this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2024
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Here's to a new year! Here's my first mega try (also first time posting in a while due to reasons) but heya! Admittedly struggled a fair bit with self doubt and anxiety on this one as put it off for a while/other things caught up with me but I figure I'll be glad I did it once I've done it. It's kinda being done last minute though, so admittedly there's that...

I'd been intending to make the mega about something else originally when I signed up, but that would require more time on my part (and I just binge read this recently, so it all works out). Anyways, my subject of the week is The Summer Hikaru Died; it's a queer (BL) horror manga which is currently also scheduled for anime release next year (2025).

Content warnings naturally follow and further details will be spoilered.

CONTENT WARNINGSGrief, body horror and (very debatably IMO) mild gore, supernatural horror (ghosts/"impurities", otherworldly entities), death I suppose though that one's a given

PremiseThe titular Hikaru went for a walk in the woods, died, and something came back wearing his body, something that doesn't quite know how to be human or mortal; "Hikaru" returned, to ensure that his best friend, Yoshiki, would not be lonely. Romantic tension (and tension of a less pleasant kind) ensues.

The plot/things I like about it thus far (light spoilers)Yoshiki and "Hikaru" have an absolutely great dynamic- their relationship may not be fully healthy, but their intentions seem to both be in the right place, as are their deep feelings (Yoshiki's for Hikaru and increasingly for "Hikaru," and Hikaru and "Hikaru's" own true feelings) and honesty in this regard, despite the latter "Hikaru" being effectively an imposter of sorts. (it's complicated, but these are increasingly distinguished separately and I really like that process as well)

"Hikaru" is, while not quite a blank slate, extremely new to the concept of even just "being" in the sense that mortal creatures and individual organisms(?) do. They've had to learn (and Yoshiki has had to confront them about) the value and significance of life and death; they've increasingly established boundaries, and they approach the world with a liveliness and curiousity that is really cute (the original Hikaru was also lively FWIW, but "Hikaru" is experiencing everything anew even if they retain the memories).

Yoshiki, on the other hand, is both grappling with his grief and loss of Hikaru, while finding comfort (and discomfort alike) in his imposter, and in guiding them through a new world or state of being. He's finding his resolve and moral/ethical backbone interacting with "Hikaru" (very blue-and-orange morality dynamics, though they're learning), he's experiencing what could be described as a rocky but determined romance and queer experimentation at the same time "Hikaru" is being introduced to notions of attraction and desire (beyond instinctual desire to consume).

Their pairing in so many ways should not work (or rather would be usually destined for a tragic end). From the start, there have been several points where by all means it should have met such an end. But their determination and willingness to meet the other where they're at and gradually be understanding with the other is both fascinating and something I'd feel optimistic for (and interested in seeing play out further).

Anyways, I should cut myself short at this (and make sure to have something properly written beforehand for next time). But anyways, thus far it's a strong recommend (if you feel alright with the content warnings) from me.


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As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.

Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

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(page 5) 50 comments
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[–] Eco@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

breaking bad if it was cool:

do not. forcefem my husband.

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[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (8 children)

Reading an appallingly bad yuri manga so that I can remember how bad things really are and what the good times are like by contrast, and then being satisfied reading a middling yuri manga madeline-smug

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[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

dysphoria, self care, body hairBeen putting it off but gonna try the Nair creme I got after awhile neglecting myself and will let you all know how it goes

(I'm a deeply cursed big gay baby with super sensitive skin but also ridiculous hirsute Mediterranean genes)

Hopefully it goes well, if not, I hope to provide valuable data to trans sciencetrans-heart

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[–] Yukiko@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Work sucks and no one should have so many meetings in one day. Especially over inane stuff that doesn't need handled in a Zoom call. Just let me do my job. aubrey-angry

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Fucking great! I’m sick again for the second time this month. Another week of eating baby food, I guess? catgirl-flop

[–] gaystyleJoker@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago

hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i'll add you to the list!

the list as it stands:

Eco* (1/6 (The Darkest Day in Our Democracy.) - 1/12)
Yukiko (1/13 - 1/19)
oscardejarjayes* (1/20 - 1/26)
SwitchyandWitchy* (1/27 - 2/2)
SILLY BEAN@lemmygrad.ml* (2/3 - 2/9)
AshenWolf* (2/10 - 2/16)
GayTuckerCarlson* (2/17 - 2/23)

EstraDoll (3/2 - 3/8)

​ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

[–] yewler@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago

I'm so damn tired of smug liberals. It's so exhausting

[–] CDommunist@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Trans guy who changes his name to Jeff Gordon

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[–] RION@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (5 children)

What's a good medium length "plausible deniability" haircut? My hair is resting at my shoulders now and I want to clean it up while keeping it decently lengthy. Can't be too girlish but I don't want it to be boyish either. I guess that's just androgynous but I feel like androgynous ends up being code for "unconventional" in a way that doesn't fit me stylistically

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[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (3 children)

@Tomboymoder@hexbear.net

are you diying or going through offical channels?

I'm going through planned parenthood

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[–] Eco@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago

charlie chaplin working in bureaucracy: stamp tramp

[–] AshenWolf@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago

happy new year mega!

2025...

That's one number higher than 2024

[–] Yukiko@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (5 children)

I'm thinking about getting a MacBook when tax time comes around. I've not used a Mac since high school and I'm curious to see how their UI and how comfortable their OS's user experience has become. If I don't like it, I can resell it pretty quickly and easily for a minor loss, so I'm not too terribly concerned about it. Also consumer therapy is a thing >w>

That said, my ThinkPad is just not performing as well as I need it to and I need to replace it. I never expected to be doing so much on it and I need more power from its GPU. Shouldn't expect so much from a 5 year old AMD APU. Also my fault for expecting so much from a $200 eBay laptop.

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[–] ComradeMonotreme@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago

Me: cool how theres 15 bandanas in the wardrobe in 2025 and none go with my outfit. Normal World

Also me: wow its almost like those are my BDSM bandanas and arent meant to go on outfits????????? but ok go off

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

dysphoria but positive? Transition goals?? Alcohol/tobacco mentionThe enby duality of realizing what you actually want is to be, like, futch gymrat BjΓΆrk (in the "Venus as a Boy" vid)/Carrie-Anne Moss(in The Matrix)/Annie Lennox("Sweet Dreams are Made of This" vid)/Motoko Kusanagi (Stand Alone Complex look), but also a little bit of Tom Waits wearing the little kid devil Halloween costume and the red high heels smoking a cig drinking whiskey in the "I Don't Wanna Grow Up" music video

sicko-fem flag-non-binary-pride

πŸ‘ πŸ‘ 

Anyways, I'm really fucking gay

W-women p-pretty kitty-cri-screm im-fuckin-gay

But also men handsome gigachad

I'm pan maxing RN and so goddamn thirsty it's painful

I just wanna be pureeeee i-get-it flag-pan-pride

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[–] Wendy_Pleakley@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (5 children)

"Things went from Sinbad to Sin-worse!"freaking out because I might have to jury duty without my Adderall and/or antidepressants. it's only an issue if I actually serve on the jury I guess.

but like, texting my parents and my sibling when I'm freaking out doesn't work. I'm like shaking and typing and walking at the same time, and they just respond with "cool". Like, I need someone to acknowledge the intensity of what I'm feeling.

My brother is like "oh well I hope things get better". My bag broke and my mom is like "we can buy you another" I wanted this one, I only broke it because I was mad because nobody is taking me seriously ..

where is the understanding. where is the "I know how you feel, there there, we can get through this". Trick Question! Not in my fucking family. We watch each other walk off cliffs and then laugh because "that's just how we are".

I might call a hotline because holy hell I'm worse than I thought. Trying really hard to keep it together. It's so hard when I'm telling someone how upset I am and they're reacting like I'm talking about an episode of Frasier I saw.

like how can this matter to only me. how can my life not resonate with others even on the level of "wow, I know how that feels".

To me there is such an obvious thing of like, I'm telling you this and I look upset and am acting upset, and for you to react in such a casual way is to deny me the space of my emotions and to be unwilling to engage with what I'm dealing with.

I'm reaching a fever pitch where I really may need someone to tell me to fuck off. If I'm truly not supposed to expect anyone to care whatsoever, I need that told to me explicitly. If I am truly on my own, I need someone to tell me to my fucking face . I need someone to explain to me what I'm doing wrong because I don't fucking know anyone and I'm gonna go nuts.

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[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (25 children)

Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow (spoiler free though)

For a primer see here

I know it probably seems like I just talk about the same shit on repeat, but things stick in my brain. I did not become intimately familiar with Nevada's guts by not yapping about it...

I need to play it again still, but Fallow defeated me basically. I would probably say that Fallow is a top 10 game for me, but it feels sort of weird to say when I feel like my understanding is incomplete. Having a refusal of closure for an ending is pretty par for the course at least when it comes to Trans A Novels, but Fallow is built different. It probably has less than 10,000 words of dialogue total.

Fallow is a very vague, alluring "vibes" game. People talk about this stuff in any old mainstream game, and maybe I'm just so dumb that I needed a game to rip away my analytical ability to appreciate it, but I fucking GET IT now. Fallow is A VIBE. Or maybe average video games just don't hit hard enough thematically. I love the eerie, desolate mood though, I love the colour pallete, how everything is dried out and creaky feeling, how the music swings between "kinda chill" and "absolutely not fuckin chill, where do you think you are kiddo?"

You could just accept it as a vibes piece, and it manages to convey a lot about its core mood and themes just through like, context, and Isabelline's narration. The flashbacks, the dream sequences, you know. But someone writing about Fallow had the utter nerve to open her write-up saying "I wish I felt more confident about my understanding of Fallow, a new lo-fi adventure game by the artist and musician Ada Rook." Fuck you, that's my line.

The meaning of what happens after the days run out is more or less completely lost on me. I'll take notes when I go back in. I know art is whatever you take away from it, in a sense, but I wonder what the intent behind certain things was. I desire to understand a little bit about who/how/why this was made this specific way. It feels like I should, too; I'm stupid, but I pretty much studied for this. My life's goofyass obsession, and when the credits rolled on Fallow I was basically left staring at them, thinking "huh." Not a good feeling.

I guess it's kind of arrogant to assume you can just understand all of the things on some level, and I know this fixation on comprehension is a dumb overly-literal autism thing, but I persist. I wanna know what happens exactly to Isabelline and her sisters.

Also... are those like, sisters, or sisters-sisters? lea-think

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[–] shallot@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (8 children)
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