huldra@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Did like a thing happen on the food comm or is this just pure make up a guy.

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

I'm a real boy (posting fake things on the Internet)

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

im white enough to reflect light yet i never have a problem with spicy foods messing up my stomach, or any foods really.

just built to be a carbage disposal trash mammal ig gigachad

[–] btfod@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

Eat the One Chip or GTFO

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)

SALTINE BOY SALTINE BOY SALTINE BOY

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

maddened damn you owl!

[–] Antiwork@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Coin Bois “heads I eat the death pepper.. tails you eat it.”

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[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

ooo new pfp!! who's a grumpy liddle owl? headpat

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[–] vertexarray@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

shoutout to balduk instant noodles for expanding my spicy horizons

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I got the double spicy ones once

Oh geez, that was a mistake

[–] eXAt@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Last time I was at the grocery store they only had the 2x spicy ones, guess this confirms I was right to pass on them that time.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I can handle a decent level of spicy chili, but those made my mouth go completely numb

[–] regul@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

The chicken is very angry.

[–] Smeagolicious@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I want to eat my old favorite spicy noodles but they all include fuckin beef or pork in the sauce/stock. Hardest thing about trying to eat more ethically was not dropping meat, but all the foods that have secret hidden meat/animal products for no damn reason.

Anyway I get symptoms 1 & 2, but never experienced the severe distress cracker-Americans won’t shut up about. Can we also talk about that? How mfs wanna interject and expound at length about their burning asshole whenever you mention Indian, SE Asian, Latin American etc. cuisine.

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Can we also talk about that?

I'd rather not tbh

[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's about the journey, not the destination.

I'm pretty lmayo, but I still think it's worth it. Serranos are one of my preferred peppers. Nice medium heat with tons of flavor.

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

Serranos are wonderful. The next time you are cooking over an open flame throw some on. You won't regret it!

[–] ZoomeristLeninist@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

is there a reason i only get the first two? like ive never had stomach/digestion problems or a burning asshole from eating spicy food, and i eat spicy food all the time

[–] Huldra@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I have to wonder if like the stomach issues stuff is more fast food trouble than spicy food trouble, because I've never noticed stomach troubles either and I either get spicy stuff homemade or get it from places at least 1 tier above fast food chains.

Feels like either that, people getting comically hot peppers as a dumb joke on themselves, or just like some people genuinely have the wrong stomach genes for it.

[–] ped_xing@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

I was once a ridiculously spicy person, massively overdid it once and am now just a spicy person. Spice-induced gastritis is real. I eat all sorts of crap, but only the red sauce from the kati rolls place is going to make me swell up and hurt the next day. Avoid spicy challenges unless you know exactly what you're getting into -- ideally by going with friends and splitting the fissile material.

[–] StalinwasaGryffindor@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I strongly agree with this, and think it has something to do with spiced oils specifically. I can eat fresh peppers and cooked peppers when they’re made at home and I’ll be a mess while eating with watery eyes and a runny nose, but that will be it. If I eat spicy fast food or spicy processed snacks it will be a bad 24 hours

I know the human body digests material at differing rates depending on what it is. Proteins are primarily digested in the stomach, starches are digested in the mouth and small intestine, and lipids are digested in the small intestine. So it makes sense to me that when the capsaicin has been emulsified it will pass through the stomach and then be felt in the intestines. (Disclaimer: it’s been a while since I had education on this topic, may be misremembered/outdated information)

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago

I strongly agree with this, and think it has something to do with spiced oils specifically.

Spiced oils are some diabolical shit. I don't know the science behind why, but I've made my own sauces and pastes at home, and the oil I make with the same ingredients is by far the hottest. I can't put more than a quarter teaspoon into a gallon of soup if I want my family to eat it.

(naturally, its my favourite now)

[–] Facky@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

I never had the ring of fire until I got older, but spicy food does make me cough and sometimes hiccup.

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[–] Egon@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

It also tastes good! That's also a thing that happens

[–] ped_xing@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

And is there any negative effects?

[–] WittyProfileName2@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

TIL some people get the shits from eating spicy food.

I always thought it was a meme tbh.

I did see a believable explanation here regarding it and Taco Bell though: most people don’t get anywhere near enough fiber and the “white people spicy” Taco Bell is actually good at getting people fiber.

[–] Luminocta@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

I eat spicy buldak noodles for lunch for quite some time now, every week I'd say once.

Last week, for the first time ever, I had my first "ring of fire". It really really hurt.

[–] Venus@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I might be a cat because I was pretty sure this was a picture of a snake by the thumbnail

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[–] Tastysnack@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This made me cry laughing 🫂

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